I think you lot must have very strange families. My family, even if they ate at my house (well more than a couple of times) would either buy food or offer money, but for a meal out none of us would ever expect to not pay their share, unless one had made it clear, after a fight, that it was their treat.

I suppose we are quite lucky in that we moved 200 miles away from my family, so we alreay know what they are like to have visit just for a few days. I must say my husband is normally the worst behaved one. He sulks at not having his own space.

my mum & stepdad came out for the first time (and last me thinks) this time last year, it was a total disaster resulting in me & my stepdad not speaking since they left and me and my mum rarely speaking now

He nit picked at everything he could and after three weeks of it I couldn't hold my tongue anymore, they even went out and bought some tumbler style glasses because 'we didn't have suitable ones' for their orange juice that they had in the morning That of course was the orange juice that they had to have before the cup of tea, then the cereal followed by the toast (left to cool to the correct temperature of course) then finished with the filter coffee:curse: all served by.........me

please god if i get like that shoot me

Next time (if there is one) remind them to bring their own butler and chef, or they can check themselves into a hotel.

Happy holidays.

Mrs JTL

Got my MIL here for Xmas. Yesterday she got up at 11am and had breakfast, shortly followed by lunch. Then at dinner time, she was too full to eat more than a sandwich, Ok.... until midnight when I was flagging - after being up since 8am when she demanded a meal as she was hungry.

This morning she got up at 12.30pm!!! I refused to make her breakfast and made her wait an hour for lunch on the grounds that she had to fit in with everybody else. She didn't like it one bit. Teehee. (You notice she didn't try to get herself something.)

I told her she had to be up by 9am for breakfast tomorrow or she'd miss it...

God knows how you manage with someone like her for months on end???

we are having a wonderful christmas this year this happend to us last year.
link to post
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...hlight=marissa

Don't forget to allow for jet lag for the first few days, though. When I was in Canada earlier this month my schedule was off for the first 2 or 3 days while I adjusted. Mind you, though, I did get my own breakfast and lunch when I was hungry.

Hi Fly Away,

Was wondering how things were going!! Why not set an alarm clock outside of the room at 8.45am!!!

Unbloodybelievable.

Why does she expect you to get her food? That beggars belief!

Serve her up something really tasteless and tell her that is all you know how to cook.

I recently had a visitor to stay for three weeks. She was very generous financially but after the first fun week, things really started to slide downhill.

My main problem is that one night she sat at the dinner table with a bottle of wine beside her (up until then it had been a two or three glasses a night) and worked her way through it, this was repeated the next night and probably would have continued the following night if we hadn't run out of wine. I wasn't comfortable with this, I didn't want to sit around with someone who was pissed, whether she was being disagreeable or even if she was being more sociable.

She is coming again in April for 6 weeks. Is it reasonable to say this is my home and lay down a rule about how much drinking I'm comfortable with or is it unfair to ask someone who's on holiday to limit their drinking? Has anyone else had a similar conversation with their relatives? If I decide to tackle it I'm dreading it and I don't know where to start but I think I have to because I can't face 6 weeks of tension!!

Just been reading the previous thread on this topic from Xmas 2007, problem visitors seems to have been a problem for as long as there's been ex-pats ...I am thinking about printing all this off, highlighting any particularly relevent sections, putting it in a folder and leaving it in the guest room LOL!

i did think of leaving thread on screen and going out

or emailing a link to prospective visitors???

I found that with my visitors they were going to drink whether i did or not. So on their second visit I just got the minimum booze in (which probably lasted one night) and then they had to get it or there wasn't any! I also didn't drink with them - especially as I was up early for work (and I mean early - 5.30am starts!) then I just left them to it. I didn't like it one bit, but I wasn't going to keep them company, have a late night and a headache with a full days work ahead of me. Good luck with it though x

Of course it's perfectly reasonable to lay down the rules about drinking in your home. It's YOUR home, so you make the rules. If you are unsure where to start, send her an email saying you are looking forward to her visit in April, however have a few issues you would like to clear up before she arrives so there aren't any misunderstandings or hard feelings. Let her know that while you enjoy a drink or glass of wine with dinner you feel it's inappropriate for drinking to be more than a social thing once in a while. Especially since you have to get up very early for work. Let her know that her drinking was a problem for you last visit but you were unsure how to broach the subject.

To avoid temptation for her limit how much alcohol you keep in the house or put it in a locked cabinet out of sight.

I must say, you're very brave to have people come to stay for 6 weeks after a 3 week uncomfortable visit. I think 10 days to 2 weeks is about the maximum I could stand anyone in my house.

a) There is no way we would talk about it or lay down rules. Frankly it would seem vulgar, rude, prescriptive, pre-meditated all of the above even if delivered nicely. If we had to do that, then they would not be coming in the first place. We might sit then down if they were teens etc with known form - but see b)

b) I pick them up from the airport - give them the tourist spiel, en route - sit them down with a cup of tea when we arrive. We cook them a well deserved post-jetlag brekkie - breadfast - sorry Hevs - and then we apologise that we get up early and don't piss the night away. Our loss. It's easy anyhow - they can see we have young kids. More often or not they beat us to it and ask what time we/I get up. More often or not, they jump at the chance to come in to the city at sparrow's fart - and get a lift back too. From there, it's all obvious we are a working family but we'll skive off where we can as they are here.

We pay for everything including the slap up meal that night - we try to keep them awake to stave off jetlag. Then - second time around, their credit card comes out. We hold off and draw pistols. Third time around they insist. Fine. From then on in, it's alternate. Never had a problem.

I invite them to use the wireless internet - on the proviso if they find anything good they have to show me.

Won't hear a bad word said about MIL or FIL (etc etc). My MIL worked her ass off washing, ironing etc with the birth of both our kids, once for 3 months. I'd come home and she always had a broom in her hand and would not let me do anything for myself - and always had a meal or a pot of soup cooked. FIL walked 5k to the shops and back every morning to buy milk, bread and biccies (we both have a sweet tooth) and always paid for them.

Often we give them the car to take down to Philip Island as we are over the Penguins. This last time we all went down as my kids were due an 'ahh' animal moment.

Best visitors to date were a Chief Trauma surgeon (family) who was amazed at the hospitality of the surgeons at Melbourne's Alfred who cleared their social schedules to have us over during Melbourne Cup week(!) We got invites from their Chief Surgeon to do a tour off emergency and trauma. The credit card came out many a time.

Close second was an airline captain (family) - also not short of a penny or two. (We seem to choose our guests lol).

Again, only incident was him wanting a beer when we wanted to get away from a holiday spot quick with the kid - but I wanted one, too so couldn't blame him.

cheers