Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

:D

Oh yeah, the stomach churning thing... that's still happening here. I'm eating more, not less! WAH!
First thing I'm gonna do is get me a bike for riding every morning down the fire trails. This process has turned me into a porker, not least with the 'goodbye' parties!!! :eek:

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

Is it not possible for you to arrange a short visit/day trip to see your mum in person and tell her. I don't know how far away she is from you.

I know my mum will be mad as hell when I tell her but i will do it in person, I think I owe her that much. Mind you its not something I am looking forward to.

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

Def. tell her before the gathering - it would be awful for her there. Do as another poster suggested re. your reasons for not saying ie the uncertainty of the visa process etc . AND good luck, it is very hard to break the news but it will be a relief to you all

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

No, I can't really visit her beforehand as it is a short flight away and we will be going there next week. But do you really think I definately should not tell her over the phone first then?

Thanks x

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

The only way I can tell her before is by phone, I'm just sure sure she could cope with that.

Thanks for your good wishes, I'm sure it will be a relief once its done.
x

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

How about planting the seed ie we have been thinking about it you may find shes not as bad as you think she may be especially if you dont see her from one year til the next anyway!!
At least you will have an idea of her reaction!!!

Just a thought

but good luck whatever way you go!!

kris xx

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

Perhaps you could get there a day earlier, or delay telling her until after the gathering and do it when you have some privacy? Good luck with whatever you decide to do, I know how you feel I am dreading telling mine.

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

I agree with most that say tell people early on.
We told a lot of people a year ago and if we get in and go then they will be used to the idea. A lot of close mates and others know about my plans and if we don`t get in I won`t feel an idiot because I tried as best I could (may have a medical issue but that will be the only stumbling block.
I only frown upon those that talk about things and never actually get off their arse and try -you are not a fool for trying and failing.

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

Whatever you say, even if it's early on, I think most have a hard time when the reality dawns.
For two years this has been theory, although everyone always knew it was on the cards because I'd married an Australian and we mentioned that we'd probably do it eventually.

For us, even, it's all been 'theory' until a couple of months ago, when the 'years' had turned into weeks and now 'days' ... It's still weird for us, and not quite real, but you can imagine how it feels for your relatives.

They can't truly imagine what they have no experience of (you not being around any more) and so it's going to be difficult no matter how you tell them and what you say.

In some respects, telling them months before the event probably makes little difference in the long run, apart from removing the surpise element of the situation.

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

You are probably right.
Its like knowing someone is going to die but the shock/ loss is no less (sorry to sound morbid). My Mum and Sisters have moved away before from me and it did hurt me so I had to deal with that.I am hardened to it myself now because after it happens a few times you have to be but I cannot speak for my family with regards to me leaving.
My main point was why some people do not tell purely because they feel an idiot if it does not work out - I don`t understand that way of thinking? :)

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

Could you not go and tell her in person? Would it be possible as a day trip or does she live at the other end of the country? I would definitely tell her in advance of everyone else simply out of respect. Plus I think it could help how she handles the news and also other things you have said about her circumstances of living alone and being unsure as to how she will feel. Good luck. :)

Edit - oops, now realise a visit isn't that possible. Like another poster, perhaps going a day earlier?

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

Hi, I feel for you.

We told family at the outset and OH's have not been happy about us going at all, BUT they are now coming to terms with it so I'm glad we did tell them.

How far away is your mum - -could you not set aside a day or two for a visit and tell her face to face - -then you haven't got to worry about her being on her own and you'll be with her when she thinks of things to ask that she might forget on the phone.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

xRachx

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

Thanks but the rest of family will be there a few days before we arrive anyway and I couldn't get away/change flights any earlier.

I think we have decided to not tell the complete truth yet :eek: We will just say its something we are thinking of doing - that way we can tell all the family at the same time and it is not such a 'dead cert' shock thing. It will start the ball rolling on a discussion on it at least.

Once the business has completed we can then say we have applied and make it more definite then.

BTW Halcyon 52 it is not about whether we will feel like idiots if we don't get the visa - that is not the issue here. Our reason for not telling the truth earlier is that it could affect the sale of our business - without a favourable sale it would make things a lot harder to move.

Thanks everyone for all your replies, I shall let you know the outcome :scared:

x

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

we told our families about 2 years ago and have only just started getting things together for hubbies TRA. All the family members, both his and mine were ok about it, my sister in law even bought us a gift at xmas that is for when we go and she gave me money for my birthday(to put in our savings).
my mom has lost both her short term and long term memory due to a stroke so she will have forgotten as soon as i'd told her.
The only person i held back from telling was my x partner as he is the father of my kids. I thought he would go ballistic when we finally told him our plans but to my suprise he has given us his blessing to take the kids. He has also agreed to write the letter for the home office giving his permission. I guess you can never tell how a person will react to the news, but in my opinion the sooner the better. ;)

Re: Time to tell the truth?
 

hi

re: telling the truth...

I think my mum would pay for my tickets..Im the only daughter as well..what does that say for our relationship...!!!

I hope all goes well for you and your family...

regards

lollyno1