Sandra

I joined this forum a few years ago for various reasons when I was in the UK and needed help/advice/guidance/chat.

I am still here cause I get that help....and hope to give some back.

I have been here through the PB months and I think I know my own mind, this site has been a source of energy to me when feeling low etc

So now after 2.5 yrs here (Aus) I am finding mates I made on here (British Expats) now going back. I think they are right in their decisions because they are well thought out and as reasoned as coming here in the first place......

all the trauma and argument I put into my personal staying I put down on here, on this site, and it has helped me loads.

But damm it I am sad....they never posted after they got here, they never told you how hard they had it and why they are now going back....

Cause quite a few on this site want to hear the 'nice' things......and there are loads of nice things to be had I do agree....but a few find it hard and we should listen to those people too and respect the difficulties for people ...cause God forbid it might be us someday

Blossy

Nicely written

Bordy

I agree it can be very difficult settling here & many can't manage for one reason or another, whether it be lack of job or missing family etc etc.
Theres absolutely no shame in trying it & if it doesn't work out well hey you tried.
What bugs me though is the few who go back & then whinge about Aus being racist, backward etc etc.
Maybe I'm just lucky but Ive found it friendly, safer & we do have a better lifestyle here than we had in UK.

tiredwithtwins

you are right to say its sad that they dont post the 'what went wrong' - its unfortunate that people feel the need to argue and criticise these posts, when all you are doing is posting your experiences and your feelings. Ive been on here a year now, and gone through a hell of a lot in that time, from submitting forms, splitting up with hubby (its back on now!) cancelling plans to go.....and have had a lot of support from people on here. However, I also have had blazing rows with folks who feel the need to patronise/criticise etc - so I can honestly see why those going back dont want to post; why subject yourself to more trauma, and from mainly total strangers at that!!! I tend not to read/reply to many posts now....why bother when all that will happen is that some smart arse will take the moral high ground and give you a lecture on what they think you should be doing/saying etc.

hmmm...food for thought sandra.

sue

EricB - work

As one about to go to Aus regardless I would still be very interested to read why others find it is not for them. However if all it amounts to is the usual "PB - Australia is crap" then understandably I will view the offering with a certain distain. On the other hand if I get a comprehensive breakdown which demonstates what I and my family are likely to face, and perhaps even better - how to deal with it in a constructive manner then great.


What I read here is a suggestion that people a scared to post because they will be crucified for their for negativity. From what I have seen it is more likely that will happen if it is blatantly obvious the writer is doing his or best to sabotage dreams rather than reporting true and personal experience.

Sandra

Totally agree....in my good times here

I may not have replied to your individual posts.....but what....have I missed (YES I have) you are back on with the coming to Aus with hubby? I read but not post all the time....best of good wishes to you.

Good on you again...your decision..make it work for you

To Eric B

"On the other hand if I get a comprehensive breakdown which demonstates what I and my family are likely to face, and perhaps even better - how to deal with it in a constructive manner then great."

Very unlikely.....it is an emotional time.....this site supports those that are coming to Aus...and offers constructive advice about the things we might face etc......but once here there is little support for the "oh shit what have I done"

so very few people are going to give you a comphensive breakdown on how they did not cope with things or believe it or not Aus is not right for US....

On the other hand....how we cope with things.....loads of humour..read the top tips list for coming to Aus....I pee'd myself!

And before you all jump in with ....there is a going back to the UK forum....life is not black and white.....and the dithering ones might need to chat too before coming down on either side????

I am possibly losing two good mates after two years here. Good Mates- to clarify means knowing someone to talk to about oneself.

I came here at 37 and left the good mates I can really count on one hand back in the UK...I never thought I would find it that hard without them....but I do....now the ones I wished to get to know better might be going back???? Shit I am not hard done by but who makes close friends at 40?

At this rate.....big smilies I might come along to Sydney meet???? Cause I need more pommie mates

Seriously I am not down on any persons dream.....but I want to say - it is very hard work at times.

