TD63

Can anybody relate to this situation. Flights booked for Jan 2011 into Brisbane with temporary accommodation booked in Mooloolaba whilst i look for a permenant rental, Child offered a place at a school. All good ??.
Leaving my place of employment (own small company/ joiner) no job in place in OZ, but will be financily ok for the first 12 months. Wife drops the bombshell,:- dont think we should go as we wont be able to survive, and being 45 shes worried i would be unemployable and why leave a place of being secure (UK) and under no pressure to relocate to the Sunshine Coast for a better quility of life, When if we have no employment then all we have is the sunshine. I have tried to reassure her i MUST be able to find work within the first 12 months, things surely cant be that bad in OZ., i will of course cut my losses if she refuses to go as she may have a valid point.
Are these UP and DOWN Emotions common ? Help

kellz

I am up and down all the time about moving to Oz. My husband has said if I really don't want to go then we won't. Does your wife want to go? Is it just the uncertainty of starting a new life and what will happen if you don't get a job etc? or does she not want to go?

Sherlock Holmes

There have been several posts on this sort of topic. First, I think anyone who doesn't have doubts or the collywoblles is heading for trouble. So, yes, UP and DOWN is common, normal and probably healthy.

That said, it may well pass. I hope for both of you that it does.

Assuming that you get here, then expect more emotional rollercoasters then as well. The, "have we done the right thing" can occur after as well as before.

You WILL get homesick and this sends very confusing messages to the brain about your situation and the choices you have made.

I came here 4 years ago, semi-retired, no debts, no mortgage, a new wife, life in the country, no ties to the UK at all. I have everything that I aimed for. Am I completely happy? No, not 100% but I'm nearing 98% lol....and things will get better. It takes a long time to feel completely comfortable having emigrated.

Don't question your sanity if you feel inside out and backwards. It happens to everybody, whether they admit it or not.

JoeBloggs80

I'd say they are pretty normal.

What were your reasons for wanting to move in the first place?

Ultimately I'd say it always better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.

squeezzii

TD, I think most of us can relate to having felt like that in one way or another at a lot of stages of the emigration process, yes it's completely normal I reckon. I would say to you to have a think about why you are wanting to make the move, and discuss it from there. It's a scary thing that you are doing no doubt and it doesnt come easy but most people find that its totally worth it in the end.

Jon77

Some very good advice here I think what you are feeling is very normal indeed, the whole process is an emotional rollercoaster ride.

In March I will be making an international move for the 3rd time! I have been a ping pong person but now I have a 2 year old son so this move will be the last, thank goodness.

Regarding jobs for example I always take the opinion that something will come up, if I look for evidence to back this up then yes something usually does turn up. If I start catching myself worrying about looking for a job in Australia I always remember that I wont be sitting around watching the world go by I will be proactively looking and working towards something and from past evidence I can do this well. You sound like a good professional so have confidence in your skills and use your past success as evidence that you can achieve what you want in the future.

If you are successful and happy in the UK then there is a good chance you will be successful and happy in Australia. But if you are unhappy in the UK a move to Australia possibly isn't gong to make you any less unhappy.

Unemployable at 45 ! Tell your wife your still a spring chicken at 45 lol Thats no age these days, people have whole career changes in their 40's these days, still 20 years of your working life left ! The fact your wife has said this does sound like panic thinking, which is understandable given the circumstances.

Good look anyway, it is hard but you come out the other side ok believe me

tenpoundpom

hi im going through this at the moment, i can totally relate to your wife!..my hubby also in his 40s..seems absolutely fine cant wait to go looking forward to all that australia brings!!..sleeps soundly (while i toss and turn lol)..i also worry will he find work (plasterer)..will we be excepted..will the kids settle and find new friends..im not worrying about myself!!..just everyone else ..im up and down ...maybe its a woman thing lol..hopefully in a year or so we will be settled there and loving it!!..im so glad to see others have felt the same and have come out the other side good luck

Jon77

Best bit of advice on this thread

newlife_downunder

Hey Guys, this is perfectly normal we have only been on the Gold Coast, QLD for 3 weeks and the week leading up to going I was really thinking I don't want to go - what ifs and maybe's passing through my mind, but that has now passed. Still don't have my home comforts of possessions as they are still in Customs clearance Anyway in the three weeks we have sorted as much as we can out, we are in a rental with the bare essentials, thank goodness for k-mart! and bought a car, so things are good. We are in touch with family on Facebook and Skype, which is great for both them and us.
Neither Pete or I have a job, hope to start looking once our TFN arrives. But we are managing, Rent is paid for 4 months so we have a bit of time.

