Mrs Lonely
 

Hi my name is Louise Brown.
I live in the S.E suburbs of Melbourne with my husband Marc and our 2 kids, Ryan 5 and Jayme 2, we have been in Australia for almost 8 years and i have found it difficult to make friends, well i did make a few Australian friends but they have been two faced and hurt me.
I would love to meet new people as i am lonely and keep pestering my hubby to move back to the UK, i know i would be crazy to take my kids away from here as they are both Australian and my husband is from the South of England and I'm from the North so that is an argument we would have.
I'm only contemplating the move to be with my friends again and if i made friends out here and had some sort of social life instead of hanging out with my parents it would make me happier and less likely to move back.
HELP! :(

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

sorry you have been hurt and are lonely.

It sounds a bit of a cliche but have you joined new groups to change your social circle?

Have you told them that they have upset you? Sometimes it can be cultural differences and they may not realise they have offended you. Obviously not wanting to pry, do you think it is worth reconciling?

ljj

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

wow this post disturbs me.......don't carry on like this.....either meet people and get a social life or go home....life is to short to live it like this....good luck to you

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

Louise this is a very sad post :(
My friend in brisbane is in a similar situation.
If you really want to go home as you feel your life would be better you have to consider it seriously - you cannot hang out with little people and parents for the rest of your life because being here is best for your partner/children . Friends are one of the most important (if not the most important) thing in your life.
Its very difficult to make friends once you are past the age of 12. People suspect you have another motive. Also whilst yes you can join different activities etc you aren't necessarily going to make good friends. I have found out here in Oz I have now got lots of people to go out on the razz with and some of them are good fun etc but they aren't proper friends unfortunately but its a start. What the previous poster said about culture differences is also very true. I find australians very confrontational and I couldn't grasp that when I first got here. However I'm sure you'd know if it was just a misunderstanding. How about other mums at school etc? Failing that find somebody you like the look of in the street and force yourself on them! Surely they organise Melbourne meet ups on here. If so make sure you go - or organise one. Best of luck and if I move to Melbourne I'll look you up!

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

I have tried making friends but the ones i did make moved Interstate or back to the UK, my husband is refusing to move as he came out here for a better life and the weather as he is a carpenter/bricklayer so he needs the better weather, he would think about me going back on my own but that defeats the purpose as i would miss him and so would the kids, and i would end up coming back to Australia in a worse state. I am only 27, he is 33 and he has a social life, he plays Soccer on a Monday night and goes to the pub on a friday so he doesn't get what i am going through, he isn't a good listener and i have noone to talk to or confide in and it is driving me up the wall.

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

wel all the lonely people can come around my house and we can all have a topless pool party,ill put on free sizzles and beers

no strings attached, one man 2 women is the rule.

any takers
:p

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

how about going along to the expats meet planned to be in Mornington on 12th Nov - Click http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329492 for details

Lots of new arrivals who are all looking to make friends as well, and your 8 years of oz experience will be very helpful to lots of people.

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

Hi Louise

It can be very hurtful when people turn out to be shallow but this demonstrates they were never really friends in the first place, so move on. It hurts to do this but that's life. And besides, it takes a few goes before you gain the friends you really want to keep:)

As for meeting new friends. Have you thought about joining a playgroup and asking some mums round for a coffee...or all of you find a nice friendly cafe where you can take the kids?...or even go on a picnic? What about you and your husband joining a local child friendly social club of some sorts? They sometimes organise camping weekends or trips away and they are usually social affairs. The other way is to arrange something on here, which you have done;)

Remember, it usually takes a while to meet genuine and sincere friends, it doesn't usually happen overnight and the "two faced" ones are usually the ones vying for top dog position rather than as equals...so no great loss after all;)

Good luck, keep trying, there are some lovely people out there....they've just got to find you:)


When a character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends - Chinese Proverb

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

I'm going to do that, i've told my hubby about it and he will come, my confidence and self esteem is at a all time low so it will be hard

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

"he would think about me going back on my own but that defeats the purpose as i would miss him and so would the kids"


those are your words so am I right in saying that he says ....."you and the kids can leave but I am staying here"

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

Oh Louise...I'm sure something will go right for you soon:o

Good luck girl:)

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

No he loves he kids to pieces but he is adamant that he won't move and i use the if you love me speech and then he uses it so we get nowhere, just me upset and winging to my mum

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

are you joking mums clubs and playgorunds clubs, they are hangouts for the depresses clickity click mums moaning about illnessess and medicine.

Get out with your own age, and mindsets,

get the laughing tackle going and a good release from the kids and eveyday minor stresses.

few cold ones, mutual banter and away you go, playgroups and mummys meetings only breed citching and nosey parkers.

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

I agree

Re: Mrs Lonely
 

Yep you're probably right however got any suggestions? I'm sure hanging round the bookies on a saturday afternoon won't attract the right crowd either. You do need people you're own age you can go out on the pop with but you have to meet them somewhere first which is the tricky bit. What about working in a bar one night a week or something? That would be a laugh and you'd meet loads of people.