Cheers

EricB - work

I don't quite see how the "oh shit what have I done" quite fits into a 2.5 year time frame as you originally put forward. Surely There is more than time to view things in a retrospective light? My point was that ALL real honest first hand experience is worth reporting, - what no-one wants here is the dredged up half truths, dodgy quotes and Aus bashing that some go in for.

Don

That's not how it looks to me (a relatively independent onlooker, being NZ-focused rather than migrating to Aus).

Anybody who (say) gives a link to a negative but informative article from the Aus press is torn off a strip/ insulted (esp Kong!)

It's not as if the guy wrote the stuff himself.

EricB - work

Again my point. Give YOUR OWN stuff, DON'T make it look as though all you do dredge the internet, plagerise other stuff with the sole intent of knocking Australia and scaring the crap out of intending migrants. That is asking for a serious critisism.

What I have tried (and obviously failed) to do is show how someone can still be negative yet give info that will produce a positive response. No need for me to say any more.

Don

You have used language that indicates you have a bias against hearing negatives. Words like 'all you do', 'dredge', 'plagiarise', 'sole intent of knocking Aus', 'scaring the crap' are calculated to portray anyone giving an 'unwelcome' link, in a poor light.

Yet all you are really criticising is people who give fact-based links that put Aus in a less than positive frame.

Not wanting to see & hear the whole picture is a pretty big weakness - particularly when the negatives come from authoritative sources.

jad n rich

Sandra, my wife got us into this forum, she had 2 good friends who went back to the Uk earlier this year, she was quite depressed that such good mates were leaving, and one suggested she used this forum to maybe meet new Pom girl pals. However she got really peed off with the arguments anyone gets if they posted any downsides, at one stage it was like someone sat here all day just to fight off any negative posters and I dont think my wife was negative I think shes very realistic and honest about life here tho.

I got involved as I was disgusted that any negative threads were getting closed thought buggar it, I will have my say then, made me more determined really.

Anyway since then we know another 2 Pom familiys who intend moving back and we ourself are considering it, having lived in the UK before and weighing it all up.

I would describe myself as highly unpopular on here but I dont care, I am australian so I'll say what I bloody like, good or bad. But for those who pinned hopes dreams and family fortunes on coming here and go back it must be incredibly hard to post on here you are going back.

I know HEAPS go back, and I know every year 120,000 Australians also leave mainly young families and professionals, just the sort we need to stay. But by reading this forum you'd think people were applying for a passport to heaven not Australia the way some carry on and they get very rude if someone posts otherwise.

kong

Lets shoot the messenger hey? What happened to the good old days when realistic.. sorry "negative" threads were closed by the mods.

moneypenny20

I may be wrong but I think what EricB is getting at is we all know Aus is not Utopia. For those of us wanting to get there, we need to hear the good and bad things that those who have gone before have faced. Unfortunately, when for example Kong cuts and pastes ones of his very very longwinded articles, I personally have no idea what publication it has come from or how up to date it is. It could be the Aussie version of the Daily Mail Some posters also word things in such a way that they are saying "we have been, it is crap, no one else try it". I want to know first hand experience about why it is crap for them, why they want to come back etc but a blanket CRAP does no one any favours. It just puts peoples backs up and a bloody silly pointless row starts.

jad n rich

Eric, Kongs dodgy quotes, half truths and aus bashing, came from Australian newspapers, reports, media, and australian statistics.

Nothing he wrote I hadnt seen by reading a newspaper here. As I said before look at Kong as your Aus news correspondent

kong

I do try my best to stop the flow of pounds sterling to DIMIA, the risk of familly breakdowns once the myth of Oz has turned to dust. I get insults and slander, yet all I do is quote (mainly Aussiie) media about the darkside of Australia.

I can take all the crap that gets thrown at me, rather amusing to see the "Aussie witnesses" get their knickers in a twist because they have read some proper news stories, not some half baked thread from a punter who has only been in Oz 2 mins going on about how coles is better than Tescos!!

I mean how drunk on your new country can you be to come out with crap like that??

Maybe Jad they will listen to you more as you are an Aussie (who can knock his own country) They should be thankful to have first hand stories from such a rare breed!! No offence mate, but you must know what I mean!!