ABCDiamond

Negativity vs Positivity

Reading a lot of threads recently, most posters seem to be pretty reasonable, with both good and bad points mentioned.

But there a few that prefer to post extreme views, and I have been wondering why.

One complaint about the Australian, is the fact that they always seem to think that they are so good at things. So I wondered; why is that the case? Maybe they teach positivity in school ? Are the kids actually taught to think well of themselves, and to think that they can do things?

A comment from MikeStanton made me consider this.
Where else but UK can you nearly run a person down on a zebra crossing and that person says "Sorry!" ?!
in this thread:
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...30#post1399230

and another comment from someone else that returned to the UK:
avoid reading the British papers, they're all doom and gloom!

This made me wonder about the British these days, if the papers are that bad, then it's not suprising that people will have feelings of negativity.

Is that why so many are wanting to leave the UK ?

If it is, then people coming here must realise that when they do get here they must find a way to adapt, and accept the Australian way of what appears to be "Positive thinking".

Most people have read badgersmount's posts. He fits in to this country, so very easily it would seem, I personaly think he is over the top with enthusiasm, but then again I am a reserved Brit, and its taken me a while to "sort of" fit in.

You've all read the posts from people with negative feelings, who want to return, or who have returned to the UK.

The bottom line is a question for everyone.

Do you think that you need to feel positive about life to fit in, or will you fit in just as well if you feel very negative ?

I'm not sure what I agree with, but these are just my thoughts that I think are worth sharing.

I've just read what i've written, and one word springs to mind "rambling". But if it helps anyone in their thinking, then its worth it

Badge

Thanks ABC..of course the way you come over on a forum is always different from the reality.

I post without ever checking my spelling, what I've written etc.

I do OK over here because

1) I like Australian culture, sports lifestyle. There is no missing anything, no whinging.
2) I've always been able to get on with anyone or anybody.
3) I am a positive person who has got around a fair bit so is able to bring a lot of life's experience and skill to different, awkward, stressful situations. I am very multi-faceted and multi-skilled. I guess I am your annoying man down the pub who 'knows everything'(!!) Although of course I don't. This gives me alot of confidence, but I am always laid back with it.

(Sure I also like to have a laugh at my own expense, when I am with friends I bring my enthusiasm out. I can also be quiet when the situation demands it. Those who know me well also know I can be very tolerant, sensitive to people, patient and diplomatic.- I'm not all gung ho.)

The one reason I think I do well over here in terms of positivity is because I am admittedly generous in spirit, positive spirit, which doesn't cost much. This is the one thing I see everywhere in Australia. Of course, you get in the UK too but it's often with caveats or after you've known someone for a while. Or you get confidence in the UK, but it is a negative confidence. I can't otherwise explain it. If you don't know what I mean then you don't get it and will probably hate the Australian version.

I'd also like to say of course that not all Australians are positive or happy or whatever we want to call it, but they all recognise it as a good trait. Hence the Australian 'good on ya' etc. British people tend to reward stubborn effort, luck and drive less. Maybe it is just reserve.

BM

ABCDiamond

Badgers

I don't think I will ever get to "fit in" in the same way as you.

I still think that "football" is a game played with the feet, not the hands

However, I am beginning to accept that I am becoming more Australian now. I am even beginning to add the word "but" onto the end of some of my sentences..

I spent a long time not fitting in, just wishing they would do things my way, the British way! Too many of us do that.

Too many of us want Australia to be more like the UK.

Too many of us compare, and keep comparing, the two countries.

When we do that, in extremes, we won't fit in, and we may as well go home, because home is where we fit in.

A lot of things came home to me these last few days, when I used the words "Whinging Pom" under my breath. It was the very first time I had used the phrase, and made me realise I had crossed the line, i'd become more Australian than British !!

But, I actually want to remain British, because that's what I was born as, that's what I was brought up as. I want to like BOTH countries, and that's what we should ALL do.

Yers, point out the bad points, that information is NEEDED by prospective migrants, but Good Lord, critisising Australia because it hasn't made as many inventions as the British !!

Leave that sort of thing out of this forum, let the media have that sort of sensationalism.

This forum is for more useful information, to help others make informed decisions, or have I got it all wrong ?

Or did I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed today ?

And yes, I do think the price of lettuce is a usefull thing to discuss

young_lad

I thought that was a little ironic to say the least (I'm talking about Mike asking for evidence of positive contributions).

Badge

Good on ya ABC.

(sigh)

on that note, and with my raison e'etre (sp) explained, I would also like to announce my public retirement from this forum. I'm sick of Badge and would like to spend more time with my wife to be.

Good luck to you all.

