Ways to get accepted in Australia
Aug 31st 2005, 11:35 am
#1
Guest
Posts: n/a
Ways to get accepted in Australia
Thought we could all do with a laugh. Although I must say that it is intended as fun and not meant to upset anyone.
I have thought of a few ways to help migrants settle into the Lucky Country.
Do this with gusto and you will be sure, endear yourselves to the local people.
Feel free to add to the list.
1. Wear Union Jack T shirt and shorts, socks and sandals and walk around and say 'Our flag is better than yours'
2. Tell the locals that Lamingtons are illegal in the UK on grounds of being poisonous.
3. Order yourself a beer from the bar, take a sip and spit it out saying 'Shit thats too cold, don't you have a warm one?'
4. Make a big thing about not understanding the Aussie accent and say 'Can you say that in English?'
5. Try and talk like the Queen and insist that your local bar plays the National Anthem and then say 'I love ths song'.
6. Moan about absolutely everything, from the flies to the weather.
7. Go to the beach and when you see a surfer about to enter the sea, run up to him screaming and say 'You cant do that, its not safe!'
8. When you are invited to a barbie, as the host lights the barbie and throws the meat on, run up shouting hysterically and throw water over it shouting 'fire!'
9. Say you dont like koalas because they smell.
10. Ask several people several times a day, 'Do you know Madge from Neighbours?'
11. visit the Gold Coast and say 'Can i walk to the set of Home and Away?'
12. Move the safety flags on your local beach and swap them for purple ones.
Anyone got anything to add?
I have thought of a few ways to help migrants settle into the Lucky Country.
Do this with gusto and you will be sure, endear yourselves to the local people.
Feel free to add to the list.
1. Wear Union Jack T shirt and shorts, socks and sandals and walk around and say 'Our flag is better than yours'
2. Tell the locals that Lamingtons are illegal in the UK on grounds of being poisonous.
3. Order yourself a beer from the bar, take a sip and spit it out saying 'Shit thats too cold, don't you have a warm one?'
4. Make a big thing about not understanding the Aussie accent and say 'Can you say that in English?'
5. Try and talk like the Queen and insist that your local bar plays the National Anthem and then say 'I love ths song'.
6. Moan about absolutely everything, from the flies to the weather.
7. Go to the beach and when you see a surfer about to enter the sea, run up to him screaming and say 'You cant do that, its not safe!'
8. When you are invited to a barbie, as the host lights the barbie and throws the meat on, run up shouting hysterically and throw water over it shouting 'fire!'
9. Say you dont like koalas because they smell.
10. Ask several people several times a day, 'Do you know Madge from Neighbours?'
11. visit the Gold Coast and say 'Can i walk to the set of Home and Away?'
12. Move the safety flags on your local beach and swap them for purple ones.
Anyone got anything to add?
Aug 31st 2005, 11:39 am
#2
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Just one more, ask them if they know Kylie Minogue.
Aug 31st 2005, 11:44 am
#3
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,360
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Lmao! :d
Aug 31st 2005, 11:49 am
#4
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by bridiej
Lmao! :d
Go along to the beech and collect blue bottles, put them in a bucket and say 'I shall release them now for a blue bottle race' And then see the horror on peoples faces.
When you see people walking around in bare feet, shout 'thats disgusting, your feet are filthy'
By several large cats and ask your local national park if you can release them to keep the 'bastard parrot population down'.
Aug 31st 2005, 12:01 pm
#5
Happy Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: On a rollercoaster
Posts: 1,913
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Thought we could all do with a laugh. Although I must say that it is intended as fun and not meant to upset anyone.
I have thought of a few ways to help migrants settle into the Lucky Country.
Do this with gusto and you will be sure, endear yourselves to the local people.
Feel free to add to the list.
1. Wear Union Jack T shirt and shorts, socks and sandals and walk around and say 'Our flag is better than yours'
2. Tell the locals that Lamingtons are illegal in the UK on grounds of being poisonous.
3. Order yourself a beer from the bar, take a sip and spit it out saying 'Shit thats too cold, don't you have a warm one?'
4. Make a big thing about not understanding the Aussie accent and say 'Can you say that in English?'
5. Try and talk like the Queen and insist that your local bar plays the National Anthem and then say 'I love ths song'.
6. Moan about absolutely everything, from the flies to the weather.
7. Go to the beach and when you see a surfer about to enter the sea, run up to him screaming and say 'You cant do that, its not safe!'
