Dal3

hi all

its been a while since i have posted, the last time was when i needed advice on amount of luggage allowed for immigration and everyone on this site was really helpful.

Now i have been here just gone 4 weeks with my 9 year old son, hubby is in the process of selling the house in the UK and should be coming just after christmas.

Problem - i gave up a fab job, i mean really fab the best i have ever had great boss, good group of people to work with and career really taking off. i will confess i am one of these people who is passionate about jobs and really have to enjoy it to be happy.

Son - loves Oz and has settled in with no problems at all.

I have started working virtually when i landed. i am really finding it hard as the job of course is not like what i had in the uk, the people especially management are a completely different group of people i have come across, loads of politics and loads of games are being played.

I just want to go back as i am not enjoying it. Seeing my 9 year old has really settled i have decided not to go back but i am still finding it hard to enjoy myself here and feel for me it was the right move.

Has anyone gone through a similar thing? any advice on how i can move forward as i really try not to think about the uk but can't help thinking what a good career i gave up and how happy i was there.

its real difficult for me, i do have my sister here and we are currently living with her which has been great for me. I just want to be able to say in x weeks time i will feel better, but its more like i am just carrying on trying to accept what has happened.

sorry for the down in the dumps message but i am hoping for a pick me up magic!
thanks in anticipation
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acbh2

Hi there sorry to hear your finding it all a bit hard, if you can hold out until at least your hubby comes out you may find things easier! Your going through a big change and it must be hard without your other half.

I haven't experienced what you are but just wanted to send you a hug

Where in Oz are you?

Axx

Dal3

Hi
thanks for your e-mail;
I am South of Brisbane, living at Shailer Park working at Eight Miles Plains.

itsonlyme

just wanted to say Hi,

sorry to hear your feeling down at the moment. I cant really comment on how you will feel in the future as Im still in the UK.... the only thing I can comment on is the job aspect. If you returned to the UK would you be able to go back to your old job? I ask this because you mention about the politics and game playing that's going on.... I HATE my job because of this very reason... I can't wait for the day when I can hand in my notice... I think you are very lucky to have had a job you love....

what im trying to say is even if you did return to the UK your next job maybe just as bad..... can you not try for another job in Oz?

Good luck

Libby Fox

Hi

Sorry to hear you are not settling in. I know how you feel although my move was within the country itself.... 5 years ago I gave up a really good well paid job (worked there for over 12 years!) because my husband wanted to take early retirement and move up north. I was really depressed and cried a lot in private; I had to travel a long way to my new job so was practically out for 12 hours a day also there was a lot of bitching amongst the younger staff. The hour long bus journey home gave me too much time to think and depressed me even more. My husband is a very loving caring person and could see I wasn't happy, he suggested I leave the job and find another one.

That's exactly what I did, I gave weeks notice and was home for a about a month before I got this job which is just a short bus ride from home I get home while it's still daylight and get on with all the people in this company.

Try and find another job and I'm sure you will notice the difference. You spend 8 hours a day at work, if you're not happy there it can effect your life with your family.

Good luck!
x

marvinc

Probably just early days, everything new and no hubby there

Best wishes, maybe do some fun things with your little boy at the weekends to keep you focused

JenJen

Hi Dal

Really sorry to hear your struggling right now but it's really great that your son has settled in so quickly.

I've always thought it is rare to have a job that you really love let alone with colleagues you get on really well with so I do understand it must be very hard for you right now. You don't seem to phased at this moment by the fact your husband isn;t yet out there with you although this may be because your with your sister, maybe when he gets there he will provide soem emotional support for you to boost your confidence.

I don;t want to sound flippant here but you say you've been there a month which in my mind isn;t a very long time to settle into a new country or a new job for that matter. The other hard part is as you said your previous job here was so wonderful it's gonna be really hard to match that and I think if that's what your looking for then I think you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Give yourself x amount of months to settle into this job, your still relatively new to it and the people there, you may find things slot into place and don't seem as bad as they do now.
Or can I suggest that after a few months you look for another job, you've not said anything is tying you to this one and if you give it a reasonable amount of time and still aren't happy I think maybe you are right to look for something else.

