Amyxxxx

Hi
Just looking for some guidance… my mum is terminally ILL with brain cancer ( was fine when we left home) 5 months ago - had a car crash and found out she’s has weeks to live. We want to fly home for the funeral (I will go on my own if need be) but as we have just used our savings & have a wedding back home next August) we have minimal to spare so were looking for some financial help- no UK charity can help us as it’s not available overseas The flights are between 8.5 - 15 thousand dollars for a return trip which I don’t expect it all to be covered. ( we can’t get a loan due to only being here a few months) emirates don’t have any compassionate fares any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated

christmasoompa

Welcome to BE, really sorry to hear this.

Are you not able to change the flights you've got for the wedding next August to use them now instead? Even if they're not flexible tickets surely the airline would let you do that given the circumstances?

old.sparkles

I would try shopping around for flights first - and then maybe chuck it on the credit card for now.

If funds are that tight, maybe go alone to cut costs.

Can family / friends in UK help?

Pulaski

The curse of the expat is that "going home" for milestone events isn't always possible, and it is only the advent of jet travel around 60 years ago that made short-notice trips "home" even a possibility. And before the invention of telecommunications it was likely that the funeral had already taken place before a letter arrived telling you of the death of a relative.

So, that said, you may need to prioritize what is important to you - grieving with the mourners at the funeral? Celebrating with family and friends at the wedding? Or if funds are tight and your budget uncertain, perhaps neither are truly worth the expensive trip back? ... As you are already considering only one of you returning for the funeral, IMO it isn't a huge leap to sending condolences and flowers/charitable donation and not attending.

It is possible that some family members may hold it against you, that you "didn't make the effort" to attend either occasion, but I suspect that ten years from now it won't make a scrap of difference either way - either they "forgave" you, or as is more often the case when you live thousands of miles from home, your lives will have diverged and you're not really in contact much anyway. Such is the curse of the expat.

NickyC

Not sure where you're getting that $8.5k to $15k figure from - cheapest return flights to the UK travelling next week (on Skyscanner) are around the $2.5k mark.

Jerseygirl

Very sorry to read about your mum. A similar scenario is something most expats have to go through during their life overseas. Both my dad, FIL and MIL passed suddenly while we were living in the US. In my dad’s case we couldn’t leave immediately because my husband was in hospital. It is some thing we have to come to terms with. It is something we did not consider when we decided to make a new life overseas.

Pollyana

Bit surprised at the price - unless thats for a family of course? i don’t think I’ve ever paid more than $2,800 return. definitely do some shopping around. Qantas used to do compassionate fares but I don’t know if this has continued post-covid. Qantas also used to be the best for compassionate faresin that they would do all they could to get you on a flight asap.

Beoz

Sorry to hear. Weeks to live means end of November. A quick check you would be looking at about $3k on your own on a 1 stopper with BA. On your own is acceptable right? Do you have a credit card?

tdrinker

Sorry to hear about your mother's illness. I checked the Qantas website for compassionate fares, these are available for domestic travel and "If you need to travel internationally for compassionate reasons, contact us to discuss your options." It's worth checking the websites of other airlines lest any can offer help.

https://help.qantas.com/support/s/ar...onate-airfares

Unfortunately, a consequence of being an expat is that you aren't there when events happen, and sometimes you can't get there in time or at all. I'm speaking from personal experience and of others I know, and this especially affected people during the recent covid travel restrictions. It hurts. I hope you can find a way of returning, but if not don't beat yourself up.

Pollyana

I did use this service but it was back in 2006. Qantas got me on a flight within 12 hours to the UK, and with a lack of seats returning the routed me through Tokyo with BA and JAL, who upgraded me to Business. However that was a good few years back.

SanDiegogirl

Use the money you would have spent on the wedding for tickets for the funeral....?

quoll

So sorry to hear about your mum. No idea about any help for fares other than that there used to be (and probably still is) an insurance policy you can take out so that you can get a quick flight paid for in the case of life and death emergency. My parents had a policy for them and me for many years. Bit late now though for your mum, I fear, but if you have other family left it might be handy. I am in the camp which would rather go back to see a living person than go back for a funeral. My parents always said "dont come back for a funeral" - I probably would have, of course because I could afford it - but dad died during Covid when I wasnt able to get back for his tiny funeral. I dont think I grieved any the less even though my participation was watching my son do the bulk of the service streamed via FaceTime on my daughter in law's iphone from the middle of a woodland burial field. Dad didn't mind and nobody else held it against me I know. I wont say it is easy, because farewelling a parent is never easy, no matter how old they are, but you can farewell a loved one from the other side of the world - funerals can be streamed (one small thank you to covid) and your being there would not mean as much as spending time with your loved one before they leave you. The tyranny of distance is a bugger and no matter how prepared you are it is never easy at all. Good luck with it all.

Mrs M

Anyone can say anything wether it is true or not is unknown.

Of course if it is true then it is a sad situation to which people will have sympathy but.. Only 1 post and directly asking for money and no small amount either? In this day and age scammers abound and just because it is on an open forum does not mean it is true. There are ways of borrowing money for most people and of course family and friends at home would be the first port of call and definitely it should only be a fare for you! That would not be a huge amount of money to borrow.

I remember a story of a woman who shaved her daughters hair and told everyone her daughter had leukaemia in order to scam people so anything goes in this world it seems. I am not saying your story isn't true but certainly I don't think people will just be sending money as you have requested. Everyone can attack me now but I don't care im tired of scammers and the despicable lengths they will go to in order to extract cash.

Beoz

I was wondering if that was the aim of the 1 post exercise but to be fair, the poster never actually asked for a donation.

Mrs M

I think we read things differently perhaps..... Quote... We have minimal spare so we were looking for financial help. Thats what was said and also said was all avenues were closed so basically though it may not have been a direct ask it was intimating. At least that's my view.

Also where are you Amyxxxx? As I said just this 1 post I think most people would have used the site before especially as the person is already located in Australia. Scam ! Lol!