jeany

Hi all

Sorry I'm probably about to bore you with my thread! It's just I am sooo confused and just don't know what to do.

I posted on the Canada section before Xmas as we were considering going there on a WHV but have changed our minds.

Story so far................

3 years ago me and OH travelled to Ozzie and NZ for 12 months, we did the WHV 12 month thing. Had the most amazing time and since being back in the UK we just cannot settle. As soon as we came back from our trip we returned to our old jobs and bought a house. The UK enjoyed a great summer and all was good. After a year or so of being back we starting thinking about living out there or possibly going off travelling again. We quite fancied going on a WHV to Canada but decided we can't just keep leaving our jobs to go travelling. First time round we were lucky enough to get career breaks.

We discuss our options all the time but cannot make a decision. One minute we wanna go to New Zealand, the next Australia, then Canada and even France!!! Next minute we just decide on staying put but after a few days realise we don't wanna stay put. We have friends in NZ and Oz who keep telling us how fab it is but that they do feel quite isolated not being near Europe.
We have enough points for NZ but for Oz, OH would have to have a job offer.

We have loving, supporting families but my Mum say's that I would finish her off if I decided to move away!!!!! Mum just wants us to settle down and make babies! I feel guilty for wanting to move away and try to convince myself that the right thing to do is stay here with family.

I'm 28 and OH 32. OH is an electrical engineer and I'm in the Travel business (job doesn't help much)! So good jobs, very comfortable.

I'm starting to have restless nights just thinking about it. My head is just spinning.
We go to Europe on holidays and go camping in the lakes, wales and Scotland.
Oz and NZ just can't leave us though. Don't wanna turn round in 10 - 20 years and say "why didn't we go?"

Problem is myself and OH are very indecisive!
Any advise??? Did any of you talk about it for years? Anyone went travelling there and decided to emmigrate? Was it worth it?

Sorry to ramble on!!

Issie

Jeany

i posted a thread yesterday about being scared and i had so much support and advise from BE...

My story ( I'll keep it brief)..talked about it for 2 years ( me being full on) finally decide to apply hubby changes his mind , but has since changed back. But now that it's full steam ahead with the application i am being a big scardy pants

Basically like you i am not going to escape anything i really do like my life here, have lots of friends and a supporting family ..but i just want to give it ago
( and i am scared if i dont i will regret it too).

Thats it in a nutshell......i post for reassurance , and to make sure i am not going completely insane from it all......and most off all i am not alone. Others have been in my position or are going through it too.


Good luck in your decisions and keep us posted with your decision

furkew

I know the dilemma. My wife & I have wanted to visiti OZ for years, and last year on our holidays in France, we decided thats it we are going to OZ, but not for just a holiday.

I have also a loving close family, but I have lived in Holland for 19 years, so the contact is a little different. My wife on the other hand has the problem that her mother would have a heart attack when she finds out. My sister in later and husband had a job offer in Poland lasting 2 years, and that nearly finished her.

We have simply said, that it is our decision to move, and we are not prepared to wait until her mother has left us (could be years yet.) As you say, we don't want to say to ourselves years in the future "why didn't we do it" I would rather go, regret it and come back and say at least we gave it a go.

We are 40 & 42, and I am really envious to hear that you are looking at going to OZ at a younger age thAn us. Just simply go for it, and see what the consequences are later !!!!

FluffyTheCampfireSlayer

When i read this, I thought I could help you, then I wasn't so sure.........oh, hang on, maybe I can? Nope, it's gone again!

Only kidding.........seriously guys, I know how you feel. Only advise I can give is to follow your heart, if you don't you will spend the rest of your life regretting it!

I know it's a really naff cliche, but life aint a rehearsal..

Good luck anyway

furkew

thats 3 of us at the same time with the same thoughts

don't spend the rest of your life regretting not doning something.

I have always done (almost) everything I wanted to.

As I said, you can always later turn around a say, at least we tried !!

Paul

ginaf

Hi Jeany, I was the same, I used to post on the Canada forum and to be honest I would still love to go there but for oh's career Oz is a better place. I am the same age as you but I have 2 small children, if I was in your situation without children I would be quite happy to give them all a try knowing that you can always very easily return or move on to a different country .

Good Luck

furkew

My wife still has on days & off days, but at the end of it all, she still comes back to me and says that we are going (but I have to stop talking about the spiders, and do NOT use a picture of a huntsman as my desktop !!!)

