electricbaby27

HI
I feel really mean writing this but my friend from Uk is doing my head in. She arrived last week to stay with us and made it clear she was just happy to stay with us and not visit anywhere as she has been here previously.

I am finding it really hard having her around trying to please her and entertain my 2 kids too. She doesn't help with anything to do with meals just sits around reading MY newpaper while i chase my tail cooking washing and stuff. When we go out she has not offered to pay for her meals until the last two times where she has paid for some but not quite the cost of her meal. I have taken her to the bottle shop twice now and I have bought wine, with no offer of contribution from her yet she's quite happy to drink it!!!

So far we have done a few touristy things, vineyards etc, all arranged my me! We came back from Nelsons Bay this am, we were back by 10.30 as she didnot want to stay, I would have been happy to stay on the beach with my kids even though the weather is a bit windy. When we were going to Nelsons Bay she spent 2 hours packing her rather large suitcase ( for 2 nights) whilst I got mine, the kids and all the food for us packed up!

I am just not enjoying it, this is the 1st visitor we have had apart from my parents, and if this is what its like I don't want anymore!!! It is just disrupting our life and I feel like she is judging everything we do!!!!

Feel a bit better gor venting, OH is working away and feel other expats will understand. What am I doing wrong? does anyone else feel like this with visitors?

moneypenny20

The only thing you're doing wrong is doing anything for her at all. I'd pretend she's not there. She doesn't want to do anything then fine but you and your family get on and do what you normally do, go out and say you'll see her later. If you all go out for a meal, get the bill and tell her that her share is $xx. Seriously, you're busting a gut and she's not appreciative of anything so give your gut a rest.

tabby

Wow sounds a nightmare !!! TBH we have only had my parents stay with us and we have a very open family, were as we paid for the food in the house as they were visitors for 2 weeks and some wine/beer for the 1st few days ....when we went out we took it in turns at first to pay but we always seem to get the bigger bill so said to mum lets just split the bills so we did....on the cooking front we just said every once in a while for dad to chuck the meat on the barbie or mum to do the salad...

My advice is to make light at the time and say look I have a lot on fancy helping with the tea or looking after the kids as OH is away I am sure she will be willing to help ...

Other than that invest in a lot of drink

Martin

Bernieboy

Shit so thats where my ex ended up

gjs

If she is a good friend you should be able to be honest with her.
Why not ask her to do a bit of food shopping,get her to go herself then she'll have to pay.Next time you are all going out for a meal,ask her in advance if "this one's on her".
Just curious,but did you invite her,or was it her idea to come out?

Siren & Brian

Leave this thread open on the computer so she can "accidentally" read it. If she cant take that hint get a sledge hammer.

electricbaby27

Hi, she asked if she could come and we said yes of course, next time a friend wants to come we will have set some rules or something.

electricbaby27

She does just go on the pc without asking or us saying she can, which is another annoyance. I've signed out of expats to stop it coming on automatically in case she logs on from favorrites

Sheff_Sparky

We decided that we are not having anyone over. Simple as that. If they want to see us, fine but they can make their own arrangements.

Sounds harsh I know, but my parents were "taken the piss out of" when they lived abroard by friends and family and there isnt a hope in hells chance it's gonna happen to us.

If they cant be arsed to make the effort to see us while we are here, then why should we bother when we have moved?

steve`o

know exactly where your coming from and the rules things a must

rule one the fridge does not re-stock its self if you use it replace it
rule two ( fridge again ) we dont have a thats mine policy if its in there it will be eaten

electricbaby27

Thanks for the advise and sympathy. Gotta go now to take kids to footy training, reply more later.

linloo

I know just how you feel, Me and my OH dont know if to laugh or cry at the moment His parent are here for the whole month and are expected to be waited on hand and foot! We have hired them a car as we are both back in work and they go nowhere and do nothing! I have been coming home to all there breakfast dishes still on the worktop, piles of their washing etc etc.. They look at me like I have gone mad when I dont make dinner as soon as I am home from work and then pick fault in it!! His mum has started knitting as she says there isnt much else to do!!! The cheek We are both sick of suggesting things for them to do:curse: (best ones- lets go to the outstanding wine regions around here, reply Dont want to dont drink wine!! Lets take the dog for a walk on the beach - reply I dont like sand in my shoes!!) Then just to top it off everything is compared to Spain, where they go every year. Thank god for work! (words that dont come out of my mouth that often) hey ho 2 more weeks to go....

Peed_Off

Sound like my sister in law. Bloody sponging freeloader.

steve`o

what are you like
you could show some sympathy and perhaps make them paella
to make them at home

steve`o

your one angry lady today