Adelaideman

I think the reason for some people not settling could also be where you move. I think it makes it easier if there is a high rate of other english people in your area. Perth and Adelaide have very high amounts of english. I've never been to Perth but thats what i hear. If you hear someone with an English accent you automaticly have a talking point therefor easier to make friends. My mum lived here between about the ages of 9-15 as a child but when her farther passed my nan wanted to move back to England to be with the rest of the family. The reason for my parents choice to move over here was because of my mums experiences of living here as a child, much better lifestyle. When we moved here in 1990(I was 7) I think it was alot easier for my parents because of the amount of UK people that live here. Our next door neighbours were english and alot of my friends I made imediatly were English scotish and an irish lad and my parents also became friends with there parents from talking in the playground. The inability to get work could also affect people settling in process, but persist and you will succeed

KatieStar

Hi I had periods of homesickness over the past few months, which come like waves and go. Thankfully I feel now I am getting over it.

I think if it was feasible to move back during a bad homesickness episode I would have wanted to. However it wasn't and I am glad that it wasn't as I am feeling much happier and settled now. My advice would be to stick with it here for 2 years to give it a real good go as it definitely will take me this long to even begin to feel like this is my home.

HTH and good luck
Katie

JAYMAC

Hi,

We came here 'blind' so to speak having never visited before but the long road waiting for a visa gives you plenty time to research. In fact I think sometimes, the more you look the more you worry, so in the end we made the decision just to get there, lock stock and barrel. My philosophy was, if we settle thats great, if we dont we will return having had the most expensive holiday ever. I didnt really believe we would turn right around but saying that gave me the confidence just to get on and do it.

We always lived within 15 miles of all of our relatives and got on really well but we were always independent and didnt ever rely on anyone other than knowing we were always welcome for a cuppa. I think that is perhaps one of the things that make a difference - if you rely heavily on relatives for support then it will make it a bit more difficult.

I had a good relationship with my UK workmates and do miss them at times, but I am slowly integrating into the social aspect of work here, and that would be the same for anyone changing jobs (especially after having 13 years history with the same company).

We have been here nearly 7 months and so far so good, it is a bit strange at times, almost unreal, to think you are on the other side of the world but basically we have just dropped into living real life here, by that I mean things like the day to day things you have to do wherever you live. In between though we enjoy the extra bits that Australia offers due to the climate , ie fishing, barbecues swimming etc.

Julia

chugo101

I have lived in the same street for my entire life, I lived for 23 years with my parents and then moved 5 doors down the road where I have lived 8 years with my hubby and kids. I see my parents every day, I holiday abroad with them and yet I have made the decision to have an adventure and move to oz! The longest time I have ever not seem them for is 2 weeks! My husband has been offered a fantastic job at Ford in Geelong with a good salary so we figure 'what the heck, lets give it a go'. We plan to live in Torquay to live the dream of being by the seaside etc.. - hopefully this will help me to settle a little easier BUT I am under no illusions, I have done stacks of research, asked loads of questions and I know I am going to be dreadfully homesick and probably cry myself to sleep every night cause 'I want my mum!' I feel a real sh** for taking the grandchildren away from my parents but my mum keeps saying that if I don't do this I'll regret it for ever (through gritted teeth & teary eyes) I know we must do it and I am prepared to give it a go. I will make the effort to go to lots of playgroups so myself & the kids can make lots of new friends and hopefully, if everyone is a friendly & sociable as people seem to say then I'll make some new friends to help me through the bad times too! I just figure that I'll take it year by year and if I hate it I can always come back! 'Nothing ventured, nothing gained!'
Claire (Due to arrive September 06) :scared:

Mummy

We've been here for just about 2 years now and were quite happy and settled here until about 6 months ago. Sometimes its just not about being settled or not - in our case it is about what we feel is the best thing to do for everyone concerned.

6 months ago we went back to the UK for a visit, and it was just eye-opening to see how our 2 year old son got on with his family, who he had only seen a handful of times before. We did not appreciate the value of our families before we came here. When we made the move our son was still a baby, and so it was just a case of us two leaving our families - we didn't have to worry about the emotional impact on our son of leaving his family because he was so young. Now that he is older and it clear to see the interaction between him and his grandparents/aunts/uncles and cousins, it is much easier to see the emotional impact that leaving his family after such a short visit has on him, and on those family members too. He has no concept of time yet, so how do we try to explain to him that no we can't go and see grandma and grandad, not for a very long time.

We have therefore made the decision to return to the UK so that he can know his family and vice versa - we have no family here in Australia, and none of our friends here can even come close to replacing the close relationships with several people that all children need. He goes to family day care 4 days a week, and so has become very close to his childminder, but that relationship will have to end if we are still here when he goes to school.

I am close to my family, but lived about a 5 hour drive from them when we were still living in the UK, and we only really saw them every 3-4 months or so. I did not think we would be amongst the people that post on here who are returning for family reasons, but we are. I just feel that our son needs to develop a close and continuing relationship with more than just me and his father. When we return, needless to say, we will be aiming to live much close to our family than before.

I really hope that this does not turn into another citizenship for returnees debate, but I will say that we are intending to gain our citizenship before we return because we would like to come back again in say 20 years time - and no doubt so will our son.

