Nobody on here really knows me, so thought I'd be safe asking this on here


Basically, I'm in oz have been for a month now. Haven't actively been looking for work, but I have had a few quick looks, as my g/f is coming out mid October for 3 weeks to see how she likes the place. So I didn't want to be working when she was out here as I want to show her about and show her where we could live, work and the place in general. Will start looking for employment when she goes back.

BUT - I'm unsure as to what to do if she doesn't like it. Has anyone ever stayed on their own and made a go of it? She may well want to come out here, but if not, I really don't want to go back to the UK.

Anyone made the tough decision to stay alone?

am looking forward to seeing replies to this thread as im in same position as you xzibit except im not even in the country yet and my gf is already dismissing Australia. I have a job lined up and accomadation initially for a year starting end of Oct, with the gf and 2 year old daughter coming out after 3 months hopefully, the way she is at the mo she wont even entertain the idea of a months holiday! she is very close to her family and they are dead set against a move to Oz and she is listening to them rather than me! Bloody in laws!! i know ive got to leave my daughter for a year which is somthing i have come to accept but the thought of me possibly staying without her is horrible

I have passed through that experience 10 years ago.

In a nut shell, 10 years ago, a job opportunity came up in Melbourne and a few months before completing my degree and left to OZ I had met this lovely girl.

We fell in love but I still made it clear that I had to go, at least for a few months. So, I left to OZ and it was an amazing experience. We wrote for a few weeks and then she flew to OZ to see if she likes it and obviously to be a bit together.

She did love it there! But eventually after a month or so, she was back in Europe cause of her job, family etc. We kept writing and after a few months decided it cannot work like that.

So I had to either continue my great career or go back to Europe and be with her. Was a bloody tough one mate, I tell ye. So, I said to my self, this is my soul mate, cannot loose her, but OZ I can come back one day.

Decided to go back to Europe to be with her. We are now married and have a daughter and now, after 10 years are heading to OZ!!!! I could never forget OZ, always wanted to live there and was a bit down in Europe, but all in all it was great to be with her, have our daughter etc.

Now I'll have it all!!! Oh btw, yeah, her family is making it hell for her to move, so I know what you mean. If they are open minded, they'll accept it at some point.

So, it depends mate, if she is your soul mate stick to her, if not think it twice cause it might be tough.

Good luck!

Cheers
B!K3R

I know you guys are all fantastic chaps and would never do this but I do hope you dont use your kids as pawns to get your partners to stay in Australia if they decide that it isnt where they want to spend their lives. Perhaps you could be proactive and before you arrive here sign a legal document which gives them the right to leave with your kids should they need to go. I hope too that your partners are aware of the legal situation regarding children and wanting to leave the country before they set foot here and that you as rational and wonderful partners/fathers are alerting them to it, if they arent currently aware!

Too many sad souls trapped here by kids unfortunately!

Be true to yourself xzibit - people come and go from your life, some stay a while, some stay a bit longer, but you will always have to live with yourself. Follow your heart, your head will make sense of it in the end.

If it was me.......................Oz would win hands down. But I have never felt the need to be permanently attached to someone - and havent met the one that would make me want to compromise my own dream for theirs. So here I am.

Good luck mate.

a very tough decision and one i dont envy.

Difficult. It really depends on what means more to you - your relationship with your girlfriend or your love of Australia. What is it about Australia that makes you so keen to live here and not in the UK?

I notice you refer to your "girlfriend" rather than your "wife", "fiancee" or "partner". How close are you, how long have you been together? Is she "the one" or just the best at this point in time?

Also you are looking for the answer to a problem that may not even exist, as she hasn't yet been here!

The only thing I will say is, whatever you decide to do, do it wholeheartedly. If she doesn't like Oz and you both go back, your relationship won't last long if she is continually reminded that you would rather be in Oz; if you stay here you will be miserable if you are always thinking you'd rather be with her.

There are lots of stories on here of how people have traveled back and forwards just to be with the ones they love and I'm sure they would do it regardless of what country it was. If you would be prepared to dump your girlfriend for you to stay in Australia then she's not the one for you, don't let her leave her family and friends to come and be with you if your not that serious.

Look at it this way if your not prepared to move back to be near her why should she give up everything to be with you?

Perhaps it's best to cross that bridge when you come to it.

I like that. It's the perfect question for anyone whose partner is unsure.

I'll second that.

Wait and see. Then ask again, only if you need to. Good luck

My story is similar in a very loose way
I met my hubby 5yrs ago, came out here decided to give it ago, then when i got back home my daughter was going through some of her own crap and i couldn't leave her so decided to end the relationship, we kept in touch but just got on with our lives,
then decided when we realised that there had been no one serious for us since we spit to give it another go, so here we are married and waiting for the spouse visa to come through,
never been happier,but one of the hardest things i have ever had to do is leave my daughter who is my life, family and friends
If you are meant together then it will sort out one way or another, and as hard as it may be you will do what is right for both of you, and whatever you do you will be able to handle it

One Australia and millions of women. Can't see the problem myself.

perfect answer
but maybe only one love (or not)

Well I've been married for 20 years and would go wherever my wife said we were going so I'm not really the one to talk.