8. When you are invited to a barbie, as the host lights the barbie and throws the meat on, run up shouting hysterically and throw water over it shouting 'fire!'
9. Say you dont like koalas because they smell.
10. Ask several people several times a day, 'Do you know Madge from Neighbours?'
11. visit the Gold Coast and say 'Can i walk to the set of Home and Away?'
12. Move the safety flags on your local beach and swap them for purple ones.
Anyone got anything to add?
I have thought of a few ways to help migrants settle into the Lucky Country.
Do this with gusto and you will be sure, endear yourselves to the local people.
Feel free to add to the list.
1. Wear Union Jack T shirt and shorts, socks and sandals and walk around and say 'Our flag is better than yours'
2. Tell the locals that Lamingtons are illegal in the UK on grounds of being poisonous.
3. Order yourself a beer from the bar, take a sip and spit it out saying 'Shit thats too cold, don't you have a warm one?'
4. Make a big thing about not understanding the Aussie accent and say 'Can you say that in English?'
5. Try and talk like the Queen and insist that your local bar plays the National Anthem and then say 'I love ths song'.
6. Moan about absolutely everything, from the flies to the weather.
7. Go to the beach and when you see a surfer about to enter the sea, run up to him screaming and say 'You cant do that, its not safe!'
8. When you are invited to a barbie, as the host lights the barbie and throws the meat on, run up shouting hysterically and throw water over it shouting 'fire!'
9. Say you dont like koalas because they smell.
10. Ask several people several times a day, 'Do you know Madge from Neighbours?'
11. visit the Gold Coast and say 'Can i walk to the set of Home and Away?'
12. Move the safety flags on your local beach and swap them for purple ones.
Anyone got anything to add?
Excellent lol
In between cooking bloody sausage rolls and sausages and looking forward to an afternoon spent with 25 screaming 4 year olds!!
All this on the hottest day of the year!!
Am thinking of somethin to add!
Kris xx
Aug 31st 2005, 12:02 pm
#6
Born to be wild....
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Northants to Brisbane.
Posts: 5,450
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
You are a fruit cake Sam 
Aug 31st 2005, 12:03 pm
#7
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by Brisben
You are a fruit cake Sam
Yes I know but you have to add something to my list.
Aug 31st 2005, 12:04 pm
#8
Australia's Doorman
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 11,056
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by kris maynard
Excellent lol
In between cooking bloody sausage rolls and sausages and looking forward to an afternoon spent with 25 screaming 4 year olds!!
All this on the hottest day of the year!!
Am thinking of somethin to add!
Kris xx
In between cooking bloody sausage rolls and sausages and looking forward to an afternoon spent with 25 screaming 4 year olds!!
All this on the hottest day of the year!!
Am thinking of somethin to add!
Kris xx
Aug 31st 2005, 12:07 pm
#9
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
I could really fancy some jelly and icecream and sausage rolls, fairy cakes.
Aug 31st 2005, 12:10 pm
#10
Born to be wild....
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Northants to Brisbane.
Posts: 5,450
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
I could really fancy some jelly and icecream and sausage rolls, fairy cakes.
I dunno, maybe wear some aboriginal tribal type markings on your face and say your ancestors were deported here years ago and that's how you got your VISA.
Aug 31st 2005, 12:12 pm
#11
Happy Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: On a rollercoaster
Posts: 1,913
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by Hutch
Birthday I take it! Had the same ordeal on Saturday for my four year old's party. Fortunately we booked 'em all into the soft play centre up the road - not one tantrum amongst 'em
Yep ,thats what ive done but still have to do the food!AaaaaHHH
Still thinking PP Ouch it hurts!!
Maybe after my shower i will come up with something!!
Kris x
Aug 31st 2005, 12:13 pm
#12
Australia's Doorman
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 11,056
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
But to the post...
14. Ask an old-timer if the Gallipoli you've been hearing so much about is a brand of shaving lotion.
15. Make out you're a member of Her Majesty's Commonwealth committee and you've arrived in the country to work out a new tax on Commonwealth territories to fund the next Commonwealth games.
16. Invite your neighbours round, but place prominent padlocks on everything and explain it by saying "Well, if it's in your genes ..."
17. Every time someone says "Good onya", say "Good on my what?"
18. Wash the car and then leave the hose running while you have a few tinnies.
14. Ask an old-timer if the Gallipoli you've been hearing so much about is a brand of shaving lotion.
15. Make out you're a member of Her Majesty's Commonwealth committee and you've arrived in the country to work out a new tax on Commonwealth territories to fund the next Commonwealth games.
