Monday afternoon funny
Apr 18th 2005, 1:22 pm
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,360
Monday afternoon funny
Be very proud to be British Because:
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
8 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.
And finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
RULE BRITANNIA!!
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
8 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.
And finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
RULE BRITANNIA!!
Apr 18th 2005, 2:09 pm
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Redland Bay
Posts: 2,493
Re: Monday afternoon funny
A nation of idiots........ Apart from the few clever ones who are moving to oz 
Apr 18th 2005, 2:25 pm
#3
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,360
Re: Monday afternoon funny
Originally Posted by hilary6
A nation of idiots........ Apart from the few clever ones who are moving to oz
Apr 18th 2005, 6:59 pm
#4
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,337
Re: Monday afternoon funny
Bridiej me thinks you have a wee bit to much time on your hands, good post though, tickled my funny bone
Apr 18th 2005, 7:24 pm
#5
Born to be wild....
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Northants to Brisbane.
Posts: 5,450
Re: Monday afternoon funny
Originally Posted by Perthforme
Bridiej me thinks you have a wee bit to much time on your hands, good post though, tickled my funny bone
Strange that i could relate to nearly all those things...
