Nowt to do with Aus but....
Jun 6th 2005, 2:44 pm
#1
NorthLakes, Brissy
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Bridgehaven release - North Lakes!
Posts: 2,423
Nowt to do with Aus but....
i am bored and i someone emailed me this and i thought it quite funny....
14 things a man (or anyone with time on their hands...) can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.
02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."
14 things a man (or anyone with time on their hands...) can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.
02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."
Jun 6th 2005, 3:15 pm
#2
Tupperware's #1 fan
Joined: May 2004
Location: Crawley West Sussex
Posts: 2,315
Re: Nowt to do with Aus but....
Originally Posted by wargod
i am bored and i someone emailed me this and i thought it quite funny....
14 things a man (or anyone with time on their hands...) can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.
02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."
14 things a man (or anyone with time on their hands...) can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.
02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."
Jun 6th 2005, 4:33 pm
#3
......in the sand !
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Perth, WA :)
Posts: 4,421
Re: Nowt to do with Aus but....
Originally Posted by wargod
i am bored and i someone emailed me this and i thought it quite funny....
14 things a man (or anyone with time on their hands...) can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.
02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."
14 things a man (or anyone with time on their hands...) can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.
02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."
3, 10 & 14 my favs - must go and try them
Jun 6th 2005, 4:34 pm
#4
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Nowt to do with Aus but....
Nice one.
Jun 6th 2005, 5:12 pm
#5
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Carina, Brisvegas
Posts: 547
Re: Nowt to do with Aus but....
Now don't go giving my kid ideas. In Selfridges on Sunday he went to every computer on display in the computer dept, created a html document and typed "Don't buy from Selfridges they eat babies". I just tried to look like he was nothing to do with me 