Good luck it will all work out just fine

B1K3R

Hi mate,

Our flights are booked for Jan 2011 and flying to Brissy like you I personally do not have any doubts and I'm 100% sure with the move. It's one of those things that your gut feeling tells you that everything will be fine I know it will be tough though...

I do get scared at times that we wont make it financially (till we settle down, find job etc) but that's normal I guess. I also get scared that wife won't stick too. As for her, she asks 10 millions questions everyday to herself...will I find friends, will I miss my family, will I find a job that I'll like, will I like the place and have nice neighbors...will, will bla bla bla.

Well, I tell her that in life its useless to stay worrying. It won't get you anywhere. Nothing comes easy. A ship is not meant to stay in the harbor! We cannot stay in the cave and just see the light out there. It's an adventure, full of experiences and you have to be strong, look forward, dream and never give up!

My tip is plan as much as you can!!! To the least of the details! Gather as much knowledge as you can use this and will make your life easier. Prepare your way and be positive.

Amerigo Vespucci and Columbus sailed into the unknown and they made it

Good Luck mate!

Cheers
B!K3R

Eloisa

Absolutely and totally normal. A year in and I look back on those days before we left as mad, sad and confusing times. T'is all good now though. It wasn't easy and for a few months I missed my home and the familiarity of life as I knew it. Now it's all good. We are working in good jobs that didn't take too long to get. Like a previous poster I know I would have regretted not giving it a go. We had been given this opportunity and to have turned our backs on it would have been madness itself. I'm not saying we will stay, I am happy for now. As the years go by I suppose It will all sort itself out. I do however have one tip - Location, Location, Location. Australia is a big place, (no shit sherlock) From what I see posted on here it could be make or break depending on where you settle. Make sure what is important to you in life is incorporated into your new life. Good luck.

Damson

From what I've read over and over on forums this is completely natural. After reading today that the job situation for our kids is likely to be extremely tough for another 14 years makes you realise that although we may (hopefully) be able to stay in employment here, what future career-wise is there for lots of our kids? Stay strong and go with it.

emma75

My OH flew over two weeks ago and we will follow early October. Even when i said goodbye at Heathrow i questioned whether this was the right thing to do, especially as we have two young boys. As my husband says, Its better to try and fail than to not have tried at all. I still cant believe we are leaving soon, It has not sunk in yet. But now i am just focusing on getting over and be a family again, Wine also helps!
Good Luck.

MrsE

Hi there

Congratulations! You lucky things - off to Oz in January

Now, back to the worrying thing! Seeing as hubby and I are experts in this field thought I'd try and put your mind at rest a little

We are very early on in the process, still waiting for hubby's skills assessment to be returned but hoping to submit application before the end of this month

We have been "thinking" about emigrating for about 4 or 5 years and after going for a reccie in March/April this year decided to take the plunge! We basically think that if we don't do it now we never will and we don't want to get 10 years down the line and have big regrets about not giving it a go! At the end of the day, all things going well we may live to around 90 (if we are lucky) so what's a couple of years out of that to give something different a try? If we don't like it we can come home

Some of the worries that frequently cross my mind are...........

What if we don't like it?

What if hubby likes it and I don't?

What if I like it and hubby doesn't?

What if our girls miss the family and their friends?

What if we don't settle - have we up-routed everybody for nothing?

What if hubby doesn't find a job?

What if the girls end up loving it and we don't feel settled and come back home and they end up being upset with us for taking them away from Oz?

What if we miss friends and family too much?

What if green pigs with yellow spots fly in front of the plane


There are many many more worries that I have but these are just a few Hope this makes you feel a little more "normal" about the worries you guys are having

BTW Mooloolabah is amazing! We had a few days there on our reccie earlier this year!

GO FOR IT!!!!! LIFE IS FOR LIVING

scotsista

All of your worries are my worries too!! Well, apart from the green pigs!!

I do strongly agree it would be worse not to have taken the risk though - life is short and precious. We must live it to the full!

Angela
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