We've only been here 7 weeks but it feels like 7 months! My husband seems to be settling in and my kids love their school but I just don't get it! We live about 7 minutes away from the beach which my husband and kids love but i'm not a keen beach goer as I have a fear of water! I really miss my family and friends more than I could ever imagine. I havn't told anybody how i'm feeling but I really just don't want to be here. Its a lovely place and all that but I just want to go home, I know I havn't given it much chance really, i'm starting to wonder whether I really did want to take the plunge and actually move here in the first place. I've just found out that I am pregnant which probably isn't helping with my state of mind either. What do I do??!!

Its normal to miss family and friends but i think you need to give it a least six months. But talk to your hubby and let him no how your feeling. Being pregnant cant be easy especially when your away from your familly. We are moving to Aus in 18 months but im used to moving around due to my husband being in the forces. Ive often had to move away from familly and my sister just moved to new zealand. We've got a web cam and speak on skype regularly. Its difficult when you miss people but what about making plans for them to see you for a holiday or you to see them?

Try getting out and finding some positives if you dont like the beach try other activities with the familly away from the water or things you used to do in the UK

Hope things improve for you and good luck with the pregnancy!

Hi

Your hormones are all over the place anyway so i don't think this is helping your feelings. But like the other poster said talk to your husband about how you feel. You need someone to share this with.

Good luck and hang in there it will get easier

oooooo vik73. it is such a horrible feeling being homesick. the only advice anyone can offer you is this.

If you think you are doing enough to get out there and make friends

if you think you have done enough to try and put these feelings to the back of your mind

then you must talk to you hubby and he might be able to help you. homesickness is lonely enough without not talking to your nearsest and dearest.
give it time. don't be too hard on yourself and most importantly, allow yourself to be happy. when i was homesick i felt that i was being unfair to my old life if i enjoyed my new one. take it for what it is and try to get along being happy.

hope it gets better for you, if not we are all here to try to help


Louise

Homesickness can be hell and it can leave you feeling very depressed, especially when you simply can't get your mind around the negatives to see the positives. Its perfectly normal and telling your OH that you're finding it hard to settle in, may be the tonic that you need. Even if you make light of it, you need to unburden yourself.

Take up cooking new recipes, paint a room, plant some plants, anything to take your mind off how you feel right now and simultaneously make yourself at home.

Hope this helps but am sending you a hug as backup.

Best of luck.
Cheryl

Hi - really sorry to hear you feel like that. Your hormones will be all over the place and what you probably feel is a time for you to be feeling elated, you have so so much to do and lots of feelings that are all over the place, with the move and the pregnancy. Take time just to sit back and relax, you could try to enrol yourself on a few gentle swimming lessons or something just to get your confidence up, but whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over it. I am sure that in time you will be settled and fine. Just remember there are plenty on here who can help you through, don't bottle your feelings though, for the sake of yourself and your baby.
Good Luck and chin up x
sending big )) HUGS(( xx

I can't add anything to other people's excellent advice - but congratulations on your pregnancy and lots of ((((hugs)))), I hope things get better for you soon!

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that.

Hope things pick up for you soon.

I've been here 4 and a half months and am finding it really tough. I can see all the advantages for the family but sometimes want to scream WHAT ABOUT ME-- I WANT TO GO HOME!! I have promised DH (and myself to some extent) that I will give it 2 years but that just feels like a lifetime away at the moment. I think it's harder because we are so broke (I cant seem to find work) I cant see how we will afford to go back home even for a visit.

All that said, I think it is getting easier. I force myself to go out and meet people and to join groups I would never consider in the UK. I have met some people and friendships are slowly begining to evolve. (I have also had some Horrible experiences -- going to groups and being ignored, put down etc but I try not to take those personally and just put it down to experience) I speak to people everywhere in the hope it might develop into something (my new best friend is the man at our local post office!!!! and although it sounds silly I think the fact that he recognises me and talks to me makes me feel a little more part of the community -- how sad am I????)

I think I feel better today than I did a couple of weeks ago and that the bad days aren't quite as bad as they were.....So there is a glimmer of light at the end of that tunnel -- it just feels a long way off. It has helped talking to my husband. He thinks I mad (no change there) and doesn't understand why I feel like this but I'm the sort of person who just feels worse the more I bottle stuff up....

I hope things work out well for you. Congrats on the little person! I've heard that the mothers groups out here are great so maybe that will be a good way to meet people. Look after yourself and the bump and I really hope things improve for you soon...

shouldnt you tell your husband for starters

Rather than an internet forum of complete strangers. Sounds like good advice to me.

It may be a good idea to share these feelings with your OH, but give yourself some time to come to terms with all the major life changes you have experienced in such a short space of time-its enough to make most people feel that they are not in full control. When we are under stress familiar things are a source of comfort, at the moment you are lacking these, but you still have your OH.

I am a recent arrival here in the Sunshine Coast, although been in Oz 2yrs -didn't feel settled until recently. I too have husband and kids who loved being here immediately. Email me if you want to meet for coffee and a chat. Not sure where you are but I'm sure we can meet half way.

Congrats on your pregnancy.


Chin up chick, get your shoes on and go meet some people - down the coffee shop, at the park, sign up for a course at the local tech, do something for fun, make yourself feel good and do something for you. You need to make some friends, but it's hard at first, I feel for you. BUT, it's not impossible!!!
Take up all offers of coffee (decaf of course ) and accept all offers of anything... you can weed out the no hopers later on.

There's nothing to 'get'... It's either life here, or life there... the rest is up to you.


Good luck sweetie.

x

Wow...congratulations on the pregnancy first of. Secondly what you're feeling is PERFECTLY NORMAL.......You need to try and take it one day at a time then move onto a week, fortnight etc. Make a very small list each day (one or two things) and try and achieve them. Try to make it something that you didn't do in the UK....If it's a walk along the esplanade (avoiding the water!) or sitting having a cool drink outside in the Autum. Talk to friends and family and above all talk to your hubby. All else fails talk to us!

Cheers
Ginny

Thanks for all your advice. I know realistically I havn't given myself much time to adjust but this has always been my husbands dream not mine and I now know that i've just been kidding myself and that deep down I never thought it would actually happen, you know upping roots and moving to Oz!
I had a really good life in the uk and thats gonna be hard to top. I've told my husband how i'm feeling but he just got angry with me and said that I hadn't given it enough time, I know this is true and can't blame him for being angry, at the end of the day I am putting a whacking great black cloud over his dream. I don't know what'll be the outcome, i'll give it perhaps a year, then if I still want to go back then I will but I think it will be without my husband.