meelie

> Technology Help Line (You might recognize some of these but we won't say a
> thing!)
>
> Travel Centre
> Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through
to
> enquiries, can you help?".
> Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
> Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
> Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
>
> Samsung Electronics
> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
> need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
> before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
>
> RAC Motoring Services
> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling
> in Australia?"
> Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?
>
> Travel Agent
> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If
> I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the
> other side of the car?"
>
> Directory Enquiries
> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
> off".
>
> Woven
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
>
> Call centre
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
> told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
window
> to write the number on".
>
> Tech Support
> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
> Customer: "OK".
> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
> point?".
> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
> Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
> the 'OK' button displayed?"
> Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
> Tech Support 2
> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that
> I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file
back
> again?".
>
> This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
> from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say
> the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
> Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I
> know why they record these conversations!):
>
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
> away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared."
> Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
> type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
> it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
> power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
> into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were
> two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the
> other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
> back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"
> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
> it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming
> in from the window."
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
> Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came
> in?"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
> like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
> from."
> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too f ## king stupid to own a computer

ABCDiamond

I had a customer a few years ago, who coudn't get his computer going no matter what we advised on the phone.
I had even asked if the computer was plugged in !!

In the end I went round to them, had a quick look....... and.....

proceeded to switch the switch on the power point to the "on" position..

and give them a bill for $120

meelie

Mmmm I don't doubt it! I think some people are sadly lacking in the common sense department.