Helen-17

Well, I have been in Australia for 3 Years in Feb.
I do not want to discourage, but I want to share my tale. I am very close to my family, and was always hesitant about moving as I knew the idea of living away from them terrified me. I still so clearly remember talking to my husband. I had lost an Aunt to cancer, and remember how hard it was on her family while she was ill. I asked him how I could possibly manage if that happened to my family while I was over in Aus. My husband said you can't live your life in fear, which is true. Anyway, my husband got a dream transfer, so we moved.
At the end of last year, my worst fears were realized when my Mum was diagnosed with cancer. The last meeting with the doctor was positive, and if treatment continues as the doctor predicts, Mum is on the road to recovery.
My point, before you race over for the Aussie dream, just take a breath and think. It is not pleasant, and you can't live your life in fear. However, I would suggest you discuss what you would do in the event of a crisis. We are lucky. My husband has a good job and we are comfortable financially. I was able to dash back even though I had only been over for a holiday in September. There are no children to worry about.
I am not saying do not come, there are many good things. I am just saying have some tough thoughts and conversations before you do

wilf70

Very wish advice--but sadly all to often ignored.

paulry

Very valid and sobering points.

I hope your mum has a rapid and full recovery

Kapri

Good advice.

When we get to Aus we want to keep enough in a savings account for emergency flights back to the UK if needed.


Wishing your Mum a speedy recovery

PoppetUK

Sorry to hear about your Mum.

I lost my Dad to cancer 10 years ago. We were in Australia for the past 3 years and my mum was in UK on her own. To be honest she used to drive me crazy so I would never have described us as close!

I couldn't live with the grief (yes grief) I felt for living in a different country to my family (who I am not that close to). It was horrible. It didn't help that hubby and I had a few bad knocks with ill health whilst we were in Australia.

Once, I recall this gentleman coming out to quote on something or other, he was talking about how he'd been in Aus for 20 years and now had grown up children and couldn't return to UK. The bit that surprised me was that grief look written all over his face so many years on. I have since come across others talking about those feelings and I knew it would be me if I stayed as at times it bubbled to the surface.

I guess what I am saying grief can be felt even if you haven't lost someone.

I know this isn't the same for everyone put you can not predict how you are going to feel!!!!

Good luck y'all....

Red_V_Roger

Lost my mum to cancer 12 months before we came and my dad was terminally ill with cancer when we left for Oz...dead 9 months later.

You only get one chance in this life. That's what my dad knew and so bravely let us go and live our life despite knowing it would be the last time he would see us.

Jon77

Some great advice in this thread.

One thing I will say as a parent though is that children, especially young children, are always more adaptable than you think and often handle change much better than adults can! That is my experience any way.

The original poster mentions not having children to worry about, and you do worry about them in some circumstances, but you learn to cope just like everything else in your life.

I have often heard people / friends say something like ' well at least we don't have kids to worry about' when they are in a certain situation. If you have kids you just get on with it and manage as best you can.

I have had many challenges in my life that have involved leaving family behind and cancer, my Mother had cancer whilst I was in Australia. I find the love I give and receive from my son a great comfort to me and although being a parent can be challenging I am thankful for every second I get to spend with my 3 year old son and this means a million times more to me than anything else in life, including money.

PoppetUK

Reminds us what is important. My frustrating weekend with children just not listening is put into context. I'm sorry to hear all the sad posts.

Hugs and good memories to you all x

Pomster

I am sure the closer you are to family, the harder you find it to settle.

Mr P has no family left, and my family are quite scattered, so we are not constantly around one another's houses. We are back after 10 years in Aus- for a year- and have probably seen less than we do on a 3 week holiday. We have seen far more of friends though!

Bereavement from overseas is hard. Mr P lost his father and that was tough, but it would have been no matter where we were located.

Wendy

Sorry to hear about your Mum, hope she makes a full recovery. I lost both my parents to Cancer, so know just how horrible a disease it is

moneypenny20

We had that, several months of the husband being out of work, meant that we had to bring that money over, out of debt but no emergency fund. Such is life.

Vash the Stampede

Good advice.

I lost both of my grandparents within 9 months of each other while I was living in the UK. There was time to fly home to Australia and see them before they went, even if I'd been able to afford it.

Kapri

Yep, best laid plans and all that. I expect it would start to look tempting as extra deposit for buying a house even if we did manage to retain it

hilasbat

Hear hear!

pink13

Have to say i am with this post, I have left my whole life behind to be with my husband who had already lived in Australia for 13yrs, so was settled,
I have been here for 5 months and have had to go through my Daughter having a rough time, my nephew having pneunomia, my sister chopping her finger off!!! my best friend having a baby and they had to go through watching on the news in the UK me going through a Cyclone..........
Its life wherever you are its hard at times and you have to deal with what it gives you,
My mum gave me some very wise words and we are close. She told me that if she were to die while i am here i am not to waste money on flying back to watch her being put in the ground, i am to remember all the good times we had and put the money aside to fly over for a happier event and then have a drink for her........
will i do that when the time comes!!!! who knows but i will think long and hard before i do anything.
We are 24hrs away its not forever like it used to be years ago...
If you never try you never know and if you do and it doesn't work out then you go back
good luck and love to everyone that follows their dreams xxx