Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Although we've been away from UK for 27 months. I miss people from the UK but not really the place- well, not enough to be a deal breaker I suppose.

Anyway, I'm being 'positive', keeping busy, making plans and so on but if I'm honest right from day 1 'something' niggled and wasn't right. I loved living in NZ but struggled with the practicalities of where we had chosen and the choices we made. Culturally we felt we 'fitted', as did our kids. If I'm very honest I can only see a few real gains from living in Oz- money being one, although we'll struggle wherever we live until I get trained. The main one that drove us here over another area in NZ was that my mother lives here but actually she's got a new job and is moving to Sydney.

I've always had a love affair with Australia- love the colours and smell, wildlife and the ocean- but I'm beginning to seriously doubt the wisdom of the choice we've made. Dh actually doesn't like it here but he's a 'make-doer' and would just stay because we're here and moved twice already. He'll keep busy with work and sea swimming and biking and music and repress his feelings quite successfully. My kids are incredible- positive and getting involved but both have told me several times in this holiday that they want to go home now, ie NZ, that they really don't feel they belong here, although there's heaps they like. I'm concerned- dd1 is 11 and off to high school in 2010 and I'm going to uni (hopefully) and I really can't face moving her during high school years- just looks so hard to me.

Ah!

Certainly helped to type it all out, if you've got this far- thanks for listening! :)

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

You've been away from the UK the same amount of time as us, although we've spent all that time here in Aus. It's a long old road to feel settled somewhere, to learn the ropes, the customs, the bureaucracy, of a new country, I don't know how you had the energy to do it again after 2 years, effectively back to square one. You must remember from your first 6-12 months in NZ the frustrations and challenges of this new environment. I take my hat off to you for having the balls to give it another go!:)

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Nicely put

Can't offer you any great pearls of wisdom, we have only done the move once to Tasmania last year and that was hard enough!

We sometimes feel like fish out of water here and if I think of still being here in 5 years time it makes me feel panicky but I'm trying to just take it month by month and while we are getting to explore and enjoy our new conutry and try diiferent things, it feels like there is a purpose to being here.

Sam

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Have sent you an instant message. :)

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

That's how I felt in NZ- feels different here somehow. I think it's instinct but then I don't know if I should trust that or if it will fade.

Indeed- I've replied :)

Thanks Rosscov too for your kind words :)

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

I really believe the get out before you get in too deep mantra.

if after a REASONABLE amount of time and a really good look around at different AREAS you really dont like it, go.

Its not for everyone, a lot of australia is much over rated, climate for eg:eek:

If you have kids its very easy to get stuck once the high school years start:eek: Then the uni years then the kids now have a relationsihip years.... Longer you stay harder it is to get back out.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

I believe most Brits move to entirely inappropriate areas in Australia. It's as if they move to the most isolated areas of Australia or those most different than the U.K. The culture/isolation shock is to much and they struggle. australia a a huge diverse country which most Australians let alone Brits never to get to see or experience. Better to move initially to areas similar to the U.K, and there are many, and then later move somewhere else less 'British' like. My 2c fwiw...

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Saying it twice doesn't make it any more valid.:sneaky:

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

You didn't read my post; I haven't got culture shock- trust me, anyone that moves from NZ will know I speak the truth when I say that after two years in NZ you don't suffer a culture shock from the UK.

And that's a bit of a silly post really because most expats head to the major cities not to the most isolated bits of Oz.

But hey, thanks for your concern :sneaky:

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

We spent 4 years in NZ and preferred NZ to the UK - we certainly didn't want to go back there but NZ wasn't right for us either.

We had taken up hobbies like fishing and camping and lived for the NZ summers (well about 6-8 months of the year) but just didnt like the winters in NZ (the other 4-6 months), wrapped up to watch the telly, stuck indoors with electric heaters on all over the place.

We are as happy as larry in Aus - we love it. We havent felt 'unsettled' since we arrived 6 months ago and definitely feel like were here to stay, planning the future and retirement! We got over all the 'unsettled' bit a couple of years ago and that does take time.

I would have to agree that moving to Aus from NZ is definitely NOT a culture shock - its like making a sideways move in the most part which is one of the reasons why the move has been such an easy transition for us.

We have friends in a similar situation as you, who are struggling here in Aus and are even thinking/looking at returning to NZ, so its obviously not to everyones liking.

It depends what your personal pros and cons are. We definitely have added more pros to our list since making the move and that really does help with the settling part.

I am sure you will eventually come to the right decision for whats best for you and your family - good luck with it all.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Apologies for double post, no idea how it happened. Computers eh?

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Thanks spellbound- good to hear from others that have come the long way round, lol!

Jad n rich- thanks for your honest opinion.

I'm not sure, I don't think I can make a go of it here- I'm just not enamoured enough with the beach or sunshine, although I LOVE the wildlife. Off to Sydney for the weekend, not to consider moving there, just to do some nice stuff and get a bit of space. Is it too early to say? Not sure, dh wasn't keen from the start and I fear all his original objections are proving founded :unsure:

BTW, this is nothing against Australia per se- this is about finding what *we* want from leaving our home country.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

We too came the long way round.
For us the difference is we never felt like we fitted in NZ. Although being there for 5yrs we still felt very out of place, and we all encountered quite a lot of prejudice.
We all love it here in Oz, been here nearly 1 1/2 years now. Have not had one bit of prejudice, plenty of pom comments but none served with the bitter undercurrent that was so obvious in NZ, all our oz mates are fab.
The differences I have noticed in the way we have settled this time is we initially tried the expat thing but soon found we had very little in common with most 'fresh' expats and had some rather unpleasant encounters. So we have tried our best to get oz mates which is a slower process but so very much more rewarding.
There was no culture shock at all coming from NZ, we both noted though that 1st time aroud (uk-nz) its all a big adventure and very exciting, but 2nd time around (nz-oz) its one big drag, all the moving, trying to settle, and being billy no mates. To the point that even though we knew NZ wasn't for us we did find ourselves missing it, and especially the few good friends we had, very much. Much more than we missed the UK.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to get across here in sharing. I suppose if anything that a 2nd move is very trying, hard work and evokes different emotions than the 1st move, but for us we have acknowledged that its not because we are not settling, its just because its a different move, to a different country and we are different people this time.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Paula

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

I remember you :)

The above advice I think is good.

Re: Unsettled @ 3 months
 

Our situation is similar in a way. Though not having moved from NZ to Oz. We moved from Sydney to the Gold Coast. It still doesnt feel 100% right. But we are getting there. Me more so than the wife. When we moved i had a job and we stayed with friends for a couple of weeks. We then got a rental. So far so good. But i then lose my job(long story ) so we were back to square one and not much money. The job was just about the main thing for moving. Luckily i got another job within a week. But the wife is finding it harder to get a job so is at home and thinking too much. We also left heaps of great friends that we miss . But as anyone knows it takes time to build up friendships. So we are still on that bottom rung of the ladder. I have started playing football and have started to meet people through this. But the sooner the wife gets a job the better. More for her sanity than anything else. But as much as Sydney was better on many levels. This is where we are now and thats where we will stay. The GC is not Sydney but it's growing on me. BYW i lived in NZ years ago for a year. Beautiful country but i couldn't live there long time. Great country to tavel. But boring to live and shit money, expensive etc. Good luck with what you deecide. But i say give Oz more time and try to stay positive. good luck.