trixiebell

Hello everyone.
Me and my hubby have done the process for our Visa to OZ but i'm scared his ex might put a spanner in the works and i need help to put my mind at rest as i'm climbing the walls.

My hubbys got a kid from a previous relationship which his ex has never let him stay in touch with, (we also have a child) so when he asked for his kid to do a medical, she failed to co-operate with his lawyers letters, so we went through the process of getting a statutory declaration.

All was fine and dandy for a while but since hubbys lost his job (a few months now), it means he doesn't pay maintenance whilst he's unemployed (he's paid it on time and for several years , no issue), but in the terms of the court order it states that his ex will not pursue the court order while he is unemployed. Hubby got a visit from the bailiffs recently saying that if he didn't pay the money "owed" (since he became unemployed), then they were going to put a stop to all our accounts and take our possessions to make up the value of the outstanding amount. It also said in their letter that they gave him, that they could stop the sale of the house or transferral of the house to anyone else.
Needless to say, i was s*it scared (sorry 'bout my language) but i felt helpless but also angry. I'm nothing to do with his ex or his kid, but how dare she put a stop to our accounts which means we end up with things like bad credit, bankruptcy or even enough money just to feed and clothe our kid!

Anyway, hubby got the bailiff thing sorted via lawyers and had all that dropped after pointing out the terms of the court order, but his ex is still looking for money (which he can't give cause he's not able to get a job :curse: )

The thing is, can his ex stop us going to Oz because of the money thing even though we've got our Visas? (but not validated yet)

Weird Fish

This isn't an area I have any experience of, but I just wanted to say I can totally see why you are concerned and why it is causing you so much anxiety.

I doubt she really has a leg to stand on if your husband really isn't allowed access to his child by her doing. Sounds to me like she knows that once you leave the country her pockets will no longer be lined and your and the courts if it comes to it should see through this.

I hope it works out for you all.

dave7370

You have PM.

trixiebell

Thanks Weird Fish.

We've set our heart on this move and now that it's getting closer, my emotions are all over the shop.
Hubby has tried in the past to see if his ex would agree to see his kid, but the same thing always comes back and that is if the kid mentions him and wants to see him, then she'll contact, but this has been going on for years now and as time passes by so quickly, it's going to be harder and harder for hubby to see him. With what i've seen over the years, that has just been an excuse from his ex so to make sure he doesn't see his kid (and his rellies also think that), but i'm trying to keep out of it cause it's not my kid and not my previous relationship
Hubby doesn't want to go to court cause he's stressed out whenever it's mentioned and i don't like seeing him like this, so i tend to take a back seat and let him deal with it in his own way. The other thing is we can't afford to go through courts and lawyers, this bailiff thing was one of the last things we needed, but we had to find the money somewhere just to challenge it and get it stopped.

Anyway is there any legal beagles or agents on here that can maybe confirm if there's any way that his ex can stop us from going to Oz even though we've been granted our Visa's? Hubby asked his lawyer when he dealt with the bailiff thing, but he couldn't help.

Thanks dave7370, when i get to 3 posts i can see your PM.

trixiebell

blonde moment! why didn't i just post up another reply.
Answered your pm Dave. thanks.

trixiebell

Anyone know how this stands legally? Am close to a nervous breakdown i think, not knowing what could be round the corner or if i'm worrying over nothing!

vickys

Hiya hun, just
noticed your post, I am by now means a legal expert but if you already have your visa's then i can't see a way in which she could possibly have any chance of them being taken back. The only thing that COULD possibly stop you is if your oh is not allowed out of the country and in that sense you not be able to validate in time. Like i said i am by no means an expert purely just reading your post. Maybe it'd be worth contacting an agent who posts on here such as George Lombard??

Whichever way just want to say good luck in sorting everything out
TC
Vic's

trixiebell

Hiya Vic's
That's one of the reasons i'm so worked up about it, cause we've scrimped and scraped and worked so hard to get the chance of a better life abroad that i'm scared that someone who has nothing to do with me has a chance to ruin my life with my loved ones.
I just hope someone can come on here and can confirm i'm fretting over nothing. or at least advice what she can do to ruin it all.

vickys

Can totally understand where you are coming from babe, i was thinking that way when i hadask permission from my ex before we could go, the whole thought of him having the say about my life really wound me up. I reallly hope it works out for you and that someone is able to give you some advice.

Fingers crossed for you hun

NikiL

I'd agree with talking to a migration agent, but I would also recommend speaking to a lawyer who specialises in migration law. Most lawyers do an initial half hour consult free of charge & I'd be tempted to utilise that in your situation. As another thought, if hubby's not working do you qualify for legal aid?

