Read this
Jan 11th 2007 | 10:24 pm
#16
on the Goldie
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 12,364
From: 4226.au
Re: Read this
OMG can i send my visa back!!!! is it really that bad
Jan 12th 2007 | 12:37 am
#17
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,690
From: Bonnie Scotland
Re: Read this
DIARY OF AN ENGLISHMAN WHO MOVED TO
THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS
AUGUST 12TH
Moved to our new home in Aberdeen. I’m so excited. It is beautiful here. The hills look so majestic can hardly wait to see the snow. The garden’s beautiful and there are loads of bunnies hopping around. Isn’t nature wonderful?
OCTOBER 14TH
Aberdeen, it’s the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have all turned hues of orange and red. Went for a drive in the beautiful valleys and saw some deer. They are such graceful beasts. They come down low at this time of year but are at risk from those cruel poachers. Can’t imagine why anyone would want to kill them. They are certainly the most wonderful creatures on earth.
NOVEMBER 30TH
St. Andrew’s Day. Really getting into the place now. Can’t wait for the snow. I love it here.
DECEMBER 19TH
Yes it’s started snowing. The first real snow I’ve seen here. I took out some buttered scones and sat by the window watching the snowflakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground, and the wee rabbits were skipping around and trying to dodge the flakes. It was so beautiful.
DECEMBER 20TH
Awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Looked like a Christmas card. Every tree and shrub was covered with a white mantle. We went outside and had a snowball fight and then energetically shovelled snow for the first time and loved it. I did both the driveway and the pavement. Later the council’s snowplough accidentally covered the driveway with the compact snow from the street, but the driver smiled and waved so I waved back and shovelled again. What a beautiful place I love it.
DECEMBER 21ST
It snowed an additional 4 inches last night, temperature dropped to minus 10. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow, and the rabbits are having to dig for their food. I shovelled the driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough man came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now a brownish grey. Blisters appearing on my hands due to the shovelling.
DECEMBER 22ND
Warmed up during the day to create some slush and saw some patches of grass, to reveal that the bastard rabbits had eaten all my bulbs. Slush soon turned to ice as the temperature dropped again. I bought some snow tyres for the car. Fell on my arse on the frozen rabbit shit in the driveway, £750 for the chiropractor, but nothing broken. ****in’ vermin!! More snow and ice forecast.
DECEMBER 23RD
Bitterly cold. Sold the car and bought a 4x4 in order to get to work. Slid into some Armco crash barrier and inflicted considerable damage to the right rear quarter of the 4x4. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads. Had another 5 inches of the white shit last night. 4x4 covered in snow and slush, more shovelling in store for me today. That bloody snowplough came by twice today, BASTARD.
DECEMBER 24TH
Minus 15 degrees outside today. More ****ing snow. Not a tree, shrub or bulb on the property that hasn’t been damaged or eaten. Power was off most of the night, tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater, which I tripped over and nearly burnt the bloody house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered second degree burns to my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. 4x4 slid on the way to the hospital and was almost written off.
DECEMBER 25TH
Merry ****ing Christmas. That white shit still keeps coming ****ing down! Have to put on all the clothes I have just to get to the post-box. If I ever get to that son of a bitch that drives the snowplough, I’ll chew his chest and rip his ****ing heart out. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling, then comes down the road about 100 miles an hour and buries our driveway again. Power still off, the toilet has frozen over now, and part of the roof has started to cave in due to the weight of the snow. Weatherman has predicted another 6 inches of snow tonight. Do you know how many shovelfuls 6 inches is?
DECEMBER 26TH
****ing weatherman was wrong: not 6inches but 12 inches of the ****ing stuff fell last night. The snowplough got stuck up the road and the driver asked to borrow my shovel!! I wounded the arsehole with my ice pick, but the bastard got away. I can’t move or feel my toes and there is more snow predicted. Wind chill factor 32 ****ing degrees below.
DECEMBER 30TH
Finally got out of the house today. Drove to the shops to get some supplies and on the way back, a damned deer ran out in front of the 4x4, did about £3000 of damage. Those ****ing beasts should all be shot. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the poachers had exterminated the lot in the autumn.
DECEMBER 31ST
Took the 4x4 to the garage. It’ll be weeks before I get it back as they’re closed for Hogmany. Would you believe it, the bloody thing is rusted underneath from all that ****ing salt they put all over the roads.
SEE YOU SOON – I’M COMING HOME!
THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS
AUGUST 12TH
Moved to our new home in Aberdeen. I’m so excited. It is beautiful here. The hills look so majestic can hardly wait to see the snow. The garden’s beautiful and there are loads of bunnies hopping around. Isn’t nature wonderful?
OCTOBER 14TH
Aberdeen, it’s the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have all turned hues of orange and red. Went for a drive in the beautiful valleys and saw some deer. They are such graceful beasts. They come down low at this time of year but are at risk from those cruel poachers. Can’t imagine why anyone would want to kill them. They are certainly the most wonderful creatures on earth.
NOVEMBER 30TH
St. Andrew’s Day. Really getting into the place now. Can’t wait for the snow. I love it here.
DECEMBER 19TH
Yes it’s started snowing. The first real snow I’ve seen here. I took out some buttered scones and sat by the window watching the snowflakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground, and the wee rabbits were skipping around and trying to dodge the flakes. It was so beautiful.
