why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
May 6th 2011, 11:52 am
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: PK,WA
Posts: 315
why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
We are moving to Perth in September and although devastated that we are leaving them our families are both being very supportive about our move, however when I have mentioned to other people we are leaving I keep getting told "oh I could never leave my mum behind" or "thats awful taking their grandchildren away from them". Had been feeling really positive about this but now peoples reaction has made me feel really guilty.
Celia
Celia
May 6th 2011, 12:18 pm
#2
not sure...
Joined: May 2007
Location: out in the boonies
Posts: 1,537
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
Screw other people! Honestly, most people have an agenda behind comments they make so let them off. You've made your own decision based on YOUR life and YOUR circumstances. If your own families are being supportive then that's great and you can tell the next person who makes a negative comment that they're all behind you.
Good luck and try not to stress
T
Good luck and try not to stress
T
May 6th 2011, 1:50 pm
#3
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
We are moving to Perth in September and although devastated that we are leaving them our families are both being very supportive about our move, however when I have mentioned to other people we are leaving I keep getting told "oh I could never leave my mum behind" or "thats awful taking their grandchildren away from them". Had been feeling really positive about this but now peoples reaction has made me feel really guilty.
Celia
Celia
May 6th 2011, 2:54 pm
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Was Preston, Now Sydney :)
Posts: 399
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
I have been lucky in that our friends are all fairly supportive once they realise that our families are behind us. Most of them ask the question about how our families have reacted though.
You will porbably find they are jealous that you have the opportunity to do something they havent. And when they start dont forget to tell them that even though you arent going to be in the same country as parents, you will probably value them more and spend more time talking on the internet than you do currently. Internet is a wonderful thing, esp with packages like skype around.
You will porbably find they are jealous that you have the opportunity to do something they havent. And when they start dont forget to tell them that even though you arent going to be in the same country as parents, you will probably value them more and spend more time talking on the internet than you do currently. Internet is a wonderful thing, esp with packages like skype around.
May 6th 2011, 3:49 pm
#5
Victorian Evangelist
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Melbourne, by the beach, living the dream.
Posts: 7,704
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
May 6th 2011, 3:50 pm
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
Hard at the time whilst they do it to you, you'll be surprised what 12,000 miles does.... These will probably be the very people you never see or hear from again...
So dont let them phase you
So dont let them phase you
May 6th 2011, 8:59 pm
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
Yes you have to be rather selfish (in the nicest possible way) and very self sufficient to be a successful migrant. They cant make you feel guilty, that's all your own work.
May 7th 2011, 8:20 am
#8
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: PK,WA
Posts: 315
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
Thanks so much for all the replies, you are right, I shouldnt have let people make me feel guilty, our families are being supportive and we will keep in touch with skype etc and hopefully visits back to the UK so I am going to just ignore all the stupid comments from other people from now on, I am not naive and know it will be hard to do this but deep down I dont want to live to regret this opportunity if we dont take it.
Celia
Celia
May 7th 2011, 9:16 am
#9
Victorian Evangelist
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Melbourne, by the beach, living the dream.
Posts: 7,704
May 7th 2011, 8:33 pm
#10
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: PK,WA
Posts: 315
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
May 7th 2011, 10:29 pm
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,253
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
We are moving to Perth in September and although devastated that we are leaving them our families are both being very supportive about our move, however when I have mentioned to other people we are leaving I keep getting told "oh I could never leave my mum behind" or "thats awful taking their grandchildren away from them". Had been feeling really positive about this but now peoples reaction has made me feel really guilty.
Celia
Celia
I think it is sometimes difficult for people to grasp the changes you are willing to make in your life. Some people would like to do the same as you so are possibly a little envious and some people just couldn't imagine doing it full stop.
I remember posting a very similar post to yours on here a month or so back and someone commented when you tell people your plans on moving to Australia it makes them stand back and consider their life and they don't always like what they see, so they are negative towards you and your plans.
Hang in there it gets much better, I have been in Sydney just over a week now and am really startig to love it
I have to be honest and say though that the leaving thing at the airport is very very hard indeed and if I were to do it again I would do it differently. I wouldn't let so many come to see us off and I would have a more private goodbye.GOOD LUCK
May 8th 2011, 7:51 pm
#12
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: PK,WA
Posts: 315
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
I had a very similar experience at work when I told everyone I was leaving. I had many negative comments about our plans, some were rather hurting / personal and from people I consider close friends / worked with for a considerable period. Some people stopped talking to me during my final few weeks!
I think it is sometimes difficult for people to grasp the changes you are willing to make in your life. Some people would like to do the same as you so are possibly a little envious and some people just couldn't imagine doing it full stop.
I remember posting a very similar post to yours on here a month or so back and someone commented when you tell people your plans on moving to Australia it makes them stand back and consider their life and they don't always like what they see, so they are negative towards you and your plans.
Hang in there it gets much better, I have been in Sydney just over a week now and am really startig to love it I have to be honest and say though that the leaving thing at the airport is very very hard indeed and if I were to do it again I would do it differently. I wouldn't let so many come to see us off and I would have a more private goodbye.
GOOD LUCK
I think it is sometimes difficult for people to grasp the changes you are willing to make in your life. Some people would like to do the same as you so are possibly a little envious and some people just couldn't imagine doing it full stop.
I remember posting a very similar post to yours on here a month or so back and someone commented when you tell people your plans on moving to Australia it makes them stand back and consider their life and they don't always like what they see, so they are negative towards you and your plans.
Hang in there it gets much better, I have been in Sydney just over a week now and am really startig to love it
I have to be honest and say though that the leaving thing at the airport is very very hard indeed and if I were to do it again I would do it differently. I wouldn't let so many come to see us off and I would have a more private goodbye.GOOD LUCK
Celia
May 8th 2011, 8:24 pm
#13
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 22
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
Its the tall poppy syndrome. We don't like to think of anyone doing better than us so we have to be critical of what they do. One of the worst human failings (or is it just a British failing?)
May 8th 2011, 9:15 pm
#14
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
Good heavens no, Australia leads the world at chopping off tall poppies at the knees (unless they are sportspeople) so getting a bit of practice in before you leave UK is probably a good idea LOL
May 9th 2011, 12:03 am
#15
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 677
Re: why do people have to make you feel more quilty than you already do
We are moving to Perth in September and although devastated that we are leaving them our families are both being very supportive about our move, however when I have mentioned to other people we are leaving I keep getting told "oh I could never leave my mum behind" or "thats awful taking their grandchildren away from them". Had been feeling really positive about this but now peoples reaction has made me feel really guilty.
Celia
Celia
Cheers
LG