I wouldn't have thought that she would be able to stop you migrating unless the court order specifically states that she can. As far as the bailiffs go, I wasn't aware that they can take assets that are also in your name - but bear in mind that they will work on the assumption that most people don't know the law so some threats will be empty threats. The fact that they were prepared to go against a court orders direction should tell you that as well!

Well aware of exes and their delightful nature - one of OH's exes has done a very similar thing with lack of contact with his youngest, and the mother of the eldest 2 has been telling them that we wouldn't be migrating, it was all pie in the sky, blah blah and now we told them last week we leave in September its all text messages threatening solicitors, and court action to enforce contact and maintenance (the bit she's really worried about - who's going to pay for her bingo once we've gone?).

Some people will try anything to get money out of their exes, and it sounds like you've got one of them on your hands. FWIW, I totally sympathise, and its horrible as hell being the non parent partner in that situation. I can't see her being able to stop you going, but you might want to contact the Aus CSA once hubby's working out there because then if she does try anything you can prove you've been doing the right thing which instantly puts you as the good people in all this mess.

Very best of luck to you both.
Niki

djrobs

If he never sees the child, why would you want him to do a medical?

Wouldn't you have been better leaving him/her out of it?

trixiebell

I hope so too Vic's i really do.

Hiya Niki

The court order doesn't mention anything about the need to tell the other party where you live or what you're doing or any of that kind of stuff, only the agreement between the two parties in terms of maintenance for the child and that states that in times of unemployment, hubby doesn't need to pay and the ex can't enforce the order.(but she tried cause she sent the bailiffs round to get the "back" money).
It also goes into how each party has agreed that he gets this and she gets that and they both agree not to go after each other for anything else in the future, like his pension, stuff like that. I think it was called a "clean break" divorce. From what i gather it means that neither party can claim off the other any time in the future, the only thing that is variable is the maintenance agreement for the child.
From what i seen, she done pretty well by getting the house from my hubby plus a lump sum which was nearly 30k back then. Not bad considering she never worked up until they got divorced. Pretty good earner in my mind.

I think hubby would qualify for legal aid but when he spoke to the lawyer with the last nightmare, the lawyer said that it could take a lot longer to get it sorted out because it was legal aid and we just don't have that kind of time to wait for the wheels of justice to turn over. and to be honest we just can't carry on paying a lawyer anymore. Everything dealing with his ex has been through lawyers cause his ex won't communicate adultly.

The court order hubbys got is a weird one cause it states how much he has to pay which was based on his salary, but it also says that if his ex goes to the CSA (she never has... yet) and they say hubby should pay less, then he still has to make up the difference to what the court awarded. So doesn't matter what the CSA thinks should be paid. Hubby loses out. If CSA say hubby should pay more than the court order, then he has to pay the CSA ruling, but if CSA says it should be less, then he still has to make up the difference, so it matches the court order.

The bailiff thing that hubby got said if he didn't pay the "back" money, they could stop his accounts (joint), repo his personal effects, stop him selling his personal effects (to get money after the accounts were stopped) and stop him selling the house and/or transferring the house to release funds.
To me that meant then that we couldn't get any money for things like food or clothing and the bills which would normally be paid, like mortgage would go into default because the accounts had been stopped. Nice eh?
This is how i'm scared but also angry. Fine, go after my hubby if you want but DONT, DONT do something which affects me or my children! :curse:
She's the lowest of the low if she thinks it's okay to deprive a child of basic necessities, a child that she doesn't even know and me for that matter.
HOW DARE SHE! :curse:

I'm ranting now and getting upset. I said i wouldn't air my dirty laundry in a public place, but here i am doing it. Sorry.

All i came on here for was to see if anyone could give a definitive answer whether my dreams for our future could happen or be jeapordised.

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

trixiebell

We had to try and get permission cause it's a requirement for your Visa application. I think they look at it that his kid *might* want to come out to Oz at a later date, so they need to make sure the kid is healthy and all that. Because we couldn't get the permission, we had to sign a stat dec stating how we tried to get permission but failed and that the kid was not going to be going to Oz at any time in the future because there had been no contact for many years.

djrobs

Ah that makes sense. I guess when you're there they would more or less have to allow a child in with it's father.

Good luck with everything.

PS. I have the same sort of problems with a mental ex. Thankfully though I have always been able to see my son.

NikiL

I gather the child visa has a medical waiver under circumstances such as the death of the parent with care, hence why the request all non migrating children have a medical as obviously under those circumstances they would want to process the visa asap. (I freely stand ocrrected if my understanding is wrong).

Trixie, there's a few of us in this boat on BE, you'll find a fair few people who understand your general situation at least, and a fair few more who have psycho exes!

You'll get there, just hang in there and it will all be worth it soon xx