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What do OZ's think of Brits

What do OZ's think of Brits

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Old Jan 9th 2003, 4:38 am
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Default Re: What do OZ's think of Brits

This is for you PB - enjoy...

1. All Aussies think this is the best country on earth.
2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
4. If the bloke next to you is swearing like a wharfie, he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a warfie.
5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.
6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.
7. Industrial / household design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.
8. All our best heroes are losers.
9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and starts turning the sausages.
10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.
11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".
13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.
14. The wise Aussie chooses a partner who is attractive not only to themselves, but also to mosquitoes.
15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.
17. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.
18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.
19. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, they'll have catered for it).
20. If there is any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.
21. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everything you own.
22. You are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is quite acceptable, but don't sit. That's what backyards are for.
23. The tarred road ends just after the house of the local mayor.
24. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only be resolved by leaving the salad at home.
25. When on a country road, the neon sign advertising the motel's pool will always be slightly larger than the pool itself.
26. Aussie men are tough, but the women are tougher.
27. The chief test of manhood is one's ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.
28. Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction, most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that the call is "being made on my mobile".
29. There comes a time in every Australian's life when he/she realises that the Aerogard is worse than the flies.
30. And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one EVER says "cobber" to anyone ... EVER! They also don't have the bit about the true test for immigration to Australia. They give potential new Aussies the following test: Mow a sloping lawn (at least 20 degree angle) in a pair of thongs holding a VB while watching the cricket. If you can't pass that chances are you will never be able to pass yourself off as a true Aussie.

Last edited by madmancunian; Jan 9th 2003 at 4:40 am.
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Old Jan 9th 2003, 4:59 am
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Default Re: What do OZ's think of Brits

Originally posted by madmancunian
This is for you PB - enjoy...

1. All Aussies think this is the best country on earth.
2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
4. If the bloke next to you is swearing like a wharfie, he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a warfie.
5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.
6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.
7. Industrial / household design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.
8. All our best heroes are losers.
9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and starts turning the sausages.
10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.
11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".
13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.
14. The wise Aussie chooses a partner who is attractive not only to themselves, but also to mosquitoes.
15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.
17. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.
18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.
19. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, they'll have catered for it).
20. If there is any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.
21. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everything you own.
22. You are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is quite acceptable, but don't sit. That's what backyards are for.
23. The tarred road ends just after the house of the local mayor.
24. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only be resolved by leaving the salad at home.
25. When on a country road, the neon sign advertising the motel's pool will always be slightly larger than the pool itself.
26. Aussie men are tough, but the women are tougher.
27. The chief test of manhood is one's ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.
28. Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction, most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that the call is "being made on my mobile".
29. There comes a time in every Australian's life when he/she realises that the Aerogard is worse than the flies.
30. And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one EVER says "cobber" to anyone ... EVER! They also don't have the bit about the true test for immigration to Australia. They give potential new Aussies the following test: Mow a sloping lawn (at least 20 degree angle) in a pair of thongs holding a VB while watching the cricket. If you can't pass that chances are you will never be able to pass yourself off as a true Aussie.
Glad to see you back it was getting boring around here , the more banter the better by the the way I see our Air Craft Carriers off to the Gulf the Aussies are sending theirs as soon as some one gets the glue for the Airfix kit.



Last edited by pommie bastard; Jan 9th 2003 at 5:01 am.
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Old Jan 9th 2003, 6:23 am
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Default Re: What do OZ's think of Brits

Better drop them a note PB to avoid any large rocks sticking out of the sea - as they seem to leave a large hole in the side of the ship!

MM
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Old Jan 9th 2003, 7:09 am
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Default Re: What do OZ's think of Brits

Originally posted by madmancunian
Better drop them a note PB to avoid any large rocks sticking out of the sea - as they seem to leave a large hole in the side of the ship!

MM
So we do have an Air Craft Carriers now god forbid, was it an Aussie Sub very iffy when let lose?



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Old Jan 9th 2003, 9:04 am
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Default Re: What do OZ's think of Brits

Originally posted by pommie bastard
You think its any different in Australia , the in word here is Muti-culturalism even the Abbos get more in benefits than a white Australian.




I guess the grass is always greener and no one has it as bad as were you are because you see it easyer.

Multi-culturalism is fine but do you have to avoid walking around parts of your city at night, if your white you get attacked.
As my last post said some of the ethnics won't even speak English.
We have muslim holymen preaching openly about killing Christians.
We have gangs of Asia youths attacking old men because they walked down the wrong street.
The home office have just said they are not going to let anymore Jamacans into the counrty without visas as anything from two thousand a year go missing and don't return. We get hundreds a week and sometimes a night walking through the channel tunnel, if they are fleeing thier country why don't they stop in Europe? answer, because in Europe they get nothing, in England they get a house, a work permit, social security, some claim the dole work illegaly and send money back to thier homeland so uncle can build five and six bedroom houses the likes of only the rich can afford in England.