DECEMBER 20TH
Awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Looked like a Christmas card. Every tree and shrub was covered with a white mantle. We went outside and had a snowball fight and then energetically shovelled snow for the first time and loved it. I did both the driveway and the pavement. Later the council’s snowplough accidentally covered the driveway with the compact snow from the street, but the driver smiled and waved so I waved back and shovelled again. What a beautiful place I love it.
DECEMBER 21ST
It snowed an additional 4 inches last night, temperature dropped to minus 10. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow, and the rabbits are having to dig for their food. I shovelled the driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough man came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now a brownish grey. Blisters appearing on my hands due to the shovelling.
DECEMBER 22ND
Warmed up during the day to create some slush and saw some patches of grass, to reveal that the bastard rabbits had eaten all my bulbs. Slush soon turned to ice as the temperature dropped again. I bought some snow tyres for the car. Fell on my arse on the frozen rabbit shit in the driveway, £750 for the chiropractor, but nothing broken. ****in’ vermin!! More snow and ice forecast.
DECEMBER 23RD
Bitterly cold. Sold the car and bought a 4x4 in order to get to work. Slid into some Armco crash barrier and inflicted considerable damage to the right rear quarter of the 4x4. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads. Had another 5 inches of the white shit last night. 4x4 covered in snow and slush, more shovelling in store for me today. That bloody snowplough came by twice today, BASTARD.
DECEMBER 24TH
Minus 15 degrees outside today. More ****ing snow. Not a tree, shrub or bulb on the property that hasn’t been damaged or eaten. Power was off most of the night, tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater, which I tripped over and nearly burnt the bloody house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered second degree burns to my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. 4x4 slid on the way to the hospital and was almost written off.
DECEMBER 25TH
Merry ****ing Christmas. That white shit still keeps coming ****ing down! Have to put on all the clothes I have just to get to the post-box. If I ever get to that son of a bitch that drives the snowplough, I’ll chew his chest and rip his ****ing heart out. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling, then comes down the road about 100 miles an hour and buries our driveway again. Power still off, the toilet has frozen over now, and part of the roof has started to cave in due to the weight of the snow. Weatherman has predicted another 6 inches of snow tonight. Do you know how many shovelfuls 6 inches is?
DECEMBER 26TH
****ing weatherman was wrong: not 6inches but 12 inches of the ****ing stuff fell last night. The snowplough got stuck up the road and the driver asked to borrow my shovel!! I wounded the arsehole with my ice pick, but the bastard got away. I can’t move or feel my toes and there is more snow predicted. Wind chill factor 32 ****ing degrees below.
DECEMBER 30TH
Finally got out of the house today. Drove to the shops to get some supplies and on the way back, a damned deer ran out in front of the 4x4, did about £3000 of damage. Those ****ing beasts should all be shot. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the poachers had exterminated the lot in the autumn.
DECEMBER 31ST
Took the 4x4 to the garage. It’ll be weeks before I get it back as they’re closed for Hogmany. Would you believe it, the bloody thing is rusted underneath from all that ****ing salt they put all over the roads.
SEE YOU SOON – I’M COMING HOME!
Jan 12th 2007 | 1:04 am
#18
on the Goldie
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 12,364
From: 4226.au
Re: Read this
hey Jan
absolutely brill.MAGIC
absolutely brill.MAGIC
Jan 12th 2007 | 1:12 am
#19
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,918
Re: Read this
Someone sent me this early today and I just wanted to pass it on as it really made me smile
It sums up the weather in Bris pretty well:
Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom). Note the dates…
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is
a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes
the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't
it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000
worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the
palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out
of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are *****ing kidding
It sums up the weather in Bris pretty well:
Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom). Note the dates…
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is
a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes
the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't
it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000
worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the
palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out
of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are *****ing kidding
Jan 12th 2007 | 2:53 am
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,604
From: From Scotland to Brisbane
Re: Read this
Hi yeah Scottish snow gets you every time!!! so funny !!!Donna & Neil
Jan 12th 2007 | 3:31 am
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 41
Re: Read this
Someone sent me this early today and I just wanted to pass it on as it really made me smile
It sums up the weather in Bris pretty well:
Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom). Note the dates…
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is
a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes
the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't
it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000
worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the
palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out
of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are *****ing kidding
It sums up the weather in Bris pretty well:
Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom). Note the dates…
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is
a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes
the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't
it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000
worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the
palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out
of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are *****ing kidding
Its not Brisbane-Thats Mt ISA!!!!!!!! Honest
Jan 12th 2007 | 5:55 am
#23
Account Closed
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,424
Re: Read this
Someone sent me this early today and I just wanted to pass it on as it really made me smile
It sums up the weather in Bris pretty well:
Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom). Note the dates…
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is
a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes
the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't
it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000
worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the
palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out
of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are *****ing kidding
It sums up the weather in Bris pretty well:
Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom). Note the dates…
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is
a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes
the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't
it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000
worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the
palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out
of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are *****ing kidding
LMAO
Bit warmer than the Uk then, assuming i'm safe to say that living a few thousand miles away
LOl @ bailing you out of jail. So other than the weather hows it going?
Jen
