happy chappy

We are going out with the Inlaws on Tue to have a meal and a chat about Emigrating and wondered if anyone has any usefull tips. I know I am going to be bombarded with questions about why we want to go etc and wondered how other people have dealt with it.

I am losing my job next year and I think they think it is a knee jerk reaction to this but we have though long and hard about it and come to the conclusion that it is now or never. We are getting close to 40, the kids are young enough 7&9 to adapt and with my job going it seems the ideal time, the only hurdle is the family.

Any advice and support would be gratefully received.
Cheers Dave

Anne4Terry

Just stick with your convictions and don't let anyone put you off. It is your family, your lives, your choice, anyone else has had their chance, this is your chance.

Good luck

Buzzy--Bee

Well, can't help with the in-laws as they live downunder, but telling my Dad was hard as he is widowed and I am his only child. Guess what - he was all for it as he has a friend in the same situation who visits her children and grandchildren for a couple of months twice a year and he calculated that he would do the same and would actually see us and our children more days in the year if we lived in Oz!!!!

So there's a positive spin..........

We live just up the road from you in Ruislip - please feel free to PM me if you fancy a pint and a chinwag.

Cheers

Buzzy

happy chappy

Thanks
I don't think anything can put me off now but it's my wifes parents and she is very close to them and I want to give the right reasons without coming across as selfish if that's possible. Anyway is it selfish to try to give your family a better life?

charlie brown

sometimes they surprise you , and say go for it that is what mine said i was a little shocked to say the least. i thought that they would give us a hard time but they haven't yet, i suppose i will just have to wait and see what happens in the future good luck

happy chappy

I hope they see it on the positive side but it's hard not to feel a bit guilty about it.

I was bought up in Eastcote so I know Ruislip well. I used to drink in the Orchard about 15 years ago and it seems like yesterday.

Buzzy--Bee

The Orchard's a Beefeater now...........pretty average

Plenty of others around though

Beck17

Stick to what you know is right, they may not see it straight away but they will in time. Maybe on some of the points they suggest just say thing like oh thats a good idea we will look into that - you probably already have but it makes them feel like they are a part of it.

My dad and step mum didn't take it too well when I spoke to them and my boss gave me that advice - she has a psycholgy doctorate. I wanted to go in like a bull in a china shop and answer every single one of their questions to prove that I had thought about, however once they felt like they had some input they did start coming around.

I cannot say that they are happy to see me go in seven weeks but they are now a lot more understanding.

Good luck

Beck xxxxxxxx

Timber Floor Au

Aint gonna be easy, but then it never was.

Id work on some of the answers you should be giving, in advance of the questions they may well ask you.

Imagine you were the inlaws, what would you be asking, what would your concerns be.

1. why Australia ?
2. what about the Kids, they are settled here ?
3. what about your house, youve just got it lookin lovely ?

there normal.

Then theres the questions we got, that threw us

1. what about the snakes, spiders and crocs ?
2. have ya got a job to goto ?
3. why so far away ?

It aint easy, but good luck, break it to em subliminaly : ie order kangaroo steaks, and wear a cork hat.

Steve

Australia_bound?

Tips hmmm well, just be straight and wear your extra thick skin as things may get heated . As long as you're 100% sure what your planning is the right thing for you then does it matter what they say? you can sell it to them if you believe in it, otherwise if you're unsure they can play on your doubt. Or maybe just maybe they may tell you to go for it, my father in law did mother in law looked a bit shell shocked!

robos

We had exactly the same dilema as you, thought they would go nuts and disown us but guess what, they were all for it. Apparently they were due to go through the process themselves years ago but backed out for personal reasons. (dont do what we did was their response). They even got the money order sorted for us to send off for the tra. All in all they have been brilliant, and here we were worrying ourselves silly. Dont worry and take it as it comes, and dont feel as if you need to justify yourself to them or anyone. After all you know you want to do this so stay focused.

all the best of luck, Jan & Gary.

woogle

We didn't tell parents until we got TRA through,then just said we were applying for visa. I think I played it down too much with my mum,because I made a point of making it sound like we probably wouldn't get in, so she didn't take us too seriously at first. Looking back, that was probably a mistake,but I guess I was trying to soften the blow. My M-I-L has gone for the emotional blackmail route "doesn't it bother you that you might never see your mum again?" "The grandchildren will forget about us in a few months"
I know where she's coming from & I know it's torture for all of them,but I just think it's MY family & I'll do what I think is best. They can wish us luck or not,
it's not going to stop us leaving.
You just have to be hardfaced & stand your ground. I know that sounds heartless, but if you listened to all their arguments against you going,you'd end up staying because it was easier to backdown,than it was to leave.

Hope you get a better response than we did

happy chappy

Thanks for all the positive comments I have taken it all on board. I must admit when my family asked about it I did say I probably won't get it, trying to make it sound less likely (this was probably the wrong thing to do).

Like you say I will give a positive view and give all our reasons for wanting to go and just see over time what happens.

Funnily enough "Timber floor au" we have just got the house as we like it but I thought everyone moved when they had it just right

Stitch

Be honest and upfornt about why you want to go. For us it was a chance of a different, not necessarily better, life on the other side of this huggggge world! There is only one life and we have a chance to live it to the fullest we can so that's it for us. Probably didn't help with that speel but it felt good.

Cheers

Ginny

fraser

Best bit of advice I can give you is don't tell them where you're going, mine know and are coming to stay :scared: