steved

Hi. My partner and I have made the decision to apply for permanent residency in Australia.

When we told my parents, they seemed to be fine about it. But now, after having thought about it, they say they don't want me to go.

They keep saying things like: "But we would never have the chance to get to know our grandkids" or "We feel like we'd be losing you" or "Can't you move to France instead if you want nicer weather?" or "You're making us feel very sad" or "We don't know what we'd do without you".

I desparately don't want to hurt my folks, but on the other hand, my partner and I (not to mention our kids when we have some) have our whole lives ahead of us and our hearts are set on moving there.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of problem. How did you deal with it??

Thanks so much!

s.

wmoore

Hi Steve. Welcome to the forum. You'll find loads of useful info on here.
I think most people's parents have something to say on the issue. See http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...hreadid=229201 and you will see you got off lightly!!
My mother-in-law was a little bit like that for about a week but she has come around a bit now and we can talk about it. She's still not completely happy about it but she knows that this move is what will make (keep) her daughter happy.
Just reassure them that it is what you need to do and that with the internet (webcams and so on) the world isn't such a big place anymore. We've bought both sets of parents computers with webcams on and got them started already before we go.

Don

There's ultimately only one way to deal with it. Put you and your kids first. (Well, you can also try and be kind but firm with your folks.)

nanci

Hi Steve,

Like you we have had a very bumpy ride where our parents are concerned, but as time has gone on they have accepted we are both serious about our decision, and are going regardless of their comments.

Initially I thought they were being very unfair, but with the benefit of hindsight perhaps we were being a little unfair expecting them to accept our decision immediately. They need time to come to terms with a change they probably didn't expect at all.

Be firm, and give them time to become accustomed to your decision and hopefully there attitude will improve. Having said that, be prepared for the unexpected comment to be slipped into conversations every now and again.

You must live your lives for yourselves otherwise you will be saying what if... for the rest of your lives.

Good luck,

Nanci