16. Invite your neighbours round, but place prominent padlocks on everything and explain it by saying "Well, if it's in your genes ..."
17. Every time someone says "Good onya", say "Good on my what?"
18. Wash the car and then leave the hose running while you have a few tinnies.
Aug 31st 2005, 12:15 pm
#13
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 448
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Thought we could all do with a laugh. Although I must say that it is intended as fun and not meant to upset anyone.
I have thought of a few ways to help migrants settle into the Lucky Country.
Do this with gusto and you will be sure, endear yourselves to the local people.
Feel free to add to the list.
1. Wear Union Jack T shirt and shorts, socks and sandals and walk around and say 'Our flag is better than yours'
2. Tell the locals that Lamingtons are illegal in the UK on grounds of being poisonous.
3. Order yourself a beer from the bar, take a sip and spit it out saying 'Shit thats too cold, don't you have a warm one?'
4. Make a big thing about not understanding the Aussie accent and say 'Can you say that in English?'
5. Try and talk like the Queen and insist that your local bar plays the National Anthem and then say 'I love ths song'.
6. Moan about absolutely everything, from the flies to the weather.
7. Go to the beach and when you see a surfer about to enter the sea, run up to him screaming and say 'You cant do that, its not safe!'
8. When you are invited to a barbie, as the host lights the barbie and throws the meat on, run up shouting hysterically and throw water over it shouting 'fire!'
9. Say you dont like koalas because they smell.
10. Ask several people several times a day, 'Do you know Madge from Neighbours?'
11. visit the Gold Coast and say 'Can i walk to the set of Home and Away?'
12. Move the safety flags on your local beach and swap them for purple ones.
Anyone got anything to add?
I have thought of a few ways to help migrants settle into the Lucky Country.
Do this with gusto and you will be sure, endear yourselves to the local people.
Feel free to add to the list.
1. Wear Union Jack T shirt and shorts, socks and sandals and walk around and say 'Our flag is better than yours'
2. Tell the locals that Lamingtons are illegal in the UK on grounds of being poisonous.
3. Order yourself a beer from the bar, take a sip and spit it out saying 'Shit thats too cold, don't you have a warm one?'
4. Make a big thing about not understanding the Aussie accent and say 'Can you say that in English?'
5. Try and talk like the Queen and insist that your local bar plays the National Anthem and then say 'I love ths song'.
6. Moan about absolutely everything, from the flies to the weather.
7. Go to the beach and when you see a surfer about to enter the sea, run up to him screaming and say 'You cant do that, its not safe!'
8. When you are invited to a barbie, as the host lights the barbie and throws the meat on, run up shouting hysterically and throw water over it shouting 'fire!'
9. Say you dont like koalas because they smell.
10. Ask several people several times a day, 'Do you know Madge from Neighbours?'
11. visit the Gold Coast and say 'Can i walk to the set of Home and Away?'
12. Move the safety flags on your local beach and swap them for purple ones.
Anyone got anything to add?
14. Just arrive.
Aug 31st 2005, 12:15 pm
#14
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 236
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Go down the pub (hotel) with a bunch of Ozzies for drinks, but make sure you don't shout a round - let them buy - after all you as a Pom are their guest, right?
Aug 31st 2005, 12:16 pm
#15
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Ways to get accepted in Australia
Originally Posted by Hutch
But to the post...
14. Ask an old-timer if the Gallipoli you've been hearing so much about is a brand of shaving lotion.
15. Make out you're a member of Her Majesty's Commonwealth committee and you've arrived in the country to work out a new tax on Commonwealth territories to fund the next Commonwealth games.
16. Invite your neighbours round, but place prominent padlocks on everything and explain it by saying "Well, if it's in your genes ..."
17. Every time someone says "Good onya", say "Good on my what?"
18. Wash the car and then leave the hose running while you have a few tinnies.
14. Ask an old-timer if the Gallipoli you've been hearing so much about is a brand of shaving lotion.
15. Make out you're a member of Her Majesty's Commonwealth committee and you've arrived in the country to work out a new tax on Commonwealth territories to fund the next Commonwealth games.
16. Invite your neighbours round, but place prominent padlocks on everything and explain it by saying "Well, if it's in your genes ..."
17. Every time someone says "Good onya", say "Good on my what?"
18. Wash the car and then leave the hose running while you have a few tinnies.
Priceless