..Basically i think i am having them..second thoughts that is.We haven't yet started applying to go to NZ yet and i am already getting the jitters.We won't be applying for at least another year yet so we have alot of time to think about it.Thing is..we met some expats this week who have been in NZ for 6yrs now,friends of friends.They are our age and have 2 gorgeous daughters like we have.It just hit me yesterday though,when we saw them at our friends daughters christening,what a wrench it would be.They are going back on wednesday after having a 4wk holiday here(their first time back in that 6yrs)and to see them saying goodbye to their friends and family all over again,well,it had me in tears and i've only met them twice!Their were alot of emotions flying around.
I come from a very close family,3 sisters who are all married with kids and we all live within 4 miles of each other and see each other almost daily.Mum and dad also live close and at the age of 72 they live life to the full.We did initially all want to apply to go out but since we found out more about it,it turns out that one of my brother in laws is too old to apply and so is mum and dad,gutted.We have a great circle of friends,as do our children,we have a great social life too.So why would we give all that up? To go and live somewhere totally unfamiliar,where there's no-one we know,future uncertain blah blah blah.When it comes down to it,i really don't know if i could say goodbye to all that.We are really lucky at the moment.I know i run on about this country and government etc but that just runs in the family,everyone's got a moan about something haven't they?Anyway,i just had to let off some steam about this as my hubby is all up for it and can't see the problem but he hasn't got the close,supportive family that i've got and to be honest,if we did go i think i would get homesick and want to come home.We lived in Hungary once for a year and that nearly killed me! I know only we know the best thing to do but i didn't know if anyone else had had the same problem as me before.
Thanks for listening anyway..Anniexx

Annie,

Sounds to me like you shouldnt even consider going. Missing the family and home sickness is what causes most people to fail (in my opinion).

Be sure its what you want. Its an expensive mistake to make, I have done it once. !!

Just about to do it again and with less than 8 weeks to go, house sold, car sold, I am having second thoughts and thats with knowing what to expect. :scared:

In my opinion, it is a straightfoward vase of what is best for you. However have you considered:

Going through the visa process with a freind and then getting them to emigrate to New Zealand with you. That way you have someone to hold your hand and can look out for each other.

Decide on the same timescale and go through the process together.

Decide on the same area to settle in once you have arrived in New Zealand.

That way you will have a good support network all the way.

Obviously I know it is dependent on finding someone to be your migration buddy, still worth a try!!

Hi Annie

I read your post with interest and I sympathise with you.

Can you list out your 5 main reasons for wanting to go and your 5 main reasons for not wanting to go.

If the reasons for outweigh those against then you should consider it - If they dont then do not go .

I think that's one of the most harrowing posts I've seen here. Obviously no-one can really advise you and I think that whatever decision you make a large part of you is going to regret it.

While I don't agree with your views on the state of the UK I can understand how, if you really believe them then you feel a need to get out, but remember that politics goes in cycles and just because bleeding heart pinko liberals like me have the ascendency at the moment doesn't mean that bigoted, self seeking daily mail readers won't get it all back on the next backlash when it comes (tongue planted firmly in cheek here - no flames please!).

If you go you're going to miss your family terribly but remember when you said:

So if you don't go You'll have to live with the what if? questions.

But remember - you also said:

Seems extremely sensible to me - who says you have to make the decision now? Talk about it - visit, then decide but running away from something is rarely a good reason for leaving. This time next year you may be looking at ruuning to somewhere or you may be happy staying here.

Whatever you choose - all the best

Perry

You have caught the British Diaspora Meme:

Diaspora:

Meme Central

It's a contageous idea that gave rise to and fed off the British Empire.

hi annie, its something that you really have to decide for yourself, i think its quite normal to have all the second thoughts etc, i know we have them all the time. but 90% of me wants to give it a go, and the other niggly 10% keeps popping up saying dont do it. good luck in whatever you decide. we go in 26 days.

