gjs

If she asked if she could come and hasn't had to pay accomodation,food etc.then I think ,frankly she's taking the p***.
Still,could be worse.My inlaws arrived on our doorstep a week before Christmas.They had not told us they were coming.
So all ohs annual holiday,spent with them.


Second year in a row too...........next year we're going off in a motorhome!

pumpkin blossom

OMG gjs, I hate unexpected visitors. I was p'd off enough when parent in laws bought their grandson with them to stay without warning us (nothing against him, but I didn't have a bed ready, no child friendly food or things to do).


Does she drive? Maybe you could write a shopping list and ask her to go for you, not giving her any money.

We have only been here for 2 and a half months so no visitors yet, but I know from having my sister come and stay with us for two weeks in the UK, it was a NIGHTMARE.

My parents used to stay with us in the UK and I must say my Dad would generally be fixing everything we couldn't, my Mum would be wokring away in the garden, cooking things, off shopping, so I would have no problems with them coming here. They have already said they would probably fly into Melbourne and get a campervan to come to us in Adelaide, so I don't think they would be under our feet too much.
Hubbies Dad on the other hand is very unmotivated. Although he wouldn't be much trouble, he wouldn't get off his ass and do anything, and it wouldn't occur to him to pay for food if we were eating at home (but he would offer if we ate out).

This probably isn't so easy with kids, but I tend to keep my cuboards pretty empty, then if they want something they have to buy it (much to my sisters anoyance when she was staying with us).

I would also put a password on the computor.

Good luck and feel free to vent.

paddyo

God, you really do have a angry beef on today!!! One word.........decaf!!!!
lmao

paddyo

to the OP....just bloody tell her!!!! This is a gender thing..women will talk and moan about it but not say anything to the object of their pain,...men will resolve it!!!

linloo

Its great to hear other peoples nightmare stories Re. visitors I have been sneaking to my neighbor for a vent, but shes started to laugh a little bit to loud now!! My FIL has learnt how to switch on the WI now and that is all he does while my very lazy MIL is knitting a winter scarf! I have just had a call from OH to say they invited some other relatives (who also live in OZ)over to our house (These are relatives we dont like or trust, lots of problems when we first arrived) We made OH,s parents aware of how we felt, and said we would rather they didint come to our home, so they thought by not telling us it would save them the drive to see them, as MIL likes a nap in the afternoon and wouldnt get one if they went to see them I am so mad Dummy is out the cot.........

paddyo

IMHO all relatives should be shot!! so much bloody grief all in the name of 'family'!!! lol

talbot

Did you say your "friend?"

pompeyblonde

Oh god how bloody annoying! and what a bloody cheek!

I had a mate over for three weeks, and we had a great time, she did go to Melbourne for a few days in the middle, which helped, but thankfully she pulled her weight and always asked if help was needed!

My poor mum annoys me after a while, but only through silly little things, but when I was at work she cleaned my windows and got tea some days!!

Definately not on mate! even if she was a poor backpacker doesn't stop her doing the dishes or cooking, if you want to save the friendship Id have it out with her, otherwise you won't wantt to see her again!!

Fancy getting you to supply the grog! cheeky or what???
Good luck!!

Tracy24

OMG I know exactly how you feel!

When we lived in Europe we used to have the inlaws come out to visit (only twice), but christ that was enough. They used to get waited on hand and foot, leave a mess everywhere, and never help out with the grocery shopping!

I will say though if we went out to eat they would pick up the bill.

The final straw with them for me was when they switched off the plug to the chest freezer with all the christmas food in it - we are talking about £150 worth of food and it all defrosted! I was fuming and all FIL said was just put it back in and re freeze it! I then lost it and said no way can you refreeze defrosted food. They didn't even offer to replace the food that had been wasted and we had to fork out for it all! Not like they are hard up or anything whereas at the time we were broke! After that I ended up saying to them they had to clear up and pull their finger out as I'd had enough and this was our daily life and not a bloody hotel! Wow was I mad. Don't think they liked it at first but hey that wasn't my problem.

IMHO you need to sit down with your friend and say something along the lines of look it's lovely to have you hear but it would be nice if you paid your way. If she's a good friend she'll understand and if she's not tell her to pack her bags and go stay somewhere else! Honesty is always the best way forward because if you don't say something the next time she comes to visit you will end up saying no and she will pick up on the vibes and it will all come out how you don't want it to come out.

Good luck and be brave just say it to her.

Nick11

Ah Caz mate - that's horrible.
Don't know what to suggest - maybe go out and ask her to do a load of shopping and not offer to pay for it later.
She's taking advantage - tell her so.
Or failing that get Matt to do some ironing - that'll scare the hell out of her!
Nick
x

Vanessa

IMO this is not a friend. I don't know anyone who has treated us like this when they have came to stay. Some friends can be a pain at time but then so can I!!!!! I would tell her how you are feeling and if she truly is a friend she will understand.


We recently had my OH's parents here for a month and I loved it. As they are elderly I wanted them to just relax and enjoy it and asked them not to do anything around the house. It is much easier for me to do as I know where things go and how I want them. They understood this but took the dog out for a walk everyday and bought us dinner on most occasions we went out - in fact it was a fight to pay.

deryans

don't worry, we have all been through it, had the same thing a few years ago, mate (ex-mate) arrived from London, stayed on the couch, went on the piss all the time, did not appreciate a single thing we did for him, laughed at my 2 year old as she tried to put am Xmas pressie together - big Man could not even book tickets to Perth to have a look, so I did and paid for him to go.

worth it as my wife was about to divorce me on the basis that if he stayed another night she was off...........

I don't know what comes over people, maybe they just feel insecure or what,

Cheetah7

Ive been reading this and it's really wound me up.

How the hell can someone just fly all the way to Australia and pitch up on someones doorstep?

How can they have total disregard for someone, expect to eat for free and not contribute and blatantly flout the rules of a household and expect to be waited on hand and foot?

I swear on the life of my tonsils (and they died years ago) that if anyone but anyone turns up at my house they will be in for a shock.

But 'real' friends don't do that, or they at least shouldn't.

I will say the toilet is out of order and they have to crap in the garden and wipe their arse on the leaves.

I will tell them that we only eat 'Snappy Tom' cat food in our house, perhaps with some rice on a good day and that we only drink from the cat water bowl.

I will tell them that the roaches have equal rights to humans and under no circumstances must they be killed and are allowed to share our food - cat food don't forget.

I will tell them that the bed is for decorative purposes only and they must sleep on the floor with Mr PP and myself - no blankets because we like to pretend we can appreciate the cold like the homeless.

I will tell them that our pubic lice are part of being in Australia so please excuse the itching.

Failing the above, I will stick my head in the oven and gas myself.

Scarlett1

love your style

Dorothy

Rule Number 1 - The PC is off limits. Put a password on it.
Rule number 2 - No unannounced guests. When they turn up you politely tell them "oh, what a shame! We have made other plans and you won't be able to stay. There's a great hotel/B&B/backpackers not far from here. I could get you the phone number if you like."


I really hope that when we stay with friends they don't say these types of things about us when we're there. When our family goes anywhere we try to make ourselves as inconspicuous as possible so as not to annow our hosts. If any of our guests ever made me feel that I needed to vent to a neighbour or worse yet on an internet forum I would tell them how I feel. If they're good enough friends to stay in my home then the friendship can certainly survive a little honesty.