podgypossum

I am afairly new member here. I have trawled through many messages and subjects over the last week or so.

I found it interesting to read all the different opinions about the good and bad side of Aus/ NZ, as opposed to the U.K.

It set my mind thinking. This huge leap we are all making will be successful depending on OUR attitude, not the goods and bads in each place and what we do and don't like.

I feel there are some people here who would not be happy no matter where they lived. It has nothing to do with the country they are in, but more about where their mind is at!!

Lets look at it logically. If you are moving to an entirely different country and way of life, it is YOU that needs to make the changes. It is YOU that needs to adapt and do things differently. If you cant do that, why go??
I have read some very supportive and helpful posts from kind people. I have also read scathing, bitter and resentful ones too.

My husband is in the field of psychiatry and i was packing up a load of his psyccho babble books last night. I cam across the famous one.
"How To Make Friends And Influencce People" (i didnt realise that it REALLY was a book!!!) i flicked through the pages. It is a marvellous book....
Can i suggest some of the unhappy ones in here give it a read. It might be an eye opener!!!

dotty

What do you and hubby the psyco think of people who emigrate unseen to a real live kicking country totally ignoring the fact that like the rest of the western world it has some crappy bits :scared:

Bet somebody could write a book on that and make a few quid


My psyco tip of the day, Have a laugh, never stick your 'ead in the sand, and watch salesmen who are too friendly.

podgypossum

Well...both of us have already done that!!.. When i married him 3yrs ago we decided to come and live in HIS homeland (NZ) I had never been here before.
He has also done it several times himself. He worked in Bermuda for 8yrs without going there prior to taking the job and also came to UK without a previous visit.

Now we are off to Ozzie and neither of us have been there either!!

Its fun and exciting. Of course some things are good and some are bad. But the best piece of advice is to develop an adaptable personailty. Regardless of where you are, your people skills need to be polished up a bit to make headway in your new community.

I have learnt this lesson the hard way!!

tinaj

Podgy Possum.

Exactly right, some people are born whinging and will never be happy anywhere.

If you have a positive attitude that is half of the battle won.

bondipom

I cannot agree with you on this one. Forcing yourself to like something does not work. It will make you bottle everything up and explode when you finally realise your life is crap.

Australia is not for everyone and forcing yourself that all is OK when it is not is not the answer.

A good attitude can help you overcome some of the annoyances of Australia but when a place is fundamentally wrong for you there is not much you can do.

I like living in Oz and I liked living in the UK. Neither countries are perfect and are not for everyone.

sunny_samantha

well all i can say is that my husband and i did that ten years ago...we came to london from scotland because that is where the jobs were for us...employment brought us, NOT the location, therefore for us it was a better way of life. We go to Australia with our eyes open...yes there are good places, yes there are bad places, for us we hope to find the good ones.
Why are some people on this website so bitter? If they haven't found their paradise...well hey maybe it wasn't for them...that doesn't mean it won't be someone elses. Paradise and a happy life are found were YOU make them , noone else can do this for you. Someone can move to anywhere in the world and if they'd lived in the next street and got the next job that they would have applied for they would be happy. Personally i'll take my chances...i've researched as much as i can and i'll continue to research more and , hey, if when i arrive in oz (assuming i get my visa - fingers crossed) i don't like where i am initially, i'll assess why and then i'll move. i don't think you'll find me here breathing negativity onto other peoples dreams...i've got far more important things to do with my life.

MrsDagboy

Bondi, I dont think Podgy said you had to make yourself like something that you dont. I agree with her on the whole, life is what you make of it. If you come to Australia looking for the UK you will be sadly disappointed. Unfortunately thats what some of the people on this forum seem to do. They want to "immigrate to OZ" but they want the same shops & the same brands in the shops, the same range of food, the same atmosphere in the pubs, the same newspapers, the same tv/radio shows, the same nightlife/same entertainment/news, same level of soap powder in their washing machine........ etc. In fact, what they want is the UK, but with nice weather & beaches. Sorry folks, but you aint gonna get it! Australia is a DIFFERENT country! I totally agree that nowhere is perfect, but then I dont think that many people on here looking to come out honestly believe that Australia is utopia. Despite what the knockers continually try to make us believe. I dont mind negative points being made (as long as they are honest & not exaggerated), but it does get a little tiring when some people never have a single good word to say about the place. No one says you have to like it, but if you dont then it hardly means that no-one else will, does it?


As Podgy said, you need to come here being willing to change your ideas & concepts of what is good or bad. Most of the things I see people on here whinging about are the minor things in life, most things are not *good* or *bad*, they are simply different.

Brisgal

I agree with Mrs Dagboy.....no need for negativity....bitterness is something we can all live without..

Like someone says...it it's not your paradise...try to find it elsewhere..don't stew and become twisted and negative and try to bring others down...

As my boyfriend BrisbaneBrummie says "my glass is half full, NOT half empty"!!!!!!!

peace

PeteY

Noone here minds negativity......its only when that negativity is sent hurtling down somones nose at you that people on here get riled.

Life, in my opinion, is what YOU make of it wherever you are.

bondipom

Life is what you make of it but there are things you cannot change that affect people far more than they could expect no matter how good their attitude. I am not on about minor whinges but about family, friends and culture.

Culture is something the immigrant has to adapt to accept. I know poms who have adapted well and those that have not and it was not for a lack of trying.

You can get new friends but true friends are hard to find and you only find them out in times of need.

Family cannot be changed and the distance does affect the relationship especially in times of need. I feel guilty because I cannot go and visit an Uncle who had a heart attack last week.

If the fundamentals are wrong no amount of trying or good attitude will rectify the situation.

I am a relatively positive poster but this country is not for everyone. No matter how hard they try.

podgypossum

I totally agree with you Bondi, that if a place is not for you, you cant make it be. If that happens then its time to move on. All i am trying to say is, theres no point in becoming bitter and resentful and denegrating everything about the place. It is YOU that doesnt suit the place. It doesnt mean you are inadequate or worng, just at it doesnt mean the people who like there are either. Just different!!

My philosophy is, if you hate where you are that much,do as much in your power to change it or leave!!

bondipom

When one is bitter it needs to be expressed.

Some of the best things in life are bitter (beer, dark chocolate, turkish coffee).

bundy

Just to lighten the atmosphere slighty, I trust we have all seen this little piece of philosophy...

BrisbaneBrummie

A friend of mine who has lived in Australia for a few years before returning gave me some advice.......he said when I move there........don't become the stereotypical Pom.......what he was trying to say, was to accept Oz for what it is and to try and engage their culture rather than wishing it was like back home.....

I will try to become part of my community, as I hold a qualified coaching certificate, and look forward to helping the local kids, coaching and maybe running a junior football team (thats soccer to some of you!) .....Embrace Australian ideals whilst retaining the best bits of being a Pom.........

well......thats my plan anyway.......

as long as myself and my girlfriend remain happy, whether thats Oz,UK or timbuktoo..........then thats all that matters.

bundy

True words, BrisbaneBrummie...

I spent a year living in the middle of nowhere in NSW in a small community of 300. I loved it, but only because I got as involved as I could with community life and, by dint of the fact that I was 'attached' to a local, was treated like one too. It made a real difference - my first experience in Oz was as an 18yr old gap-yearer. Spent 7 weeks travelling the country and talked to about 3 real life aussies.

Get out there with an open mind, take opportunities as they arise and respect the fact that you are the outsider whilst trying to avoid making that too obvious...