Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Thankyou Jockstar and Paula- lots of wise words to be mulled over :)

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

I think I (we- thankfully husband and I are singing from the same hymn sheet on this one) have the benefit of having done the whole emigrating process already adn knowing what it feels like to just be unsettled somewhere. I know the doubt that can bring, but this is different. I am finding Australia so totally different to live in that to holiday in. I know that's a given but generally holidaying somewhere gives an angle, but not the whole picture but for me I don't recognise any of the pleasure I had in holidaying here in living here. This is very different to how I felt in NZ, which we left mainly because my mum moved over here and I want to go to uni. We've talked and talked to persuade ourselves giving it 2 years makes good financial and rational sense.

But what we come back to, time and again, is that neither of like living here and I don't think it's useful to dwell on why- it's fine for Australia to be utopia for some and repulsive to others, that's not about Australia but about everyone being different. Staying here is digging a deeper and deeper hole that neither of us want to be in. It'll be harder to leave in a year but I know we'll still want to, it'll be very hard to leave anytime after that due to my kids' schooling years and so with a deep sense of regret that it's not to be- we're going to chalk this one up to experience, call it "6 months in Oz" and head home to NZ. We know where we want to live in NZ, so that's no big deal- just one foot in front of the other to make it happen.

Thanks for your advice and wise words- feel free to say how totally nuts I am in the space below V V V V

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Follow your heart:heart:, good luck for the future.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Good luck, sounds like are already happier having made your decision.


Sam

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Like some people who return to the UK (for good or holiday) and this just signifies to them how much they prefer being/living in NZ/OZ etc - well this is exactly what you are going through now. You should be pleased that you know with clarity where you want to be. I think thats a good thing. Once you get back to NZ, I am sure you will continue with your lives with 100% conviction and commitment that you have done the right thing and I am sure you will flurish.

Ambivilence is no way to live.

Good luck.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Hi BB
We did the same as you, but we're into our 7th week here in Perth. I have to say I love it, but you never know what's around the corner.
We were in Wellington and it just wasn't right for us, although we did mak some fab friends through BE and had loads of get togethers or ust meetin the girls for coffee. I know I will do the same here.
I wish you and the family all the best in going home to NZ, always follow your heart and you will be happy.
Take care
Catkin

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

As has been said, it is really positive that you now know what you want in life; indecision really is a killer. It's also good that you are in agreement within the family. It can sometimes take a break from something to make you appreciate what you have, so it could be that this is what it's all been about in your life's rich tapestry. I cant 'see the point of dragging things out for the two years when you know in your heart of hearts that this isn't for you, so I would say that it's the right decision to move back.

Good luck
Lorraine

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

I think you have to give any place more than three months to find out what makes it tick. NZ and Oz may seem close when you are in the UK, but they are really very different places and experience in one doesn't really tell you much about the other.

I would say it may take you longer to get to know the Ozzies than the Kiwis, burt when you do it can be a great experience. Oz is a vast, beautiful country and there is a great difference in outlook between the different States. Have you been to WA? I love Perth and WA, and it has great coffee!

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

FWIW, I think you've made the right decision. It's pretty clear your heart isn't in it. I'm another one who knew very quickly oz was not for me and no amoun t of time changed that feeling.

Good luck and I hope everything works out back in NZ. :thumbup:

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

When we left Africa we went to NZ for eight years and I guess I was ok because I made friends whom I still have today. However my Mum hated it absolutely hated it so they moved to Perth as my uncle was emigrating to Perth with his family. Then years later Mum and Dad returned to live in NZ for a year they still did not like it and came back here.

Two of my best friends are New Zealanders and they live here and will not return to NZ.

I also have family in NZ my brother in law migrated in the sixties and they love living there.

Horses for courses I guess if we were all the same and liked the same things it would be a dull old world.

I do know though that money may assist but will not make us happy in the long run its where we belong and feel we belong that makes us happy.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Good for you. Even though we weren't 100% happy in NZ I really understand its pull.

Hope everything works out for you


Paula xxx

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Forgot to say - NZ is only accross the ditch, so you can enjoy visits/holidays to Aus regulary too (visa versa). - A bit different to travelling back and forwards to the UK.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Thanks for all your kind words- was all prepared for a thorough slating :D

Dh and I think there's no point delaying and we don't need visas or anything so it's just work to sort. Fingers crossed and tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree and all that and we'll be back home mid-August, which feels a huge relief. I think we've both been feeling this tightening knot with each passing week.

I want to stress though that it's not anything that's actually wrong with Australia- this is our fault; we were too rash when we needed to move in NZ and just didn't stop to consider how far we'd come along the 'belonging' road in NZ, we also didn't think hard enough about the sorts of people we are and the lifestyle differences on offer between the two countries. My 6 year old, who doesn't yet know our plans, told us this morning that she thinks NZ is best for us to live because it comforts her ( :wub: ) and Australia is great for a holiday (for us obviously- I know for most it's the other way round). Perhaps we should have sought her wisdom when we chose :D

Also for those that say three months isn't long enough- I've always agreed with that and thought people foolish to say they know and pack up after three months, but now I realise it is possible to know, although I accept we didn't have 'culture shock' or Southern Hemisphere shock or miles from family reality checks to muddy the waters, having done all that two years ago!!!

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Dear BB,

Good luck with the move this time. Really hope it all goes well so that your family can settle back in to NZ life quickly.
Where do you plan to go to this time?

Best wishes.