ROFLAMO!!!!

One very small thing to keep in mind (pun intended) when you comment about spiders being over an inch & a half diametre & wanting to kill them, it might be a good thing for you to know that most redbacks are usually no bigger than the size of a ladies little fingernail. The only good thing is that you will get a bit more dancing practice in if you now feel the need to kill anything over the size of a pea. ;)

hmmmm, interesting point mrs D.

now the bottle has been drunk by the wine fairies ( you know the one's, one minute you have a full glass, the next it's empty and you're demanding the culprit comes clean ) i have a slightly braver outlook.

if they stay away from me ( couple of hundred yards lol ) then i will do my utmost not to kill them.

Let's be honest here, i'm bad enough when it comes to harmless spiders, if i had to face a dangerous one i'd just collapse on the spot.

I thought of watching one of those wildlife programs on sky but then thought, when was the last time you heard the narrator saying " lovely little fellow here, no harm at all " ?
No, all they say is " ooooooooh you don't want to get too close to this one " or " this little rascal has enough poison in one bite to fell a heard of buffalo's " lol

First priority upon arrival, start a petition.
Second ( if the first fails ) attend a spider awareness course.
Knowing my luck ( if i was in a marching band i would get the grand piano ) i would find myself cured of this rather sad and pathetic phobia and then get hit by that bloody bus everyone keeps mentioning. :D

Paul.
Doomed.

Sorry if i'm harping on, it's been a really bad week or two and tonight was good to get drunk and have some fun.

i've just noticed, even daffy looks pissed :D

goodnight everyone, i must now go to bed and nurture a hangover for tomorrow.

Paul

lol
:D :D That is so how I feel!! My other worry is that the hunstman spider is so BBBIIIIIGGGGG it will bung the hose up on the vacuum!

To all of you lot who don't have fear of the little critters.....why not?!!!
Only joking....I'm going to get in touch with our local zoo at Dudley and see if they do a 'Get Rid Of Your 'Totally Irrational and Equally Bloody Stupid' Spider Phobia' course before we go.
Or does anyone know of anywhere else in the midlands that does a phobia curing course?
Yes I am serious!!!:scared: I think.

feeling a little tender this morning, so no shouting please........

Tracey, let me know how you get on. I spent ages last night reading up on 'em and there was very little about the treatment compared to what the venom actually does to you.

Then, when i thought it couldn't get much worse i saw...........
( it was a FAQ site lol )

Are there any scorpions in australia ?

followed by........

Yes, there are scorpions in australia.

So, in conclusion, we are leaving the squirrels,moles,hedgehogs etc for crocs,spiders,snakes and now scorpions................
Oh the joy lol

Going now, keyboard is waaaaaaaay too noisy.

Paul

Also tracey, i read about the huntsman, it cannot jump........if it gets mad ( lol ) it rears up on its rear and then charges towards you ( after reading that i really can't explain the images that flooded my dizzy head lol )

Not trying to be all " anti-spiders " here, i know they are important to nature and not ALL are nasty, in fact, very few are actually nasty and there have been no deaths reported from red back or funnelwebs since 81 ( i think ) due to anti-venom being readily available.
Just portraying my own fears and feelings.

Dont know of any courses but any psychologist/psychotherapist would undertake a desensitisation programme. Best done individually which may be why they dont do courses.
Good luck

Paul

I dunno if this is going to help or not, but let's have a go...

I had an encounter with a spider when I was 11 - we were visiting relatives in South Australia, and during the night I woke up with a feeling of a weight on my chest. I reached out my arm, switched on the bedside light, and looked down, to find a fruit spider on my chest, looking at me with about 200 of its eyes.... Okay, so about 8 eyes... The reason I felt this weight is that the spider was about the size of your standard dinner plate.

Needless to say, I screamed, the bedclothes and spider went one way, I went the other, woke the whole bloody household, my uncle came running in with a polo mallet in hand (don't ask...) saw the spider crawling up the wall, and took a swing. I swear to this day that the polo mallet bounced off this critter!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we had to wait until the spider crawled onto the window blind, which was one of those rollup types. Once it did that, someone else (not me!) flicked the blind, which rolled up with the spider inside. Grasping both ends firmly, the whole kit and caboodle was taken outside, and rather rapidly dumped.

