British Expats

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-   -   The New Migration Procedure (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/new-migration-procedure-331739/)

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 12:56 pm

The New Migration Procedure
 
Yes it's true, Australia have stated new criteria for POMS to enter Australia.

Future migrants will have to do the following if they want to get in;

1. Get a haircut like Steve Irwin and wear skin tight shorts that show off a trouser bulge.

2. Eat Lamingtons (eugghhhh) several times a day and wash it down with OJ.

3. Tell everyone that 'the flies are SO cool' and that you don't mind them one bit.

4. Play nothing but bogan music (I dont know what constitutes Bogan music but Im sure some of you will know)

5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.

6. Watch Neighbours and Home And Away and start dressing like one of the characters.

7. Practise eating all your food with flies on it and if you eat a fly then chew it hard and say 'you beauty'.

8. Have an affair with a surfboard and kiss it in full view of the public. Call it 'Genelle or Stevo'.

9. Talk non stop about sharks, the ocean and Aborigines.

10. Wear knickers in the form of the Australian flag.


There is no need for the TRA and all that DIMIA rubbish now, if you do the above without moaning, you will be sure to get in.

No, really. :D

Feel free to add your own suggestions

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 1:04 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 
Oh yes, and watch Cell Block H for 12 hours.

Boomie Oct 16th 2005 1:07 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 
1 Attachment(s)

Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Oh yes, and watch Cell Block H for 12 hours.


omg..... i went to see that at the theatre royal in hanley, staffordshire.....


i was gonna put......


get in touch with fashion........ bold statements are in!

boomie
x

The Johnstons Oct 16th 2005 1:10 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 

Originally Posted by Professional Princess
10. Wear knickers in the form of the Australian flag.

Where can you get these from? Am starting rehearsals straight away :D

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 1:12 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 
Does anyone know where we can get girls panties in the style of the Aussie flag?

Or better still, with John Howard on them so that is as close as Johnny will get to my beaver.

lacey21 Oct 16th 2005 1:23 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 
Will you pack it in with these bloody threads, once agin you nearly killed me. I have enough from you when you said you had to do the load bearing test lol
(doing handstands) I beleived that one

stop it you little tinker

lol
lace x

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 2:02 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 

Originally Posted by lacey21
Will you pack it in with these bloody threads, once agin you nearly killed me. I have enough from you when you said you had to do the load bearing test lol
(doing handstands) I beleived that one

stop it you little tinker

lol
lace x


Yes but you need to add to my list lacey.

And where can we get Aussie flag panties?

Where I ask you?

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 2:04 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 
And you have to buy the latest Rolf Harris album.

You do, its real, you ask Alan, he will clarify.

purple rain Oct 16th 2005 2:09 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 
PP
have to say hubby (bless him) loves this one......
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
lol
jacqui

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 2:12 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 

Originally Posted by s/nurse
PP
have to say hubby (bless him) loves this one......
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
lol
jacqui


Yes, but you have to look real pretty while you do it. :D

purple rain Oct 16th 2005 2:15 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 

Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Yes, but you have to look real pretty while you do it. :D

he'll need to trade me in then cos I can't see me doing no 5. and the above just won't happen :D

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 2:18 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 

Originally Posted by s/nurse
he'll need to trade me in then cos I can't see me doing no 5. and the above just won't happen :D


I dont mind Rolf Harris, if it were Celine Dion then I really would cry.

I think DIMIA might add in a talent contest for girls and boys.

We have to parade up and down the beach in Surfers Paradise and the men will need to wear speedos.

purple rain Oct 16th 2005 3:32 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 

Originally Posted by Professional Princess
I dont mind Rolf Harris, if it were Celine Dion then I really would cry.

I think DIMIA might add in a talent contest for girls and boys.

We have to parade up and down the beach in Surfers Paradise and the men will need to wear speedos.

Now if hubby has to wear speedos they just ain't gonna let him in :scared:
jacqui :D

Cheetah7 Oct 16th 2005 3:39 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 

Originally Posted by s/nurse
Now if hubby has to wear speedos they just ain't gonna let him in :scared:
jacqui :D


Actually I think speedos should be illegal unless you are a man from DIMIA with an exceedingly large penis.

Because in my stories, all men from DIMIA are built that way.

manxfamily Oct 16th 2005 5:37 pm

Re: The New Migration Procedure
 
shit, ive wasted a shedload of money. I do all of the above anyway!! dont we all?


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