sunnies

HI there

Don't want to feel all doom and gloom but...
We arrived here in Perth about 10 months ago. Two months ago, we bought a house and starting to feel a bit more settled. The weather in Perth is fab and in Summertime lots of things are going on in the parks like jazz nights and sausage sizzle get togethers for families etc.

Our only gripe is that we feel that the Australians really take a long time to let you into their own circle. We have invited countless kiddies over to play and hang out with my girls (aged 7 and 12) We have also invited the parents to stay for a coffee etc. We have invited a few for drinks and/or dinner or barbies. The day goes well and all agree we had fun. We have even had flowers delivered as they had such a good time! The only thing is that we hardly ever seem to get the invitations back - literally twice in 10 months! Initially, we thought it was just us but after speaking to my sister in law who has been here for 3 years and my mother in law for 9 months, we all agree that it serously takes a very long long long time to make any friends here - if at all! We never had any problems in the U.K. or South Africa. This is our only real negative. I miss socialising and having a girlie night out now and again!

Cost of living IS more expensive than living in London BUT at the same time, I wouldn't change our decision for the world as quality of life is better out here.

any idea's or advice?

Professional Princess

The thing is I suppose in their eyes, you are still the 'newbie'.

You know when you were in the UK, you really would take your time to let people not only into your home, but your lives as well.

You are eager to make friends because your life has changed, but theirs hasn't and they are just taking their time before they let their guard down.

I reckon keep doing what your doing and things will happen naturally for you.

A new life takes a long time to build as do friendships, Im sure they are just if not slowly, building up their own opinion and image of you.

And by the sound of you, you sound like a good person.

All good things come to those who wait.

Good luck

Samantha

steandleigh

Look, good friendships take years to nurture. Don't try to rush it - you could end up putting yourself out there and then ending up with a heap of 'friends' that you really aren't all that keen on!!!

Sounds like you have done all the right things and they've obviously enjoyed themselves, especially to tbe sent flowers etc!!!
Maybe they are too busy / have probs / are anti social gits!!!

Try to make friends for yourself away from the kids. If they've got an interest the same as you, you'll have heaps in common. It's a cliche but join a club, get a hobbie. Do you work?

Don't take it too personally and don't let it spoil what sounds like a lovely life you have here.

Remember - you are a lovely person and there ARE other lovely people out there waiting for a friend like you - you're just yet to meet them, that's all.

sunnies

Yip I work. I am a massage therapist. Do corporate massage, work for a physio and also private clients.

As I explained to hubby, in my work, I always have to be upbeat and positive and it is all about their healing time. So I cannot always just voice out how I feel etc. With corporate massage, I am literally with clients for 15 min each and you get to know them briefly but that is about it!
I agree, it takes time and sometimes just get a bit impatient as I am a true Gemini and get bored easily and am naturally a social bug! I am used to socialising over the weekends in the U.K. and having girlie phone chats etc
Saturday evening and Sundays seem to be my worst times of feeling a bit offish and miss my old friends and family.

Thanks for the tips and advice girls

sunflower7

Blimey! I'm looking to go to Perth, is the cost of living really comparable to London?? I was under the impression that London equates more to Sydney.
Umm it seems a pity to not feel included, especially as you have made so much effort. They say its best to go more than half way towards meeting people, and of course these things do take time, which it would do where ever you went to. Must be disheartening though, hang on in there....you've made a giant leap forward already
When in NZ last year, I met and made some good friends, mostly people from work, having said that the majority came from the UK...

sunflower7

Professional princess is right, it is often the case of people just carrying on with their lives, and relationships just take time. It can be hard when you thrive on 'a good ole chat' I noticed this whilst away and with our colleagues/friends, and the newcomers to our workplace when I returned. I'm sure being a friendly person and making such an effort like you are will not go unnoticed. You'll be gabbing for 'OZ' before you know it.

sunnies

it is true - we found living in London for 5.5 years cost of living is def cheaper than living in Perth! and I am not the only one either! Reasons are for e.g. we could go to the theatre at least once a month as you could get cheapish tickets as their is so much competition and also last minute dot com is quite good in U.K. We could go out for dinner once a week no problem and not have to say - does it fit in the budget if you know what I mean! Since there isn't so much competiton here, you cannot get cheap theatre tickets etc Furniture takes 4 - 6 weeks to arrive from the east coast whereas in UK you get things delivered within 1 - 2 weeks!
There are other things to do in Perth so don't be so disheartened. Depends on what you want to do really. You cannot go to a beautiful beach in London can you?
Don't expect things to happen quickly here. I am a massage therapist and hubby is IT. When we went to U.K. he had a choice of jobs and the job offers arrived quickly. When we came to Aus, it took hubby 5 months to get a job in Perth! but in the long run - the move to Aus I am sure will pay off.

Dee & Steve

If it is any consolation you are not the only one that feels like this, and it is only natural to feel this way. My advice would be to not panic. I found in the first few months of being here, that I was really stressing out about making friends. As a beauty therapist I meet different people every day, with alot of my clients been English and Scottish, alot of them also new comers, and they all felt the exact same way. And some times I felt I was almost acting a bit desperate, hoping that you would just click with someone. But for the last few months I have really calmed down on the whole "will I ever find a friend again" situation and I have found that it is just starting to happen naturally. I'm sure it will for you too, I think if you just be yourself, you will attract people that you like and that you will get on with. Try not to let it cloud things too much. Take care Deirdre

sunnies

Thanks for that. Just what I needed today - some good comforting advice to help me feel more "normal". Have joined a walk group this week. I also need to start scouting around for new clients with corporate massage. Never know what life may bring you hey!

sj oldfield

Where abouts in Perth are you????

sunnies

We lived in Carine for the first 6 months (renting) and then bought a lovely house further up North in Tapping.

flip

Hi

I've moved counties 4 times in Uk and always found the first year to meet maybe one friend and feel pretty lonely, the second year to be a little better and by year 5 to have a great social circle and feel really settled - just stick with it like everyone's said it takes time.

May be that certain areas are friendlier than others though as I've been in Melbourne just 4 weeks and mums in playground have offered phone numbers and chance to play.

Good luck.

the Brady gang

I should be in Perth mid November and I will be living with relatives in Tapping, I think thats what its called anyways. Im just going on their info. Anyways I will be looking for a friend as I am sure all the relatives and my fiance will be doing my head in my then, so if you can manage the mad Glasgow accent then we can always meet up. I could also do with a great massage , all the stress and that, so a new pal and new customer, you cant get better than that ha ha.

sunnies

sounds good! I was chatting to my Aussie client today and mentioned that I have joined this forum and he said "oh - sticking to your own hey and not mixing with the Aussies" teasing me. I told him that you can never have enough friends in life and thought it was a good discussion forum as you can voice how you feel and find out how others feel and it is fun!

Have a good day. Looking forward to meeting you too