tinaj

Unfortunately my Grandpa died last week so things have been really hard for me. I decided not to return to England as it would be worse just going for a funeral. This is when things get harder here, knowing you are sooo far away, it is not like you are in Spain or USA and can just hop on a plane for a few bucks. To make things worse the wreath I ordered well in advance did not get delivered so I could not even say goodbye to him that way. I am currently writing stinking letters to Blooming Britain, avoid them at all costs, though a paltry refund will still not ease the heart ache they have caused me.

We have been here approaching a year now and we are still in love with this place and its lifestyle. I don't think it will ever wear off for us.It might sound selfish, but I don't miss the UK at all and have no desire to go back there yet, not even for a visit. When I see the UK on tv I remember why I left!!For us the best thing we did was move out here. The downside is though when a crisis happens the going gets real tough.

Bordy

I imagine your Grandpas up there having a pint & laughing at the state your getting in Tina.

tinaj

I hope so! More likely a glass of Sherry, he was not a pint drinker

lauralollipop

chin up tina, its so awful, at least you can take comfort in knowing he has lived a long life.
My friend died in a car accident last week he was only 29, it certainly makes you think and put things into perspective.

Your grandad will be proud of you and glad that you are living your life how you want to, in Aus making every day count in this short time we have together...


I feel really selfish too as i am going to aus and the sooner the better for me, than i can block all of this out of my mind and start a fresh,but i feel so selfish on my best mate who now has to live the rest of her life without her partner. And it hurst somuch knowing that there is nothing you can say or do to help her get over this.

Thinking of you

laura
xxxx

abergas

Hi Tinaj

I know exactly how you are feeling right now, not sure if you know this, but I returned to the UK in March this year, i took my youngest son back with me, hubby and eldest stayed here. Mum was very sick, we spent 3 weeks in hospital with her before she died, a week to sort the funeral and back here, i brought my dad with me, it was the saddest time for us, but now i think as mum's now around anymore, ive lost that pull to go back, it certainly helped my youngest settle more once we got back, we have been here 18 months tomorrow, although we have had a hard time, im still happy here, and i know my mum would be so proud of my boys, sticking it out, making a real go of it,

But yes your right, it does make you realise how far away you are.

keep your chin up
Yve

Pollyana

I was really sorry to hear your news Tina, it must be so tough for you, especially with the decision not to return to the UK. I'm sure he is up there with his glass of sherry, watching you, and following your new life here.
Remember him how he would like to be remembered, and he will know you are thinking of him always.
Big hugs,
Polly
xx

moneypenny20

He would be totally unconcerned whether you were at the funeral or not, so I think you did right to stay away. You loved him - and still do - and that is all that matters. Sod the flowers. Just have a drink, a long think about him and never forget him. What more could he have wanted.

teach

Sorry to hear about your grandpa, tinaj. Have a drink to toast your grandpa, I bet he's having a right old knees up over Oz by now. I'm sure he would have understood your reasons for not returning to the UK.
Best Wishes
Sarah

jimtrish

i think youve made the right choice tina, going back for a funeral is so hard for anyone, you need to go back when you feel the time is right. you can say goodbye to your grandpa anywhere in the world, you dont have to be in the uk, have a few bevvies and celebrate his life, he wouldnt want you to be so down.

anya4oz

Sorry to hear about your Grandad, Tina. It is very tough being 12000 miles away when things like that happen, and also dealing with that feeling of guilt at being over here having a good time, when things are grim for family in the UK

The same thing happened to us: hubby's grandad died a couple of months ago. We didn't go back for the funeral, either (we were in the middle of moving house, & MIL asked us not to disrupt our lives). MIL said that they were all planning to wear bright colors at the funeral, because her dad hated black at funerals & thought it was 'morbid'! So we wore our gaudiest clothes over here on the day of the funeral. Also, Grandad was a Yorkshireman: when I went into the local bottle shop the day we got the news, & got chatting to the guy there about it, he dug out a bottle of Sam Smith's Yorkshire bitter, so we could drink a toast.

We felt better, knowing that Grandad would really approve of the lurid clothes & the beer!

Cheers,
Anya.

ireland

Grandpa is probably looking down and is happy for you chin up love and best wishes ireland

DagBoy

Hey TinaJ,

Sorry to hear about your Grandpa, but I think you probably did the right thing not going back just for a funeral.

When we were over in the UK last month I went to visit the grave of an old friend in my parent's village who died the week before I came out here (I was in a plane while his funeral was on). My parents then got talking about their funeral arrangements (in that typical morbid way that old people seem to love) and while my Mum was telling me where she wants her ashes scattered she said "Don't bother coming back for my funeral." Not that she doesn't want me there - just that she does not want me to feel bad if I cannot make it.

As I told her, I would rather spend money going back to the UK to see them while they are alive.

Cheers,

DagBoy

yvsie

sorry to hear your news Tina.
I too think that you made the right decision not to rush back for the funeral.
This is something that we have talked about too......and hope its a long time before we have to go through a bereavement while so far away.

chin up

bondipom

It is the toughest part of being so far away from everyone. Gran has not got long in her but when she goes I hope there is a celebration of her life rather than a mourning of her death. I will go back but can fully understand the reasons for anyone staying.

All the best TinaJ

Teresa

Hi Tina

not going to to go on about my family passing away this year, just to say that think we can all pretty much understand how bad you must feel after Grandpas death but also how i'm sure that he's very proud of what you've achieved by in your life and by moving to Australia.

Take care
Teresa x