Dmartyos

Just something that has been bugging me recently....

What would people put in front in terms of their wish in life?

A great relationship with a person whom you trust & would possibly be your 'soulmate' who you think would be great to grow old together but whos wish & future desire is not to migrate or who doesnt really talk about it when mentioned.

Or to Migrate & continue with your own plans in the hope that it encourages the other half or if they are not will to share the same ideas for the future to break up & finish the relationship & start again abroad?

In this senario your late 20s & dont have any children involved but would love to have some in the next few years but wishes to work abroad in the time before & even stay if happy?!

What would people put first? Obviously everyone is different & family/career/relationships mean more to some people then others?

This maybe something Ill have to come to face soon! If not Ill just ask God for the answer! Cheers Marty

purple rain

Tough call but can't answer. I have a hubby and family and although it's nice to get away occassionally on my own theres nothing as good as coming back home...the only difference will be shortly home will be Adelaide!

boom_meringue

the only thing you can truly waste in life is time and opportunity.

Vegemite Kids

Personally I would say follow your own plans. You can never live your life for someone else be it parent child or partner.

I put off my plans to return to Australia a number of times partly cos my ex hubbie wouldnt commit to the idea. We eventually ended up getting divorced (not cos of the Australia thing) and now 2nd hubby and me are back in OZ and both loving it. Just wish I had stuck to my guns years ago and come back to OZ then (although having said that if I had may not have meet 2nd hubby)

My belief is you dont have just one soulmate. There are may peeps in the world who can be a soulmate.

You may meet another (better) in Australia. Or you may not. Its a risk you take and really only you can decide.

moneypenny20

Agreed. If you want to do something badly enough, you shouldn't let someone else hold you back, who knows what will happen in the future. Sounds awful, but if you were to stay, she might not stay with you long term and you might miss out on travelling. On the other hand, you could go and find you hate it and come back again but whatever, you don't want to be in the position years down the line a) regretting not travelling or b) holding it against her during arguments.

Tough call though. Hope it doesn't happen.

JackTheLad

'Soulmate' implies that you have the same goals in life. And a future direction together.

If she doesn't have the same goals, and doesn't agree with the direction you want to go, then you are not, and will not be 'soulmates'.

Sorry if thats a bit blunt, its late,

Good luck whatever you choose,

JTL

BSherlock

I noticed that 'love' never came into the equation?

I would say that at your age (Same age as me) unless you really find it difficult to meet people, you should just go for it.

I went to Australia after a messy break up from long term relationship (she never wanted to go to Oz) and met the woman of my dreams. She flew to England to live with me for a couple of years, we're now engaged, have a baby on the way and are migrating back to OZ in Jan.

You only live once, your choice! But I say go with your heart, you'll regret it later if you don't!

teach

Hi Marty,
Not any easy one this, if I were in the same situation I would follow my heart. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Sarah

Mastermind

I couldn't more agree with you !!

Fred

Sophie Louise

That's an incredibly difficult question...

You say a soul mate is someone who you think it would be great to grow old with, and I'd agree with that. But my plans in terms of getting old involve adventure, travel, and packing as much in as possible. If the person I was with didn't see those things in their future then I guess maybe they wouldn't necessarily be the person with whom I would think it great to grow old...

People change as they age, and the person you're with now may be a very different person as they get older (as might you), so I guess it partially comes down to what you are prepared to chance.

Before being with the person I'm with now I was fairly opposed to the idea of camping!! (Holidays in hotels were fine...) Since being with this person (who I would describe as my soulmate) I have been on a 3 month camping trip (on motorbike) around Europe, and can't wait to plan our next trips in the States and Africa. I simply couldn't have imagined that in previous (long term) relationships.

I guess to me 'soulmate' means the person with whom everything sounds great, and there isn't anything I wouldn't want to do or try, but this is a very personal answer, and your own situation may be different!!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Sophie

Dmartyos

Thanks all for your views. Its not something that comes easy to a guy to speak about.

I have some serious thinking to do, we talked about it yesterday & agreed that with spending more time together is the best indication as to whether things are ment to work out & plan things to do.

I would say it is potential soulmate & I havent mentioned Love as I never really do until I am 100% confident in the person & only time & experience will give me this.

So for now, gonna enjoy myself, make a fuss of the young lady, make it impossible for her to wanna say no! If it comes to it, validate visa & then work out a plan for the future if everything still stays the same (the person has never been to Oz before). Unfortuantely the relationship began after inital application for visa last year.

Its a huge question & situation to be in, I gotta stick to my plan , even if it means going later then expected & hope that the other person decides "hey that sounds like a good break, maybe go there & see what life is like for a while". For me that would be the result!

Thanks for your time though, I doubt Id have the same conversation with the lads down the pub here ! Cheers Marty

swissfabs

Hi Marty,

Well u brought that up and i am actually in the same position as you.

I am going to go, fulfill my dreams and leave my partner here because thats where he wants to be here, in his mountains.

Some people see me as being really selfish but i know i love him, he doesnt want to come and i dont want to force him but he wants me to be 100% and therefore i need to go. its going to be tough, we dont know if we are going to stay together or not but we both know that I am missing a piece of the jigsaw. Once i have found this piece then we will see if love is still in our court!!!

i thought about staying a bit longer, eg. a couple of years here with him but we both know it will not solve me wanting to go and it might be harder later.

lets see after 2 years!!!

good luck, i know its not easy!!!

fabie

andy thomas

If I was in your situation having already submitted my application I'd now be booking a holiday to Australia for the 2 of you. It might just have the desired effect. I decided 12 years ago whilst holidaying in Australia that this was the place for me. Sometimes you just have to see something to want it, it could work.

Andy

Milo

Hi Marty,

IF! this is your soulmate then shouldn't they follow!
Hope it all works out for you.

Marie

jonni boy

thats a tricky one matey but from my/our point of view i love my wife and she is the best thing that's ever happened to me,she has given me 3 beautiful little daughters and she is a great wife and a good mother and i like to think that i would put her before anything else but as she say's, if she backed out of moving to australia we would end up getting divorced as i would hold it against her for the rest of our live's as it's something i want so bad.........