chris hogan

Sorry Lynne but my Old fella could moan for England,if I did something wrong he could go on for days even weeks,whereas my mum would give me a good hiding which was over and done with.I have smacked my kids, nothing compared to what I had,but I know they would never let themselves down never mind us.In the right circumstances I believe a smack across the legs is acceptable but to be whipped with a hose or anything else is totally unacceptable.Iwould have taken the smack/belt or hit any time.Some people will deprive their kids of certian treats but don't know when to re-introduce those treats or how often or how little,causing confusion all around.Some parents feel guilty and over compensate giving into the child allowing the child a sense of victory(for want of a better word).

the Wombats

I think to make this comment is totaly out of order, I do not know if it is you or your other half who claims to be a social worker but this is not the sort of comment you make. Child abusers are evil people and to just accuse like that is disgusting. If you are not winning an argument then could you not say something a little less cutting. I have kids and think to come out with the statement is little short of unprofessional, especaily to someone who is just arguing back on a discussion board. I realise you are not here just to provoke an argument but have a little more thought before retaliating.
As for the adult that beat the child in the first place, I would love to be alone in a room with him, I would not need a hose, I am a black belt in karate and would enjoy the 40 minutes with him. I would of course need someone to time the 40 minutes so I could be sure it was not a minute more nor a minute less.

karawara88

Donna is the social worker but she was not posting as a social worker so her comment was no more unproffessional than you saying that you are a black belt in Karate and implying you would use this to dish your own violence on another human being.

However I do understand your post and I would have to agree that the quote was wrongly put, I know what she meant in the context it was stated in relation to the post and previous argument, but like you believe it was the wrong way to make the point.

Unfortunatley we are all human and somtimes when you get caught up in debate / argument especially emotive subject such as this, its easy to say things that are not implied or on this type of forum its difficult to make your point in the way you intend it to be read.

By the way I am not fighting her battles, its just that I am up at this stupid hour and she isn't.

Chris

mikel

Would it take 40 minutes, having a black belt and all?

I totaly agree with you, but was questioning who would stand by and time 40 min without interveining, definatly not me.

To make use of the word abuse in the context of someone smaking their children belittles the word abuser, how then would we differentiate between a couple of smacks with a hand and the said 40 minutes with a pipe.

I think the differance is self control, once one looses control is can very quickly lead to abuse, I know I have the scars to prove it, I used to get beaten by the Step mom with anything and everything including horse crops, thorny branches and broom sticks, I do not now steal cars, beat up old grannies or propergate abuse on others, the odd smack with a hand is fine IMO.

Jirrupin

To your first point, mr. Mover threw me a baited response and I returned in kind. If at any point Mr. Mover was offended, of course I would apologise as that was not my intention. Mr. Mover (who incidentally could have been called Mr. Motivator that day as he was out with his spoon) left an open comment which could have meant he saw no problem with the ordeal suffered by the 11 year old child in question. Later in the thread he made his thoughts clear. If you were offended or anyone else was offended by my post then obviously I would apologise as that was not my intention either.

I am unsure on what basis you choose to question my professionalism as a child protection social worker, as you have no evidence of how I work. What I will say is that given the number of members on this site you cannot assume it is without victims or perpetrators of abuse. You may find that an 'unprofessional' comment but sadly it is true. Or do you think that child abusers don't emigrate.

Sadly your last sentence undermined your previous points as if you consider a violent assault upon a person as a method for 'teaching' them anything then you are clearly just as unwise as the father in the scenario.

As a final note on the subject of social workers, we are unpopular and unwanted in society. Most people do not like us especially if we have come knocking at their door.

steandleigh

You are correct that social workers are generally unpopular in society.

They are either hated by the abusers for " interferring " or condemned by the public for doing " too little, too late. ".

It's about time people sat up and took notice of whats going on around them and also time social workers were given the respect due to them for the extremely difficult job they do.

The law says that a child is generally best off with it's family - but even when you know abuse is going on but can't really prove it?

What a difficult and upsetting postion to be in. I don't envy you one bit.

chris hogan

Being foster carers we have seen good and bad social workers,wether that is because they are disillusioned with the system (and if so they should move on)or they are totally overworked which is very common in our authority.

I am still suspisious of social workers as I was conditioned as a child that social workers can and will snatch kids,my own dad was taken from school and placed into care for over 10 years,until he reached 18 and joined the army.He did not have much contact with his siblings until about 10 years ago in his 50's when he traced the lost ones and had a reunion party.

As for the law saying that a child is better off with the parents it is an ass.I could mention at least three were the children would be at risk,one were the parent is with a partner that has been diagnosed as having a Psycotic disorder which is untreatable,but the court want them all reunited.He has stabbed one person 18 times.It won't be until some family has lost a loved one that this "person"will be locked up.

A social worker I could never be it takes a special kind of person,good luck Donna &Chris.