Thats it i've got myself all twisted up, I had best go and have a cup of tea and cool down abit.
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Old Jan 9th 2003, 1:41 pm
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Default Re: What do OZ's think of Brits

Originally posted by Whingin Pom
More than likely, you can seem to do what ever you want in Britain if you are from a war torn state and fleeing pericution.

I am a H.G.V mechanic and worked out on site servicing trucks. One day I was at a local site and about to work on a vehicle that travels to the continent each week, when a knife was pushed through the curtain of the trailer and two men jumped out, saw me, beat me to the ground and ran off. When the police picked them up they shouted assylem and got the red carpet treatment and I got nothing, not even an appology from anyone. I now work in a factory where the only risk to my life is the canteen food.

I don't mind people coming to Britain, but why can't they earn the right to live here, pay thier own way and embrace the way of life in Britain. They don't, they get given everthing, form thier own comunities and some will even refuse to speak English.
I (think) I know what you're sort of saying , and true... It's PC gone mad! What PB has also said in one of the above posts about Aus being no different to the UK in this respect is totally true! What Yesterday, or was it the day before the arrest of a religious leader here in Aus (he got arrested because he had no car insurance, not registered etc... he was pulled over by the police... he is now suing the police, saying something about manhandling... never mind he was breaking the law in the first place... can't touch some people they cry racist! which is what this religious leader is trying to do.


Seriously, Australia has the same, minority groups suing the police etc, how do I put this ??? ... basically, certain people are not mixing , not willing to abide by Australian laws (although they chose to come and live in Aus), Gang warfare in certain areas (gun crime /gang warfare)

Nobody wants to talk about this for fear of being called a racist. PC gone mad... but PB is talking the truth when he says it's the same/similar here in Aus as in Britain regarding this matter... Myself I think it's a bit worse here, but it maybe because even when l did live in Britain I was never in the so called "troubled" areas, Bradford etc. I've never seen violent/really bad racism against or by "foreigners" in the part of Britain which I came from.

Myself... I personally feel you abide by the laws of the land (if you live in Singapore , Malaysia your abide by their laws, if you live in Aus, Britain, france etc you abide by their laws etc) ... if you don't like it .. don't go there.

ahh .. I leave it at that... but basically I'm agreeing with you... I could have a good rant/talk about this subject, but won't because it will get heated( a lot of arguments on this forum)



cheers

Last edited by Ceri; Jan 9th 2003 at 3:22 pm.
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Old Jan 9th 2003, 10:04 pm
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Yeah dead right about PC gone mad. Though in Australia there is a far smaller percentage of ethnic minorities who get the PC treatment e.g. the Aboriginals (who are Aussies) anyway.

As for other nationalities, rightly or wrongly, it is far harder to get to Aus

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Old Jan 9th 2003, 10:38 pm
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Originally posted by 2thick
Yeah dead right about PC gone mad. Though in Australia there is a far smaller percentage of ethnic minorities who get the PC treatment e.g. the Aboriginals (who are Aussies) anyway.

As for other nationalities, rightly or wrongly, it is far harder to get to Aus

2thick

Wrong again its harder to get into Australia from Europe than Asian or the middle East , Keating wanted a more muti-cultural country and since then the number of Brits has been cut back and other races are allowed to get in a lot easier .
Those trying do do it on the fly would have had less problem if they had applied for a visa , the black races are still few on the ground but I am sure even that will change Australia is trying to do the same Thing as the UK failed at , they follow not lead .
You have no idea of the bull that goes on here in the name of muti-cultralism even Perth is becoming an Asian city walk around the town as many Asians about as Europeans quite a few Arabs too there are now 300,000 Muslims in Australia and more are bring in family all the time.
Sydney and Melbourne have getto areas where races do not mix ,this is no longer an all white country the 1960s saw the back of that keep dreaming Australia learns nothing it goes where others fail.




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Old Jan 9th 2003, 11:38 pm
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Originally posted by pommie bastard
Wrong again its harder to get into Australia from Europe than Asian or the middle East , Keating wanted a more muti-cultural country and since then the number of Brits has been cut back and other races are allowed to get in a lot easier .
Those trying do do it on the fly would have had less problem if they had applied for a visa , the black races are still few on the ground but I am sure even that will change Australia is trying to do the same Thing as the UK failed at , they follow not lead .
You have no idea of the bull that goes on here in the name of muti-cultralism even Perth is becoming an Asian city walk around the town as many Asians about as Europeans quite a few Arabs too there are now 300,000 Muslims in Australia and more are bring in family all the time.
Sydney and Melbourne have getto areas where races do not mix ,this is no longer an all white country the 1960s saw the back of that keep dreaming Australia learns nothing it goes where others fail.