The other things I was going to suggest although you may already be doing it, is try and make you rlife over there outside of work as fun and enjoyable as possible, you may find that this in itself makes life there more bearable for you, even if it shifts your focus from work to social/ family life.

As others have said it's a big life changing process you've gone through with all the stress of getting over there I htink you've done damn well to start work so soon but maybe that is part of the problem.

I'd dread to miserable when we move out there, so I can totally understand where you're coming from and hell time goes slow when we're unhappy but I hope you find a way of turning it round and I hope hubby and your family will do what they can to help you.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Jen

bridie

I just wanted to say give it time, 4 weeks isnt long, your emotions are all over the place which probably isnt helped if you OH is still in the UK

have a (((HUG)))

Nu-Shooz

I agree, 4 weeks is no time at all. Your hubby is not with you so you are bound to feel lonely. Even if your son is happy.
I think you are feeling anxiety, give it time, wait til your husband joins you, then see how you feel.
Starting a new job is like starting a new school...all new faces, not knowing anyone, out of your comfort zone.
Must admit, after 2 weeks of landing in OZ i hated everything about it, but that was my fault. Just wanted to go home. But even though i miss home still after 16 months, i'm glad i stuck it out. Good luck.

leew1019

$weeks is a very short time, so try setting some time line for improvments, and you will find as i have australians are not good at confrontation if you confront the ones giving you a hard time in a nice way but letting them know you won't stand for there crap and watch the back off try it you will be surprised as for politics that happens the world over so not much you can do about that apart from get another job hope this helps

Bernieboy

Dont let the b'stards get you down:curse:,deep breath chin up and tough it out,think of your lad and his future

off-to-melbourne

I have been here since New Year's Eve with my 3 children. Got married to an Aussie and, if it hadn't been for the children loving it here, would be back in the UK now.

I can't help with the career/ job issue as I was a childminder working from home before I arrived here and am helping self-employed DH out with his workload.

Even with the children so happy, I am struggling with things such as the appalling local educational standards - DD will be starting another school after the holiday.
I have seen children, allbeit not the sort I would want my children associating with, being abused verbally (accused in Kmart of shoplifting) and physically (being dragged through a local shopping centre by the owner of a $2 shop - suspect shoplifting was also involved). DH and I were only ones who tried to find out the reasons for the abuse. Funnily enough, the manager of Kmart was suddenly available, together with 6 other members of staff.

We have had to put up with my DH's ex stirring things up - trying to stop my sons joining the local scout group (we checked with his boys to make sure they did not mind first); my daughter has been stalked by a boy from his children's school who has been listening to his mother and the ex discussing us; we now have a court order banning her from denigrating us infront of their children or in public.
We are waiting to move, as far away as I can get us from this area, the ex decided she wanted the house once she knew we were getting married (divorce settlement had not finalised), we are still waiting, two months after a court conference during which she agreed on a settlement, for her to sign the necessary documents. I feel I am living from hour to hour, just waiting for something else to go wrong. My stress levels are so high it's a good job I do not have to have a medical now!

Sorry I can't be more positive but I know that nothing would be the same even if we moved back to the UK and took my husband with us..... I have to keep hoping that something will change and try to see the positive in our lives as they are. The children are so much happier and love having a "dad" around. For them I stay.

I hope things improve for you and that your husband is able to join you soon.

Not exactly what you wanted to hear, but it felt good to tell someone my own feelings.

Denise

worzel

It sounds like you need to change jobs not countries. It is a very common thing I think reading posts on here. I have a friend who went through 5 jobs in the first 12 months before he found something he liked.

somme

So Sorry you are finding it hard, as with everyone else 4 weeks is not long, but it is just a job, find another one if you are unhappy there. Like the UK there are going to be places you fit in and places you don't. Good luck, good to post on here to get it all off your chest

quoll

I agree that it sounds like a job change would be in order if you possibly can. Having recently quit a job which had become a toxic cesspool, I have found a new and wonderful work environment which suits me down to the ground. The political game playing is horrible especially if you find yourself in the middle of it.

On the other hand, if you can return to your status quo in UK what does your DH say about that? - would you still have your house and could you go back to your old job if you up sticks and moved right now? If you could do so then perhaps you would need to have serious words with the DH and see if that fits with his plans too.