Dear Annie

It is not only a Brit's right to moan about Britain, it is your loyal duty. When a Brit arrives somewhere they immediately see what is wrong with it and then set about changing it (for better or worse!) and this is what makes Britain such an inventive collection of nutters. The day that everyone in that great set of Islands does not "have something to moan about" is the day that it settles for things as they are and joins the so-called more patriotic nations of the world, stuck in the past.

I live in NZ, rather than speculate about what it is like from afar. I emigrated from Britain late last year with my NZer partner for a number of reasons and obtained my PR thru the family category.

To cut a long story short, it is proving to be an expensive, almost ruinous, disappointment. Indeed, my NZ partner, even, has been disappointed with the country that we have found today's NZ to be. Of course, in many ways it is a lovely place - friendly, pretty, quiet, and so on - it's funny I was gonna give a decent list of positive attributes to prove my sincerity, but sort of ran out, genuinely. Therein lies the problem, the best I can honestly say about NZ is that it is "fine". It is not great. It is not terrible. It is just "fine". In short, it feels like a strange thing to have made such a big effort, to have spent so much money, and to have left so much behind to come to a place that is just, simply, OK. And we have extra reason to come here compared to most people, with my partner being keen to try living back "home".

I am no high-roller with standards impossible to meet either - I grew up in state housing in a very ordinary part of London and have been daft enough to enter the only job in the world for which you need to have spent half your life at university and yet still earn toffees. There are many fundamental problems with life here, especially job opportunities, and yes, for what one person's opinion is worth, it DOES feel like you are at the other end of the earth here. The fact that the outside world (beyond Oz and Eastern Asia) is given scant time on TV news and in newspapers here does not help cure that feeling of isolation. The journey to the UK is, of course, long and very expensive, and I would be surprised at anyone who would like to do it more than once or twice a year unless they are addicted to aeroplane food and Bruce Willis films.

You sound happy where you are to me and I can't see why on earth you would want to give up what you have for something that is fine but certainly achievable within the UK. There is no big secret over here, truly. It is a nice little country but, overall, no better than the many nice parts of Britain.

Good luck to you whatever you decide.

Slippers

To Andie,

Where are you heading in NZ?

That is a very true statement. Not just for Australia and New Zealand but to most places in the world.

Same as holidays, you spend a fortune getting to exotic lands and find they are just OK.

Annie

i am sure that at one time or another everyone has the same thoughts, we wouldn`t be human if we didn`t.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

footie chick

Bang on. Is it globalisation or is it because the thing that you are really trying to emigrate/holiday from is oneself?

Slippers

Blimey..i didn't expect all this response..Thankyou all for your words and such good advice.It's going to be a big decision when the time comes to make it and i'm sure we'll make the right one.I'm going to bring my hubby on the pooter tonight and make him sit and read this.Might make him think twice?!?!?
Something else someone said on here recently made me think twice.About their kids and prospects for them in NZ.What prospects are there?To get a good education and leave school,only to get a job that pays peanuts and struggle to buy housing or anything.Yeah better surroundings etc but surely they have more prospects here? Oh i don't know i think i really have lost the plot!

Thankyou all again..Anniexx

Hi Annie

Are you considering any other countries, or is it just NZ ?

Yikes Annie..talking about "I feel your pain"!
Would it be possible for you to go to N.Z on vacation before making this life-altering decision?
You really are giving up so much. At one point in my life as an adventurer I lived in N.Z for a short time. It's a beautiful country, but as a U.K.big city girl I nearly died of boredom. I daresay it's a more interesting place nowadays.

Consider that your kids will grow up not knowing their grannies, cousins
etc., I married a Canadian, and live in Canada now, so I'm speaking from experience. I didn't have your big family, but I never stopped missing my family or the girls I grew up with. On the other hand you might just love your new life....it all a gamble either way isn't it? Good luck. Keelie.