The New Migration Procedure
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
The New Migration Procedure
Yes it's true, Australia have stated new criteria for POMS to enter Australia.
Future migrants will have to do the following if they want to get in;
1. Get a haircut like Steve Irwin and wear skin tight shorts that show off a trouser bulge.
2. Eat Lamingtons (eugghhhh) several times a day and wash it down with OJ.
3. Tell everyone that 'the flies are SO cool' and that you don't mind them one bit.
4. Play nothing but bogan music (I dont know what constitutes Bogan music but Im sure some of you will know)
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
6. Watch Neighbours and Home And Away and start dressing like one of the characters.
7. Practise eating all your food with flies on it and if you eat a fly then chew it hard and say 'you beauty'.
8. Have an affair with a surfboard and kiss it in full view of the public. Call it 'Genelle or Stevo'.
9. Talk non stop about sharks, the ocean and Aborigines.
10. Wear knickers in the form of the Australian flag.
There is no need for the TRA and all that DIMIA rubbish now, if you do the above without moaning, you will be sure to get in.
No, really.
Feel free to add your own suggestions
Future migrants will have to do the following if they want to get in;
1. Get a haircut like Steve Irwin and wear skin tight shorts that show off a trouser bulge.
2. Eat Lamingtons (eugghhhh) several times a day and wash it down with OJ.
3. Tell everyone that 'the flies are SO cool' and that you don't mind them one bit.
4. Play nothing but bogan music (I dont know what constitutes Bogan music but Im sure some of you will know)
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
6. Watch Neighbours and Home And Away and start dressing like one of the characters.
7. Practise eating all your food with flies on it and if you eat a fly then chew it hard and say 'you beauty'.
8. Have an affair with a surfboard and kiss it in full view of the public. Call it 'Genelle or Stevo'.
9. Talk non stop about sharks, the ocean and Aborigines.
10. Wear knickers in the form of the Australian flag.
There is no need for the TRA and all that DIMIA rubbish now, if you do the above without moaning, you will be sure to get in.
No, really.
Feel free to add your own suggestions
#2
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Oh yes, and watch Cell Block H for 12 hours.
#3
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Oh yes, and watch Cell Block H for 12 hours.
omg..... i went to see that at the theatre royal in hanley, staffordshire.....
i was gonna put......
get in touch with fashion........ bold statements are in!
boomie
x
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Hillarys, Perth
Posts: 555
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
10. Wear knickers in the form of the Australian flag.
#5
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Does anyone know where we can get girls panties in the style of the Aussie flag?
Or better still, with John Howard on them so that is as close as Johnny will get to my beaver.
Or better still, with John Howard on them so that is as close as Johnny will get to my beaver.
#6
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Will you pack it in with these bloody threads, once agin you nearly killed me. I have enough from you when you said you had to do the load bearing test lol
(doing handstands) I beleived that one
stop it you little tinker
lol
lace x
(doing handstands) I beleived that one
stop it you little tinker
lol
lace x
#7
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by lacey21
Will you pack it in with these bloody threads, once agin you nearly killed me. I have enough from you when you said you had to do the load bearing test lol
(doing handstands) I beleived that one
stop it you little tinker
lol
lace x
(doing handstands) I beleived that one
stop it you little tinker
lol
lace x
Yes but you need to add to my list lacey.
And where can we get Aussie flag panties?
Where I ask you?
#8
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: The New Migration Procedure
And you have to buy the latest Rolf Harris album.
You do, its real, you ask Alan, he will clarify.
You do, its real, you ask Alan, he will clarify.
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,672
Re: The New Migration Procedure
PP
have to say hubby (bless him) loves this one......
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
lol
jacqui
have to say hubby (bless him) loves this one......
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
lol
jacqui
#10
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by s/nurse
PP
have to say hubby (bless him) loves this one......
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
lol
jacqui
have to say hubby (bless him) loves this one......
5. If you are female, then you will need to learn how to hand your man his chilled beer, put Aussie Rules footie on the TV AND do the housework.
lol
jacqui
Yes, but you have to look real pretty while you do it.
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,672
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Yes, but you have to look real pretty while you do it.
#12
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by s/nurse
he'll need to trade me in then cos I can't see me doing no 5. and the above just won't happen
I dont mind Rolf Harris, if it were Celine Dion then I really would cry.
I think DIMIA might add in a talent contest for girls and boys.
We have to parade up and down the beach in Surfers Paradise and the men will need to wear speedos.
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,672
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
I dont mind Rolf Harris, if it were Celine Dion then I really would cry.
I think DIMIA might add in a talent contest for girls and boys.
We have to parade up and down the beach in Surfers Paradise and the men will need to wear speedos.
I think DIMIA might add in a talent contest for girls and boys.
We have to parade up and down the beach in Surfers Paradise and the men will need to wear speedos.
jacqui
#14
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: The New Migration Procedure
Originally Posted by s/nurse
Now if hubby has to wear speedos they just ain't gonna let him in :scared:
jacqui
jacqui
Actually I think speedos should be illegal unless you are a man from DIMIA with an exceedingly large penis.
Because in my stories, all men from DIMIA are built that way.
#15
Re: The New Migration Procedure
shit, ive wasted a shedload of money. I do all of the above anyway!! dont we all?