Needless to say, this left me with a slight arachnaphobia problem...:D

Anyway, this phobia lasted for many years, until I found that my wife likes spiders, and insists on taking them outside and letting them go. So, I had to take my irrational fear of these tiny little creatures, who eat flies which I hate with a passion, and tell myself that they're really my friends. I'm now at the stage where I can look at a spider quite dispassionately, and decide whether or not it needs to be destroyed. (If we decide it's to go out, Mrs DUP does the honours!!)

The only spider we haven't been able to let go since we've been here was a mouse spider, about 4" across (100mm) which came inside during a downpour, to shelter from the rain. As they're on the 'do not touch' list, it had to go. Mrs DUP, to her credit, was prepared to catch it with a box, and take it outside, but at the time she was just out of the shower, and I refused to let her give the neighbours such a treat!!:D

Anyway, believe it or not, familiarity breeds contempt, and you will get used to having them around, even if it presently feels that you'd run a mile if you spotted one. Next time you see one,just try watching it, without doing anything. They're really quite interesting, are FAR more frightened of us than we are of them, and do a sterling job of keeping the bugs at bay.

Like most of my questions, this is probably really stupid....but the Bloke is asleep and I know what response I'd get if I woke him up to ask him!
I read somewhere on here that spiders eat cockroaches? Is that true? I mean, they are hideous litte gits with tough bodies, so i can't see how spiders could eat them, but if they do then I shall take back everything nasty I've ever said about spiders :rolleyes:

Paul, don't fret mate, have another vat of wine, and remember that spiders are lovely creatures, its the b****y cockies you need to look out for.

First I must just point out that there are scorpions in England (little ones - about 3 mm long I think).

Second - whilst I do not really dislike spiders I can understand your fear - I cannot stand ants - they make the hairs on my neck stand up - ever since I saw "Them". As for the spiders - come round and see us when you get here and you can see our back verandah spider that keeps the mossies and flies at bay - lovely little fellow - about 2" across with yellow legs.
Cheers,

:beer:
DagBoy

DUP, thank you for that...................NIGHTMARE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

I agree that it is something i will have to deal with ( ideally without the help of wooden / electrical help ) and thank you for your comments and offers.They are very much appreciated and all are read and taken on-board for future experiences.

One things for sure, i'm either going to adapt to my new found friends ( eight legged freaks ) or i shall be heard screaming from many a mile away whilst receiving therapy.

These anti-venoms, do you have to go out to get them ( ie: doctor's ) or can you keep a supply in the fridge ?

Thanks again,

Paul

Hi Paul

Are you qualified to inject yourself, and do you know which of the hundreds of anti-venoms to use for each of the various snakes and spiders bites which you MIGHT get - provided you managed to miss that hurtling bus??!

I'd leave it to the pros, mate, that is IF you ever manage to get yourself bitten. How many bites were there last year, out of 20 million people? Work out your percentage of chance of being one of the lucky winners! Many more people (a couple of orders of magnitude) win the lottery each year.

I'd be more worried about being hit by 'blue ice' from a pasing plane!

Polly - yes, spiders DO eat cockies, bless their little cotton socks. As to how, haven't you ever eaten a crusty pie? (I bet you can now never eat another crusty pie in your life!!):D

(Mrs DUP says that my sense of humour is totally warped!!):D

hmmm,
that's a very interesting point mr DUP.

I'm sure that if i'd taken a moment or two to think, then i may have deduced that one myself :o

but again, i only have bad luck, if it wasn't for that i'd have none at all. If i fell into a barrel full of nipples i'd come out sucking my bloody thumb lol.

Paul

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Paul&Ann-Marie



Also tracey, i read about the huntsman, it cannot jump........if it gets mad ( lol ) it rears up on its rear and then charges towards you ( after reading that i really can't explain the images that flooded my dizzy head lol )

Oh God... I can so imaging that one...:scared: especially after the amount of vodka I've had tonight!!!!
Oh dear...spellimng is reaally bad..bast go to bed and sleep.!!! I know I am gonna regret this in the morning!!!!:D :D It's all soooo much fun at the time !!

Excellent, thanks DUP, I'm off to find a very large friendly Huntsman that I can introduce to the next nasty little varmint that finds its way in here! Having always been told tht cockroaches were virtually indestructable, I'm very impressed! LOL at the crusty pie analogy!

We have some very good spiders here that I let be because they have cockies in their webs.