monkeymark

This my sound a bit wet but has anyone experienced the cold shoulder from so called friends. I say this because we are moving to Perth on the 4th of dec and my so called friends have all said they are coming to our leaving do yet they seem to be going out on other nights all together without so much as a "what are you to up to at the weekend" type of thing. Being a 40 year old you think you know people and hopefully id like to think im a likable kind of guy yet do you think they shun you because your making the move to hopefully a better life.
Perhaps im just feeling the emotional pinch so to speak. I have to say with all thats going on you'd think thay would make more of an effort perhaps its just me. I dont go on about it all the time, feel a bit pushed out but hey im the one thats going I suppose they are the ones stuck in ol blighty what with the onslaught of winter coming on. Anyway just wondered, the thing is never really had any probs with them all before. Thanks needed to get that off my chest. Passed my motorbike test wednesday got to say really looking forward to getting a bike out there, the roads the sun cant wait!!!!???.............Do you know none of them even asked me how i got on( go on say it you put your leg over) hahaha. perhaps its my crappy jokes!!!!...........

Juliecabs

They're just jealous

Good Luck with your move.
Julie

tracey.d

Congratulations on passing your test .

As for your friends, they are probably being thoughtless unintentionally. If you are leaving soon maybe they think that you are too busy to go out with them or something.

Try not to let it get you down. At least they are all coming to your leaving party . Your true friends will stay in touch whenyou go. Maybe the whole migrating thing is a good way to weed out who your real mates are!

Tracey

monkeymark

id like to think so but it doesent change who i am, but hey new friends new life! thanks

joe and sheila

[QUOTE=monkeymark]QUOTE]


you know what -- you just have to wait and see now -- we had some people who made a really tremendous effort to see us off at our leaving do and then there were others who just didn't bother their arses and we were really surprised ( and --- if truth be told disappointed) but we decided at the end of the day it was their loss not to have taken the oppurtunity to say their goodbyes -- its too late now -- we also made a concious decision not to let it bother us -- whats the point -- we had such a fab leaving do -- why let it be marred by a negative??? so -- do what u need to do to organise and invite everyone and just dont worry about it -- those who come will and others simply wont!! --- hope u have a great time -- remember think of the positives and leave the negatives to someone else

Anne4Terry

Congratulations on passing your motorbike test Enjoy the Oz open roads and sunshine

Tableland

Sound like a load of pommie wowsers to me.

Juliecabs

No you're right, it doesn't change you at all. But as Tracey just said, real friends will stay in touch with you wherever you are in the world.
Just wait and see how many of them ask to come and stay with you once you're settled in Oz.
So many people have said to me that they can't wait to visit us, but I wonder how many of them actually will.

hilary6

Like Tracey says its probably unintentional.
If it were me Id invite myself
Hilary

Luke I Amyofath

It just makes your friends look at their lives and be reminded that they arent quite so adventurous.

geary11

defiantly! they are all just jealous!

TraceyW

This really caught my eye: point 1) you'll be surprised how, after time, even real friends slow down on the communication front. The not so real friends just slip away quickly. It's all a bit hurtful really but it happens to lot's of folk here.
point2) lot's of people were so excited about coming to stay with us and promised to keep in touch. They haven't and they don't!

It's just you will be out of sight, out of mind. Don't forget the reality is this: you will be living at least 12,000 miles (or is it k's?) away. At least an 18 hour flight, and for some that's just way too long. Don't forget the costs too, very expensive for some people.

For the OP: We had the same as you happen. People started to 'let us go' while we were still in the UK. I thinks it's their way of getting on with life without you. Hurtful for you, but true. A lot of folk do feel envious of you too. You are doing something they perhaps want to do but won't. Your life is the one that's going to change, theirs will stay the same. Keep focused on making new friends once you're in Oz. They'll be the ones you need.

cranni

Dont let it worry you, we had a great turn out for our going away do. But they dont all keep in touch, they are busy getting on with their own lives.
I think we will have friends coming over, and one of my friends is coming over to live , they miss us so much.
Y ou will make new friends. They might be planning a surprise. Denise

Linda Lushardi

There could be several reasons why all this is happening.

One big one to consider is their underlying sense of being abandoned by YOU. Afterall, its you who is leaving not them and maybe some feel a bit bitter underneath. I know it is irrational but us humans are like that!

After 5yrs away from UK i only have one very good friend i still keep in contact with. When i lived there i considered my friend list to be around 15- 20 people. Going through this experience of being rejected and "fobbed" off is one of the early lessons learnt in the experience of emigration. I am happy that i learnt from it. These days i dont see new friends as forever or feel they have any sort of deeper meaning. I am more likely to enjoy the moment and the time we are together and see no further than that.

Maybe we think we are far more important to other people than we actually are.

phoenixinoz

There is another side to the coin.

We have a list of friends waiting to come over....alongside family members...and ex work colleague's. Already in just over a year we have had two sets of family members for three months and one friend who arrived short notice for a month. And next year another two sets of people wanting to descend.....and the possibility of another couple.....and the list goes on....

Of course we are chuffed to bits that people can be arsed to come...but the other side is that it costs money to have guests, you go to places you've seen before [and pay for the priveledge]....it's knackering cos you are living real life and not on holiday ......and your own mates in Aus suffer cos you don't get to see them cos you're busy being a chauffeur to your guests

All that apart, I wouldn't have it any other way

Those that matter will stay in your lives through mutual respect and appreciation.

Those that don't bother are not worth thinking about.

Put them in the "dickhead" box in your head and move on.

Find genuine friends who are worthy of you

Good luck...and sod em...you've got a new life to look forward to