And finally, I'm sure for everyone making the move out here, for those who stay, it will be hardest for the first generation, and less so for the next.

BadgeIsBack

I feel guilty now - quite often a few years would go by between me seeing my old dear...when I was living in Europe!! I last saw her 3 years ago - I think the record was 9 weeks (probably broken by a day or something) for my father, but since being out of the UK permanently - the interval was 2 and a half years!!

Luckily my mother is very hot on email.

It takes all sorts I reckon. People with more life experience seem to cope better.

chugo101

Get and see your mother right now!!Poor woman!!
My mother is Learning to be hot on email and we're going to set them up with one of our PC's and a web cam etc.. then we can see her everyday if need be. I just think that I have a life too and I need to experience the world. My parents are only 59 and fit and healthy so its not as if their on their last legs, they have never travelled to Australia either so they'll no doubt come for lots of holidays!

steandleigh

I agree with jad and rich - its all about the attitude you have to life and the future in general, not just a short sighted 'now' view of life...

Added to which, some people vastly underestimate how much they will miss their family and the family support network they have previously relied on (especially those with tiddlypeeps).

Personally, I never say never about anything but for the forseable future, Australia is the right thing for us as a family. Cheers

mark937

have realistic expectations. Oz isn't utopia, its a developed country with the same problems as any other country. Expect to go through the stages of homesickness. By this I mean the initial elation on landing, the fascination of everything thats new and exciting, followed by the stress and reality of finding a house, schools, job etc Some days you'll feel just awful, everything goes wrong, it'll all appear expensive learning curve and you'll want to run back to where you feel you had security - your old life! Remember to give yourself time to adjust and settle. Don't expect to land and say 'i love it'! The first you'll see is the airport terminal, all geared up for the tourist, bright, colourful, lots of info, clean - then you get out of the airport! If its anything like Brisbane, you'll be in for a culture shock (normal airport perimeter stuff - litter, graphitti,damaged signs etc). Once you're out and in the area you'll be planning on settling you can have a real good look and take everything in. Go on gut instinct, if something feels right, then go for it. If it's really not for you, and you were happier in the uk, then admit it. Some people are just too scared to admit they've made a mistake because of how much they've been through to get here. They just 'put up' everything because they've spent so much time, effort and money - not to mention all the emotional up's and down's that have affected the whole family. You have to be honest to yourself.

Personally, I wouldn't about whether you'll love or hate it yet. Just land, sort yourselves out, enjoy the intial holiday feeling, then get down to the nitty, gritty of a new life. Make the most of everything new and try and do stuff you wouldn't normally do in the uk. For me and my son that was surfing and getting into water sports and bush walking. Good luck and don't worry, if its meant to be, its meant to be!

JackTheLad

We've settled here quite well because JTL and I are truly billy-no-mates!

Before we moved here, due to work, we always had to travel. We didn't really have a circle of friends with whom we could hang out regularly. Close friends that we have are scattered all over the place so it's not news to us that we see them once a year or sometimes even less frequently, but they're only a phone call or email away.

With regards to parents and families, well, we've both been living away from our parents since young age, JTL at 18 and myself at 14. So again it's not much different now.

If we had been living in one place continuously and had lots of close friends in one place, I don't think I would settle here well at all. In fact I probably wouldn't have considered moving.

Mrs JTL

Exile

I think a big part of it can be luck. For example, if you move here and get burgled within the first few weeks, it can have a massive impact.

Also, I think it can depend on what you want to do here. If you're looking to slow things down and take it easy (or even retire), then it may make settling easier here. Many people who don't settle in seem to find that they aren't as ready for that laid-back life as they thought they were.

In some cases, people try to do things like set up a business, and find that the laid-back attitude of those around them starts to make life very difficult. My stress levels have been higher than ever during the last two years here in Perth. In short, if you want to be one of the relaxed masses, then it's fine. If you're depending on them to run a business, it can be the most frustrating place on the planet. No amount of positive "attitude" can change this.

I'm speaking as someone who has battled hard to settle here, and it could still go either way.

mark937

are you after a sympathy vote? all together now........ahhhhhhhhhhhh

JackTheLad

I know... abandoned by family, then by friends... ... See the Karma button?!

Mrs JTL

mark937

i've pressed it! we had the opposite prob in uk, lots of friends and family. lived in same village 33 yrs (all my life), all the family lived close by (that was part of the reason we left the country). We ended up feeling suffocated by it all! Wouldn't say they were close friends. We have a handful that we'd see reguarly, others were work colleagues etc but i was still sorry to say goodbye and i definately miss them. nice thing about good mates tho - they come out to visit!

chips n ale

Hi
Sorry for dropping in on your thread, and agree with most, dont move to Aus, with any preconceptions, just come with an open mind and deal with one step at a time. Try to tackle things as they occur, then when thats over tackle the next step. We have been here only four months and fetching a 18 year old and 9 year old has not been easy, but everyday is different and we try as a family to stick together and tackle things together.
Just wanted to drop a line to mand8002 and say hello, renting in Alex hills and noticed you are close by, wondered if you are going to meet next Saturday at Thornlands?