cheri-pie

I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.

We have told no one of our plans to move to Australia but now things are getting difficult and I don't want to lie any more.

We have sold our business - things are going through lawyers etc.
We have sold our house - things are going through solicitors etc.
Still not got a CO yet though!

My mum, brothers and sister live all over the UK and we only all get together about once every year or two. However, there is a get together arranged in a couple of weeks and it seems to be the ideal time to tell everyone we are emigrating. I'm pretty sure they will all be pleased for us and wish us well but I just don't know how to say it. Should I take my mum aside and tell her first? I don't want to tell her over the phone but the next time we see her will be at the get together. I am so worried that if we tell them all together the shock would be too much for her and she would have no time to get used to idea first.

I don't really want to wait until we have completed on the sales and got our visa because that should only be a few months away and there would be no way of getting the family together then.

My only concern is for my mum. I have no idea how she will take it, she absolutely idolises the kids and we speak practically every day on the phone. I have had to make up so many lies as to why we are selling our house after spending the last five or six years making it our 'dream home'. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to her just because of our plans to move.

Someone please help me, what should I do and say?

iPom

I'm confused why you had to lie in the first place?

Now you've made things uncomfortable for yourselves because all these things are happening and no-one knows why!


Ring your mum, tell her immediately and say you didn't want to say anything until you were sure, but that you're going to Australia to give the kids a more outdoor life in the sun etc. Paint it that you're doing something good for them so that she doesn't accuse you of being selfish (sometimes the first reaction from an upset parent.)
Have a chat with her about it and then suggest you tell everyone at the family get together.

Hope that helps.

djfbug

I feel for you. I am gonna be in the same boat when/if I get my visa. We are going out for a reccie in July but told my mum its only for a holiday. She never thought about us emigrating until an uncle put it into her head
I suppose you have said i all in the threads title - Its time to come clean I'm afraid

seang

My question as well. I know people are worried incase their plans dont come to fruition. However time and time again the same posts appear where people are so far down the line and have found themselves in the same situation.
I can understand not telling work mates/ pals but family I cant understand. Not getting at the OP but maybe others starting out can learn. In saying that everyones different and have their own reasons.
Hope it works out though but expect some tears.

Andrew Cross

When you first start the emigration process you dont really want to tell the whole world anyway in case it all goes pear shaped and you end up looking like and idiot, then when things start moving along and it looks like you might be going you think - oh maybe i might mention it to so and so. I think we told my parents too early in hindsight and wish I'd left it a little longer, my mums initial reaction was to ignore it and every time i mentioned anything about it she changed the subject, it was only when i had the visa in the passport that i think she actually believed we were really going. If i was you though i think you are quite away down the line and looks like its really gonna happen then i think a phone call prior to the family get together might be a good idea then you can tell her that you didnt mention it earlier just in case things didnt happen and you didnt want to worry her unduly. All parents get upset its only natural, my husbands father wrote him a sh***y email about all the reasons why he shouldn't go and that he was totally selfish....just do what you feel to be right for 'your' family.......best wishes and good luck
Sue

iPom

I told our family when we started thinking of doing it, two years ago now! They've had plenty of time to get used to the idea, although my sister is still in denial....

seang

leave it a bit longer ....they will buy you the tickets to get rid of you

iPom

I'm sure they will!

kris maynard

yep we did too!! I think our whole families are in denial still


I would tell your mum before the get together !!

good Luck

kris xx

cheri-pie

We had to lie as OH insisted in case it made a difference to the sale of the business. I wanted to tell at least the family but he would not let me. It is all a bit more complicated because of the business.

The kids haven't been able to tell their friends or anyone either and my daughter has just got accepted into one of the best schools in the county and he still wont let us say anything! Life is just one big lie at the moment.

iPom

Well, time to come clean, my dear. Stress isn't good for you.

cheri-pie

Thanks, I'm just a bit scared telling her on the phone as she lives alone. I'm probably bit a bit dramatic but I just don't know what her reaction would be and I suppose I wanted to be there to give a hug and reassure her about everything until she settles down.

cheri-pie

Just another couple of months until completion

But hey, at least we have sold everything up <looking on the bright side>

iPom

That is good - we're a week from completion at the mo.

But a couple of months isn't much to get used to the idea so be brave and have a chat with your mum.

cheri-pie

Not long for you then

God, everytime I try to think about doing it my stomach churns
<looking on the bright side again, I might lose weight >