cypry

After being here for 15 months a friend from the Uk came out to see us. A friend of over 25 years....... Is was great to start with but then I came to the conclusion that we had nothing in common anymore. Ok he is a single bloke of 40 and wants to do single bloke things but I have a family of three kids all under 5 and our priorities were completely different. It seemed like everything I tried to do with him wasn't good enough. Great Ocean Rd for 4 days, Dandenong mountains, golf, quite a few nights out (understanding wife I have) and 2 days at the Cricket I could go on. Also kept going on about how quiet and shit our suburb is (Bentleigh) Well Vegas it aint but we love it cos its quiet and good for the kids. Maybe its me but dropped him off at airport yesterday and must say wasn't sorry... Looking forward to getting back to normal. Think I won't encourage anymore old friends to come out here, just can't please em!!

thebears

Bentleigh is lovely - used to pass through it on my way to work. Must be saying hurtful things for the sake of it. Vegas is only up the road at Crown or Chapel street. Actually thinking back to similar situation I think he may actually be jealous

Next time take me to the Cricket and I will let you win at Golf - my wife is less understanding about numerous drunken lad nights out.

ElshaUK

Sometimes it takes being in a new environment to see how much you have moved on from where your friends currently are. I mean, my OH doesn't miss his mates as much as I thought he would as there is only 1 out of them that is still single - the rest have got married and 1 of them has a child too.

We are not married (as yet) or have children (as yet) but we've been together for 9 years. His friends always thought he was mad when he would consult with me before organising a night out etc....when really, he was just being courteous!

NOW they see the whole situation (except the single guy, who still thinks it is possible to drop everything and meet at the pub at a minutes notice)

Sounds like you organised a hell of a lot of things for your mate, and your wife was understanding of the time you had with your friend which is lovely. Your friend is obviously at a different place in his life....so don't worry!

You sound like a good mate

(sorry for rambling - been down pub for 4 pints tonight)

Bordy

He sounds bloody rude to me.

yanH

I'll second that. I think I'd have told him to take an early taxi to the airport!

Centurion

People who come to visit are on holiday and expect a holiday type vacation. Whereas we live here and enjoy our nice towns/burbs and where we choose to live.

You'd want to perhaps go to Movieworld or a casino, but you wouldnt want to live next to one.

We've found much the same with visitors, they are on holiday and forget that you are not. Now we just pack them in a hire car, throw a map at them and lend them the sat nav just in case.

I've long since given up showing people around anymore apart from the odd day and dont like to eat out much as it interferes with training, so just make it very clear before they come, all in a very nice way of course.

grahampaula

He should have been grateful that you had gone to so much trouble, after all you could have not bothered to arrange anything at all for him. My husband and I were talking the other day about how ungrateful some people are and a lot of comments made seem to be out of jealousy. We said that we would like to come back and visit in about 10 years time and were having bets on who would still be sat in the same place in the pub, doing the same jobs etc.
Full credit to your wife, I do not think that I could have been that understanding knowing that it was not appreciated, I would have probably suggested that he took a plane ride for a few days to explore other areas.

cypry

I think your right he is at a completely different place in his life right now, confused and not knowing what he really wants. Still it doesn't excuse a little gratidude for what we tried to do, I even turned down a job worth $3500.00 to spend time with him when we really could have done with the money. I really have learnt a lesson and will be telling any future visitors to hire a car and get on with it (nicely though). Must say its so nice to get the house back in order and get back on track with things. Really glad we left all that part of our old lives behind now.

ElshaUK

He should have been grateful for the things you did with him. I mean, you took time out to show him around and do things.

I can understand it feeling nice to have your house back in order and be surrounded by your family

Have some K for being a good friend

suzimc

I don't think people can really appreciate what it's like being an ex-pat or migrant unless they have been there themselves, so I think they just don't really think about how they should be acting, because they can't fully appreciate what it is like for you.

Just noticed in your signature that you are from my old stomping ground...I went to school in Chertsey.

Kapri

It sounds like something positive came out of it.
Instead of thinking back to your old life wistfully you have recognised that you have moved on.
You seem very lucky. It sounds like you are in a great place( We hope to be there later this year) and you have a very understanding wife.

brissydeb

You went completely out your way to make him have a great time, to be honest it sounds as if he is maybe slightly jealous of your new life from what you said the way he was acting as nothing was good enough. I'm sure the average guy does not fit in as many activities into the one holiday as what he did.