Ah my little ray of sunshine!!

"Again" - when was the previous time? Another case of the world's largest Pot - > PB

I did not say that it was harder/easier to get into Australia from any particular geographical area. Politics aside, purely from a geographical perspective it is harder to get into Australia particularly illegally and we all know what happens to those illegals who do get caught. What the h*ll has Australia's immigration policy vis a vis multiculturalism got to do with following the UK's 'failed policy' as you put it??

UK multi-culturalism stems from entirely different drivers e.g. the fact that the UK was obliged to take in many Asians as a result of Idi Amin's brutal regime springs to mind for starters. Also the 'importation' of a few Jamaicans some time back. Subsequently the UK has merely become a softer and softer target. More recently one only has to compare Sangatte to the Tampa Crisis to see just how different the approaches are (moral judgements on this I will leave to wiser heads than mine)

Nobody ever said that Aus was an 'all-white' country but certainly successive governments until the +/- '70s vigorously pursued a 'white immigration policy'. It's no harder for Brits to get in here now than anybody else merely that Brits don't have a completely 'free ride' like they did years ago.

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Old Jan 9th 2003, 11:57 pm
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Today, almost one in four of Australia's 19 million people were born overseas. In 2001/2002 the number of arriving settlers by country of birth totalled 88,900 and they came from more than 150 countries. Most came from New Zealand (17.6 per cent), the United Kingdom (9.8 per cent), China (7.5 per cent) South Africa (6.4 per cent) India (5.7 per cent) and Indonesia (4.7 per cent).
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Old Jan 10th 2003, 12:59 am
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Originally posted by 2thick
Ah my little ray of sunshine!!

"Again" - when was the previous time? Another case of the world's largest Pot - > PB

I did not say that it was harder/easier to get into Australia from any particular geographical area. Politics aside, purely from a geographical perspective it is harder to get into Australia particularly illegally and we all know what happens to those illegals who do get caught. What the h*ll has Australia's immigration policy vis a vis multiculturalism got to do with following the UK's 'failed policy' as you put it??

UK multi-culturalism stems from entirely different drivers e.g. the fact that the UK was obliged to take in many Asians as a result of Idi Amin's brutal regime springs to mind for starters. Also the 'importation' of a few Jamaicans some time back. Subsequently the UK has merely become a softer and softer target. More recently one only has to compare Sangatte to the Tampa Crisis to see just how different the approaches are (moral judgements on this I will leave to wiser heads than mine)

Nobody ever said that Aus was an 'all-white' country but certainly successive governments until the +/- '70s vigorously pursued a 'white immigration policy'. It's no harder for Brits to get in here now than anybody else merely that Brits don't have a completely 'free ride' like they did years ago.

2thick

The UK has always allowed refugees in but the numbers have now got out of hand , the old British Empire gave away passports to people of many nations some decided to make a new life in the Mother Country .
No county in the world can be Muit-Cultural so Goverments enforce laws to change people attitudes , this amounts to encourging the cultures of other races and discourging the local culture so people lose their feeling of belonging.
Australia was slow to follow this bull but is chatching up fast , pressure groups are gaining the upper hand, a Muslim Leader here was stopped and booked for motoring offences his defence is that the Police , who where attacted by other young Muslims are racialist and have no right to stop him even though his car had no Rego and he was breaking the law.
There are groups here just the same as the UK who use race to extort funds from the goverment a whole industry is being created, as I said seen all before its bollocks and it creates division, this country follows the same wrong paths as the UK .
As I said Australia is like watching a bad repeat program they learn nothing and come up with nothing new.

The Australian VIEW?


THE interests of a cohesive and singular society in Australia may I ask the editor to cease publishing letters from people promoting their religion? I speak, in the main, of Muslim people such as 17-year-old old Fahima Yusuf who told us in her first sentence she was Muslim (Letters, 7/1).

Well, I feel for you Fahima, but not only do I not give a damn about your religion or beliefs, I find it offensive that you and others take every opportunity to shove it in my face either through writing letters or wearing costumes.

Are you Australian? Do you care about this country and its culture? Would you give your life for Australia? These are important questions while your religion is irrelevant, unless, of course, you wish to remain apart from our society.

As for her support of female Islamic dress, I find Fahima's reasons rather pitiful. The only reasons for scarves and dress tents were climate and sand storms. Perhaps in a few years, when Fahima grows up, she will try to find her own answers rather than the twaddle she has ingested from uneducated, bigoted and racist old men.
BRYAN TRUE, Bayswater.