BM

HUP

See ya mate . You know you won't be away for long.

young_lad

If that be the case, then good luck mate. From what you've posted in recent weeks it seems everything's in place for you to have a good life now that you're 'home'.

bondipom

I find using this place to compare UK/OZ to rest of the world quite useful as it means I am less likely to do so with the Aussies I know. Most of it is trivial stuff that we are finding new ways to live with. Some may use it as a method to constantly knock Oz but those posters are transparent and their message is obvious.

The purpose of this forum seems to be different for different people. I see it as a place to discuss living in Australia. If it helps those wanting to move here all the better but I won't post positively for the sake of someone in the UK.

It still does not feel like home but I certainly do not feel like leaving.

NickyC

I find it easy to be positive in a place where the sky is invariably blue, the sun shines and the light is clear and bright.

I don't give a rats that I can only buy 30 varieties of yoghurt instead of 50 and that I have to make my own Yorkshire Puddings - give me a blue sky any day!

Interminable grey, leaden skies are depressing to me and even now whenever I catch a glimpse of a UK winter landscape (on TV or wherever) with bare-leaved trees against a dark sky I actually shudder. Probably a bit extreme, but it really gives me the creeps.

Reckon sunshine and light contribute more to attitudes and health than most people give it credit for, and probably has a lot to do with the Australian positive outlook on life.

Kids in school (well mine were) ARE taught that they are valued and have something to contribute - regardless of their skills - but doesn't that happen everywhere? They're encouraged to pursue whatever they are good at, to recognise that different people have different strengths - and that no-one is 'better' than anyone else. I've not seen any evidence that they're taught to be positive - but most I know seem pretty confident and positive, anyway.

Australians like people who 'have a go' regardless of whether they're successful or not. They don't have time for whingers - so people with a positive outlook, who take some responsibility for themselves and who look for the best in any situation, will fit in far better than those who do not.

Pollyana

Interesting to hear you saying that, Bondi. I know that I and I few others don't think it feels like home yet, but to hear it from someone like yourself who has been here longer makes a change.

I am finding I get horribly large swings - I get really positive, and then someone comes along and ruins it. Like last week, even though it was grey and wet I was feeling really positive - until the idiot boss at work spoilt it by totally rearranging my job - which is something that would have upset me in the UK too. But here it seems bigger, more of a disaster, and harder to cope with. Little things that would go unnoticed in the UK now seem like calamities. I just feel much much more vulnerable.

On the positive side, we met up with some of The Bloke's rellies today, who I've previously only seen at large gatherings. They were really welcoming, just accepted me as one of them, and in spite of there being a big family crisis going on I actually felt relaxed and content for a while - it seems so much depends on whether the Aussies you are with view you as one of them, or as an outsider.

ABC, NINE CENTS per lettuce, farm near Gatton, out Toowoomba way.........its obviously a big talking point out there too, as the sign was as big as the ones saying "Jesus Saves" and "Support your local church" that dot the Queensland countryside!

ABCDiamond

Polly
How many did you buy ?

Pollyana

NONE!!! The Bloke kept driving as I reached out for them desperately, screaming "give me those lettuces!!!!"
Just a shame we didn't have the camera handy to get a pic of the sign. Can give you directions there if you like?!

bondipom

I've never felt truly at home anywhere and due to my upbringing have always had itchy feet. Thats what moving your kids around the world can do. The more true friends rather than aquaintances I makes the more likely I am to be settled. For me to not have itchy feet after 2 years is unusual.
:scared:

wmoore

Sadly this is absolutely true and if you like to keep up with events, you have to realise that simple fact or you will just cut your wrists there and then. The media also stirs up the terrorism angle and gives rise to the kind of rant against Muslims and immigrants seen elsewhere on here lately.
It would be a bit sad if that were the only reason but it is certainly another point to put on the 'reasons for going' pile. Recently there was a survey in one of the papers that said 52% of the UK population want to leave and 20% of those want to be in Oz. Don't believe this as a true stat but it does paint a picture.
I think this doesn't just apply to Oz. If you have a reasonably positive outlook on life, you can fit in anywhere. I hope this is true anyway....
I belive this too. When the sun shines, it does make you that little bit happier and I see this all around too.
This is probably the most effective way to avoid the whinging pom tag. Bite your lip when you get the urge to say 'Well, back in Britain, .......' then come and post it on here. Then stand back as you get flamed for being negative ...

MikeStanton

There seems to be some confusion between "positive and negative" and "modest and arrogant". Generally, I haven't found Aussies more positive than Brits. Aussies tend to be more laid back and more arrogant (note I say arrogant, not self-confident).

Generally, Brits don't like to intrude, make a fuss or blow their own trumpet. Personality attributes that I missed while I was in Oz.