monkeymark

hi all, good views from everyone but has anyone found it hard being in oz when everyone we love and care about are back there. Please I know thats obvious but read on does anyone feel the same?
We have been here excactly 2 years on the 6th of Dec and i have to say my house is far better than anything Id have in the Uk. My suburb is far better than anything I would have in the UK in fact most of what I have here is far better than I would have in the UK. We have a 6 month old son and his future I hope is far better than anything I could give him in the UK but at what price? If I had enough money then I could find the places in the UK to have the finer things in life the better schools etc but I havent, I do earn a good wage here in Perth W/A Im a plasterer but a large potion of my money goes on my mortgage which is high, far higher than the UK but I have a better house etc. The price I pay for all this is loneliness. It is so hard to meet people if your not into sport and I work alone and dont really do pubs not that theres many of them in the northern suburbs, so I dont get to meet many people and out of the ones I do meet as of yet I have not had that connection with. Im a young 40 year old and my wife 30 and we have been pulling our hair out wondering wether to go back for us or stay for my son so when people say the negative things about coming here I wish Id listened more because this is the hardest thing I have had to do.
Thanks,.

charlie-k

If your'e not into sports or the Pub scene, do you have any hobbies? Music? walking? reading? There may well be some clubs you can join. Do you live near the City? If not, would you consider moving to somewhere a little busier? You could try knocking on your neighbours door and asking to borrow a cup of sugar - lol
Good luck with whatever you choose. Hope it works out for you.

Dorothy

There's a meetup in King's Park next Sunday at 12. See my signature for the link. You, your wife and baby are more than welcome to come along and meet some new people. You may just find some really good friends - or you may think we're all a bunch of losers! Either way, come out for a nice afternoon at the park.
Dorothy

scrappyhappy8

\where in\perth are you we are planning to locate to rockingham about march 08. I am a 40 year old carpentr and my wife will be staying at home. keep trying you don`t want to come back to this shit hole
Paul

crocodileseamus

Hi,

Sorry to hear you are lonely. It must have taken a lot for you even to post the thread.

I think you should definately go to Dorothy's meet up. I know it is excruciatingly hard to attend the first time round (I've never been but can only imagine being amongst strangers!), but you will meet people that at the very least, if you meet in the supermarket can greet you and not be a shop assistant!

Would you not try a night class, ie Chinese cookery, painting, picture framing????

You left a whole 40 years worth of friends and family, so you have to rebuild again. Hopefully things will work out for you.

If things get desperate you could always try swinging, have never been that desperate though!!!!! - joke

Good Luck,



Croc

ASHO

make you right Paul its a carsey here

egghead4

mark, I really feel for you, as this is something that I am also worried about. make sure you try and go to the meet as you have nothing to lose.
it must be hard, but keep at it.
best of luck
bec

RenShen

Hi,

This is something that I sympathise with totally. We have some fantastic friends here in the UK. People that you can be totally relaxed with, take the p**s, moan to about your family etc. I know that we are doing the right thing by moving and it will be great for the kids. Job prospects are better and of course the houses/pools/outdoor life is to die for.

However, it will take years to build the friendships that we have here, if ever. I know this sounds really horrible, but I think it will be harder to leave our friends than our family!

I suppose that in life there is always a balance to be struck and I think that, overall, the plus points outweigh the minus points. Still doesn't make it easy though!

quoll

I am sorry you are finding it hard to find friends here. I once said, in the workplace, that I had no friends here and I stand by what I said. I had work colleagues who thought they were my friends but at the time they were just work colleagues. Now I have retired, some of them have migrated into the friend category but not many.

I think Australia is somewhat insular - I dont see the same sort of relationships that I had at home. I was raised in villages and Australia certainly doesnt have the same village mentality that I grew up with, everyone is too wrapped up in their own little lives doing their own thing. I guess one has more chance of finding friendship amongst people of like mind/interest but I do wonder if friendships are things formed in ones younger years and that as you get older it gets more difficult to find those true friend relationships. When I go home, I get together with friends from Uni and even from school and we natter away as if there had never been 29 years and a world between us.

Glasgowlass

I would advise you to go to the expat meets and give them your best go before you make any other decisions. I have been here for what seems like an eternity and I've done the hobby classes, been to Uni here, worked and still lack any friends.Regardless of what anyone else says or their experiences I have found it extremely hard to turn Australians from acquaintances to friends and believe me I have tried but you can't force people.
I never ever had this problem at home and regret not moving home when I had the chance in the early '90's. I've now got an Aussie husband and Aussie children and effectively stuck here. Houses, cars and whatever else mean nothing if you've got nobody to share it all with.
Go and meet with the expats, they could turn it around for you. Best wishes to you and your family.

nugget

Hey MM' This is the first time iv'e been on this forum. I was was browsing and came across your post -it's the first one iv'e opened.

I was born in Gateshead but have lived in Oz since i was 7 (35yrs) so I'm pretty much an Aussie. Strangely enough, although i have an older brother and sister (who were born here (on my parents first attempt to immigrate))- I still feel like I'm a brit, even with almost no memories from there!

Mate- I have to say, your post brought a tear to my eye. Weve just burried my dad. From mining in WA to farming in TAS to 10yrs as a copper in Sydney- I don't think he ever really 'fit in'. He didn't drink and wasn't on overly outgoing person. He always wanted to 'go back' but I think that once his family had settled (especially once we were old enough to make our own decisions) he didn't feel he could. When they did go back to visit relatives, they would always be happy to get back here- home.

Dad never really had many close friends. I think he found it so difficult in the early years that he just gave up trying.

In contrast, mum is friendly and outgoing- and never gave up trying. She ignored all the negatives and just concerntrated on enjoying each day regardless. At 70 she still runs her own business and has many friends.

It must be hard for all of you. The point is, that it would be the same wherever you go- it is still your own situation! Keep trying, there have been some good suggestions above. Volunteering for stuff (ie community org's) is also a good one. As far as work goes- if lifestyle was the reason for the move, perhaps consider work that gives closer contact with others.

Hang in there- it really is what you make. Keep the flexibility to return home as much as possible (it's only a day away), and keep an open mind and you'll be ok. In my experience- If things aren't working by the time kids are 12/13, that's the time to settle- be it here or (your other) home.

Anyhow- for my part- I welcome you all to MY country

nightnurse2

You've been given some good advice. It must be hard for you if you're working on your own.
Try and come to the expats meet, you may meet a few people that you really get on with - you could invite them to a BBQ, they'll invite you back and you'll get to meet other people too. It could turn out that you don't 'click' with anyone at the meet, but don't give up.
As some have suggested, try a short course doing something that interests you - you are bound to meet other like minded people then.
Best of luck and hope to catch up with you at the meet

Tracey