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Old Jan 10th 2003, 2:33 am
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Originally posted by 2thick
Yeah dead right about PC gone mad. Though in Australia there is a far smaller percentage of ethnic minorities who get the PC treatment e.g. the Aboriginals (who are Aussies) anyway.

As for other nationalities, rightly or wrongly, it is far harder to get to Aus

2thick
The abos as the aussies call them are treated like crap-they are a minority and the white aussies hates them0it wasn't long ago the thw asutralian Government supported the "white australian policy"-they still think that way now..
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Old Jan 10th 2003, 9:31 am
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Originally posted by pommie bastard
The UK has always allowed refugees in but the numbers have now got out of hand , the old British Empire gave away passports to people of many nations some decided to make a new life in the Mother Country .
No county in the world can be Muit-Cultural so Goverments enforce laws to change people attitudes , this amounts to encourging the cultures of other races and discourging the local culture so people lose their feeling of belonging.
Australia was slow to follow this bull but is chatching up fast , pressure groups are gaining the upper hand, a Muslim Leader here was stopped and booked for motoring offences his defence is that the Police , who where attacted by other young Muslims are racialist and have no right to stop him even though his car had no Rego and he was breaking the law.
There are groups here just the same as the UK who use race to extort funds from the goverment a whole industry is being created, as I said seen all before its bollocks and it creates division, this country follows the same wrong paths as the UK .
As I said Australia is like watching a bad repeat program they learn nothing and come up with nothing new.

The Australian VIEW?


THE interests of a cohesive and singular society in Australia may I ask the editor to cease publishing letters from people promoting their religion? I speak, in the main, of Muslim people such as 17-year-old old Fahima Yusuf who told us in her first sentence she was Muslim (Letters, 7/1).

Well, I feel for you Fahima, but not only do I not give a damn about your religion or beliefs, I find it offensive that you and others take every opportunity to shove it in my face either through writing letters or wearing costumes.

Are you Australian? Do you care about this country and its culture? Would you give your life for Australia? These are important questions while your religion is irrelevant, unless, of course, you wish to remain apart from our society.

As for her support of female Islamic dress, I find Fahima's reasons rather pitiful. The only reasons for scarves and dress tents were climate and sand storms. Perhaps in a few years, when Fahima grows up, she will try to find her own answers rather than the twaddle she has ingested from uneducated, bigoted and racist old men.
BRYAN TRUE, Bayswater.






Bang on mate.

Coventry city council found that lots of the illegals and refugees that they housed and fed and dressed and schooled and nursed free of charge, were also driving unsafe and illegal cars.
What did they do?
They spend £1500 on each leach to put them through a driving test and legalise thier cars.

As your post says, who gives a s*?t were your from, what colour you are, and who you worship, when in rome do as the romans do.
I think its about time that public servants and high ranking chiefs got a backbone and stand up to it.

No more now its too emotional
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Old Jan 10th 2003, 10:09 am
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Default Re: What do OZ's think of Brits

Originally posted by pommie bastard
So we do have an Air Craft Carriers now god forbid, was it an Aussie Sub very iffy when let lose?



Ahh pb there you go again,my aircraft carriers bigger than yours.I some how dont think the people of Australia would like to see there tax paying dollars going towards billion dollar aircraft carriers while there's slightly better things money can be spent on.And while your on the subject i think your over sized destroyer the arch royal which carrys 800 people would fit 4 times into the uss carl vinson which carrys 9000 people, a real aircraft carrier.
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Old Jan 10th 2003, 11:39 pm
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The good old USA certainly know how to build aircraft carriers. 97,000 tonnes of diplomacy !!!

US military budget larger than whole Australian economy ! And about to increase that by the whole of NZ economy and a bit more soon.

By the way front page of the newspapers here today Australia are going to war in Iraq and are sending all 1,500 of their forces.

I dont think I would be broadcasting that fact too loudly !



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Builder: Newport News Shipbuilding Co., Newport News, Va.
Power Plant: Two nuclear reactors, four shafts
Length, overall: 1,092 feet (332.85 meters)
Flight Deck Width: 252 feet (76.8 meters)
Beam: 134 feet (40.84 meters)
Displacement: Approx. 97,000 tons (98,556.67 metric tons) full load
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USS Nimitz (CVN 68), San Diego, Calif.
USS Dwight D. Eisenhower (CVN 69), Newport News, Va.
USS Carl Vinson (CVN 70), Bremerton, Wash.
USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71), Norfolk, Va.
USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72), Everett, Wash.
USS George Washington (CVN 73), Norfolk, Va.
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USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75), Norfolk, Va.
Ronald Reagan (CVN 76) (under construction)
George H.W. Bush (CVN 77) (under construction)
Crew: Ship's Company: 3,200 - Air Wing: 2,480
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