Thunderduck

I was forwarded here by members on another forum, who suggested this was the best place to ask questions on behalf of my dp who has gotten it into his head that we should move to Australia once we've both finished our degrees/PHDs.

I'll admit I'm not at all fond of the idea of moving so far from home. However I promised I'd ask a few questions on his behalf.

For those who moved to Australia. Did it live up to your expectations? Was culture shock an issue for you? And how long did it take to go through the process of being granted permission to move there? How long was it before it finally felt like home.

He lived there for a year when he was a teen, he seems to be convinced that it's Utopia, even though he's had no experience of it since then.

I'm very reluctant to leave Scotland, but I'm trying to keep an open mind.

Any advice would be appreciated.

MartinH

Have a read of this:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=577424

Thunderduck

TY. I'll show that to my dp.

It's exactly how I'd feel if I move there I suspect.

I love Scotland. The thought of moving to anywhere with huge and/or lethal bugs scares me.

I hate the heat. He loves it.

I hate most sports. He loves them all, except football/soccer.

We'll make those lists up, though I suspect my list about pros of moving to Australia will be 1 or 2 lines at most.

Australia_bound?

Has to be a joint decision, have been many people on here who've moved because the other partner wanted to, for some it's worked others it hasn't.

If you're saying no then talk it through with your other half and see what he comes up with. Took my Mrs to Aus for extended holiday to sell it to her!

Paddy_M

I have friends who have been over for 3 years and have not actually seen any. Guess it depends where you live.

No doubt you will eventually come across them.

Thunderduck

We are planning on a trip to Australia, though I'm not sure which area. He's hoping that will be enough to convince me, though everything I've read suggests it isn't for me.

I'll try to keep an open mind though, and I'd be willing to live there for a year to try it out, though I don't think I'd cope very well with the heat.

quoll

It's a b*gger when one of you wants to be here and the other doesnt! I guess it all comes down to whether you love him enough to compromise and be where you dont want to be.

Personally I stay here only because the DH wont go home (he is an Aussie and thinks he would be unhappy if he had to live in UK) and I cant be bothered training up a new one after all these years. However, it isnt where my heart is and though there are some days when getting out of bed is a real challenge, of course I can live my life here and you probably could do too, it's just that it isnt the life you really want to be leading. It all boils down to the strength of your relationship and if you can persuade him that his part in the compromise is to guarantee that if you loathe it then he will take you home.

OTOH you may love it - just dont go for somewhere where there is constant heat (but you are going to get a hot few weeks pretty much anywhere except Tasmania)

Thunderduck

Part of me feels guilty about getting a practically free Scottish education, then disappearing off to Australia.

That's good advice Quoll. We'll certainly need to discuss that if I hate it intensely if he'd be happy to return.

My dp is English, but has lived here in Scotland for a few years and feels no real tie to any particular country, unlike me, I have a very strong attachment to my city and country.

I get homesick when I go on holiday, and a week is the longest I care to spend abroad, with the exception of Munich, I love it so much there, so I think I'd spend most of my time feeling miserable,unable to enjoy life in Australia.

He thinks the lifestyle will be better there, but I'm not convinced, and I think the UK is one of the best countries to live in.

I would consider living there for a year, is that long enough to get an idea of if I could live there permanently or not? Or would I just be settling in after a year then disappearing meaning I never really get a taste of what life is like there?

pogsy

Difficult to make the assumption on the UK being one of the best countries to live in, with all due respect until you have lived somewhere else to compare.

Thunderduck

Very true, but I'm quite content here. I have a long list of reasons, believe it or not, one being the weather., the weather suits me very well.

I hear a lot of people in the UK moaning about how they want to move abroad because of the weather,crime,people,prices etc and none of those things bother me.

I think the UK is a good fit for me, I'm not convinced, from everything I've read so far, that Australia would be. Though I do believe my partner would be in heaven there.

jackhigh

Stay right where you are!!!!!

I had no desire to want to move to Oz, been for a holiday and quite frankly couldn't see what all the fuss was about, but let my OH talk me round to moving here last year.
Complete disaster. Moving back in March.
As has been said before it has to be a joint decision but if your hearts not in it then dont come, just causes a lot of heartache.
You're right to think that the UK is one of the best places to live in, because it is. Been there, done it, cant wait to get back. By all means come for a holiday and see what you think, but dont be pushed into making a decision that you know isn't right. PM me if you have any questions

Thunderduck

TY, I think I will pm you with a few questions.

Thunderduck

If I do emigrate I want to be enthusiastic about the move, or at least completely comfortable with it. Perhaps that's idealistic but I think I'd need to be in that frame of mind, to really give Australia a chance. But I don't think such a state of mind will ever be possible for me.

I'd miss family too, and the thought of being so far from them and my home city isn't all appealing. Even with telephones and the internet.

Plus I really can't be bothered going through the process of applying, and being rejected time after time, though I've been told that our future professions are pretty desirable over there.

bourbon-biscuit

I don't agree with that- if you're perfectly happy where you are then you've no need to live somewhere else before deciding it's best. That's kind of like saying you need to have heaps of other relationships before you decide your spouse is the one for you, which is blatantly not true. My dad is a rather wise chap and a very content one at that; he doesn't understand my wanderlust and lives his life by the mantra "happiness is wanting what you've got". I'm just not wired up like that but I only have respect (and a little envy, lol) for those that are.

To the OP, if you're relatively young with no career to wreck etc and Oz is an itch your partner needs to scratch, then a year working holiday sounds a great compromise, but only if you're both very clear from the start that there's no pressure on you to then commit beyond the year. In fact, I'd shy from a 'we'll try it for a year and decide' sort of arrangement as that puts heaps of pressure on you, and opt for just a straight year. If you love it and he loves it at the end of the year then you can always revise your plans then, but go on return tickets with no pressure on your relationship. Good luck and have fun I love Australia (from a not yet lived there pov) and am but a few sleeps from moving there

Petals

Reading your posts it would not work, you do not want to come to Australia so you would be miserable and not like it.

However if you both like different things may be its best to find this out early in the piece. One of you is going to be miserable who would want that for life.

Migrating is difficult when people are eager to do it so if you are not in the least bit interested cannot see how you can do it.

Think you need to have a long heart to heart. Good luck.

Also do not fall for the line, if you do not like it we will return. My friend here in Aus moved from Victoria to Queensland ten years ago and her oh told her he would return to Vic if she did not like it she is still waiting.