Issie

Ha Ha ..thank you.

I am sacred to death of spiders too. :scared:

God help me !!!

furkew

I used to keep pythons as pets when I was younger, and I love snakes in general, but I was bitten as a kid collecting spiders in England (It was a HUGE spider to kid of 10) and since then i've hated the buggers !!

wargod

I went traveling there 10 years ago, i am in a similar position to you - good job well paid etc.. But i thought sod it - get the visa before i get too old then at least we have a few years to decide one way or the other. As it is whilst we were waiting we decided that it is the right thing to do...

Go for it - you only regret the things you dont do (or the things you get caught doing!! )

tiredwithtwins

no move has to be permanent - it doesnt have to be forever.....why dont you work yourselves a schedule out? plan a year's working and living in each country, then you may come to a decision at the end of it - either where you are now (home) or one of the countries you have tried.
There are no limits to working and travelling in most countries (except visas obviously) so the world is your oyster!!
At only 32 and 28 neither of you is over the hill!
And as someone who supressed travel urges to stay home and have babies, i can honestly say that i bitterly regret not travelling. not that i dont love my kids cos i do, but i do VERY much regret not getting all the countries i wanted to visit visited!!
dont be swayed by family pressure either - its your life and although you have strong loyalties to your mum, its really is up to you what you do with your life - travelling/working abroad all add to the rich tapestry of your life, and its fantastic to be able to look back on fond memories of here and there.

good luck on whatever you decide

banjo

I would definitely echo what Tiredwithtwins has said. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing. If you don't have children (yet) then it's the PERFECT time to get out into the world and explore and enjoy. Once children come onto the scene finances may be more restricted, certainly the ability to be absolutely spontaneous diminishes a little, and when all is said and done you may feel differently about being away from family.

One thing to bare in mind if you do like travel, and you decide on a permanent move to Aus / NZ is that it really is rather expensive from this side of the world.

Pomster

if you have real pangs of indecision, why not keep your place on in UK, come on down for 2 years and see if you like it. Very wishy washy way to decide but some people love it here from day 1, some love it for a holiday, but hate it to live, some (like me) are really not that bothered but find the place grows on you.

At your age I would go full steam ahead for the visas, and say 'au revior' to the family. My family were really upset when we came (for 2 years in 2000!) but we are all used to it now and phone calls help a lot. I talk to my mum and sis more regularly than when I lived in London!

Good luck with your decision.

YoSemite

hiya Jeany

really felt for you with this bit. My mum died a few years ago so she wasn't the issue... it was my gran.

I've been seriously planning the move to australia for the last year (since i got back from last reccie in feb 05) but have been talking about it for a long time. My grand always said things like "you can't move to australia whilst i';m still alive - i'll just die if you do" "you can't go away and leave me - you're all i've got" yada yada yada.....

so i have had the most horrific year planning for this new life, getting excited and nervous, getting into uni etc etc etc and the whole time I was stressing about my gran to the point of making myself ill. and having to lie to my gran everytime she said "you're not going to move to australia are you?" was a real killer. (made worse still by the fact that we all knew my gran knew what was going on but we hadn't yet actually told her!)

love my gran to bits - most amazing woman ever.... but she was really laying it all on me....


i don't want to sound hard (so sorry if i do) but this is your life and as much ans you love and repsect your parents there comes a point where you have to sit them down and say - this is MY life not yours and i'm going to live it the way i want. I would like to have your blessings to do so. your mum will get used to the idea! exaplined to her what everyone above has said - that it doesn't need to be a permanent thing but if you don't go and give it a go then you'll never know if it was the right decision or not. people move away and move back every day of the week.


don't know if you believe in fate or anything like that but... at the beginning of october, after all my planning, i decided to call the move to australia off for a couple of years. my gran was ill (not seriously) and i was getting stressed and was beginning to dread this new beginning i was setting myself up for. i made my final decision not to go one thursday night... my gran took ill on saturday and then died on the monday. coincidence?? knowing my gran i would imagine that it's probably not!



good luck!!

jeany

Thank you guys, you have made me feel alot better and thanks FluffyTheCampfireSlayere! Made me giggle, very funny.

Gonna have a good think but deep down I (we) are almost certain that we are going to be heading down under! If we get in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a fab site.

Jeany xxx