0152.sky

Hello hello,

Has anyone emgirated to Oz as a single mum or dad?

Would love to hear your stories and any words of advise (or warning..)

It seems like it will be nigh difficult to qualify using the points system being there is only one of me?? I may have sponsered employment as an option and should have enough cash in the bank to buy somewhere (I have had a look at prices) and have a bit left over. I am realistic about how difficult it will be being on my own. I have lived overseas for several years (my husbands job took us to China - he has stayed with his new much younger than me chinese girlfriend) so know only too well how hard it can be to settle but I am not overwhelmed by starting again somewhere else and love a challenge and want a bright future for my child.

Any pointers and positive thoughts most welcome as everyone keeps telling me it aint going to be possible.

laven

Sorry just couldnt help asking.. can you really take your child to live overseas if you (I assume) have a joint custody??

Sally Simpson

Search for posts by Daunted. She moved over to WA a few years ago as a single parent.
There are also plenty of threads about getting permission to move your child to Aus too & the difficulties that may arise.
Qualifying for a visa or getting sponsorship, is going to be key though.
Good luck.

DunRoaminTheUK

I find it amazing that I am struggling to secure an equal share of my son's time (for his own good first and foremost by the way) and that it has cost me $41k in legal costs so far and that other Father's are quite prepared to walk away from their children?

I hope you manage to get here. Good luck...

Deancm_MKII

What's better for the child, a protracted custody battle while being used as a pawn and dragged from pillar to post or a stable environment for the child to grow up in?

Sometimes it's better for the child if the father walks away.

DunRoaminTheUK

If the father is hopeless then yes but if the father faces an uphill struggle from a vengeful and spiteful ex then no...

daunted

Hi - Yup i did it on my own with 2 kids back in 2007 and was the best thing I ever did for us all. BUT it was also the single most hardest thing i ever did I was lucky my ex supported my decision to bring our kids here, I dont think I could have done it if it meant a legal battle. Its an emotional minefield but it is very achievable. I have lots of posts on here - the most used one is 'A little less Daunted'. Have a read and feel free to contact me

daunted

I agree completely and I hope you manage to get what your son deserves - time with his daddy. I will never understand men that walk away from their kids but equally I will never understand one parent refusing to encourage a continuing relationship with the other parent if it is obvious their safety is not threatened. Makes me so :curse: angry!! Our kids are not our possessions - they are little people of their own right and deserve to have a relationship with both parents. OK rant over! Good luck mate x

moneypenny20

Why should a father walk away? Maybe the child isn't being dragged from pillar to post, maybe it's all between lawyers. No parent should just walk away just because the other parent is being a jerk.

Having watched my best mate's husband having little or no choice but to do that, whilst everyone in the world told him it was ok, the children would understand and appreciate what he'd done when they were older, only for them to change their name to the slapper's second husband and deny that their father was their father, I struggle to understand how a parent can suggest that.

Totally off topic, sorry 0152, if you are eligible, you'll be ok if your mindset is right.

0152.sky

Yes - so long as he agrees there should be no problems, and even if he did oppose it I am advised there is little he could do being non resident in the UK, he is still living in China and I don't expect he will ever return to the UK he is set on staying in the Far East and even mentioned Australia. Being he has chosen to remain in China and did not want joint custody with us remaining in China (he visits every few months for a few days) and indeed Austrailia is nearer to China and less of a time difference so it could be a bonus>

0152.sky

I know I feel for you - I would do anything for my husband to have a change of heart - he couldn't pack us off quick enough - so I have no choice - I have to put our futures first now and just keep doing what I am doing to facilitate as much time as he gives for our child.

0152.sky

I want my husband to have a smuch contact with our child as possible - I would have stayed in China if it had at all been possible and had he wanted us too - without a job (and therfore visa difficulties) and somewhere to live we had to return - he put the notice on our place and I had 3 weeks to pack up - he was adament we were not staying - he wants to be with his new woman and live the high life - it has been diffcult but I do everything to maintain a positive vibe about him and encourage a good relationship with our child.

0152.sky

Thanks everyone for your thoughts xxxxxxx

Sally Simpson

It doesn't matter where he is resident, you will still need his permission for your visa.

Deancm_MKII

Because sometimes it is better for the child to grow up in a stable environment rather than be dragged from pillar to post, which is common in long distance parental situations.

What is best for the child must come first. What is best for the parent is secondary. Your example is about what is best for the parent.