kerryandgordon

Hi everyone, Hope you are all feeling better than i am, we have got here and love it, been here for nearly 5 months. But we have hit loads of stumbling blocks. My partner is always getting screwed over at wor0k. We are constantly at each others throats. We have a 2 year old daughter so we cant do anything other than work and go out at the weekends. We have made a few friends but its just the two of them so we can never do anything with them. Obv we dont regret coming here but nobody seems to be in our position. I dont drive so I cant go anywhere and my partner well he is always at work. I feel like i wish I was back in the UK. Its getting to the point where we argue so much because we are soooo bored. I would just love one night where I could spend it with my partner watching the sunset on surfers paradise or somehting romantic. Anyway rant over made me feel little bit better. Hope we start to get along soon or my bags will be packed and ill be off.

Wendy

It's tough isn't it. Where abouts are you? Maybe you could see if there's a meet up near you, or if not get one organised. It's a great way to meet people and they are all in the same boat as you, so know what you are going though. You might even find someone who could babysit for you, give you a few hours to yourself.

Also, I recommend learning to drive - it's not as hard as it seems and it gives you something to aim for plus some independence too. I'm learning just now and it's fabulous.

Vim Fuego

I inherited my (Australian) OHs social circle so we don't have the same issues BUT my wife did (understandably) go a bit crazy until she managed to hook-up with a Mothers Group through the local paper. They are a good bunch and there is a regular weekly meet-up as well as other social events.

Maybe there is something similar in your area? It will be difficult to maintain contact with 'the outside world' if you don't drive though, especially if your location is a bit isolated and insular (as ours is, we don't have many friends 'locally').

We have a 2 year old too (my wife works part-time) so I can relate to the bickering that can result from boredom and work hassles.

Maybe a weekend away is in order to recharge the batteries if you can afford the time and cash? There are kid-friendly places out there if you cannot arrange a baby sitter. Our last visit was to Sea World and that was great for everyone during a time of work/life stress.

I don't want to presume but maybe your husband is feeling the same way too ... if he's a crap a communicator as I am then you probably don't know the half of it

Good luck,
Matt

(edit) Oh yeh, and it's nice to pretend to be a tourist for a bit ... sounds stupid but sometimes it works!

kerryandgordon

To be honest yeh i think he is the feeling the same and he doesnt communicate with me lol. He is very active person, he loves riding bikes rock climbing u name it hes done it.

kerryandgordon

We are in Spingfield Lakes, near Brisbane, do you know of any groups nearby.

The Woodcutter

The angst that you you feel - is it because you are in Australia? If you had to relocate in the UK because of jobs would you be experiencing the same thing?

You say that you love it in Australia - I thus get the impression that what you are feeling in terms of being low might also have occured in the UK. We have 3 kids. 9 year old daughter and 5 year old twin boys. My wife works as a nurse (doing crazy shifts) and I also work. Juggling family life and work can be a nightmare.

I agree with the earlier post. Learn to drive and network. Things do not happen overnight, but with a positive attitude (I know that's hard at the moment) things will get better. There can be a lot of support from people on these forums.

I know it's a bit of a cliche - but if you set yourself little projects to do - in other words keep yourself busy then this might help.

Hang on in there. Things will get better. Especially if you want them too!! And remind yourselves why you came to Oz in the first place.

Nu-Shooz

Hi Kerry,
Whereabouts in OZ are you?

Oh sorry, just seen Surfers Paradise!!!

Vim Fuego

I'm not familiar with the area (we are down near Beaudesert), I know there are people that post here that live there though (the names escape me).

I'm sure if you put the word out in the 'Meet Ups' forum or 'The Barbie' then there will be people there that you could hook-up with. Sometimes it only takes one chance meeting and before you know it the boredom will be gone.

<stating the bleeding obvious>It's never good to have too much time on your hands and dwell on negative thoughts ... believe me, I have been there and it's a vicious circle. There are other people out there in the same situation, it's just a case of finding them

kerryandgordon

not actually in surfers paradise bout half an hour away, closer to Brisbane

Wendy

I think that maybe this is one of the problems a lot of people face. You spend a year or two stressing about getting here, you're busy with visa applications, planning etc, then when you do get here you run round like an idiot sorting stuff out and when you've done that it's like 'what now?'

It can be a bit of a let down as real life kicks in and you're back to the mundane stuff you did before you started all this. The key is to keep setting yourself goals to chase, make your dream happen the way you wanted it way back when you started the process.

kerryandgordon

yeh i agree with that, constantly rushing around being busy, and now its like what do we do. Work work and thats it. I have my learners licence transferred so I am wanting to leearn. I ride my daughter to daycare everyday on a bike lol and its uphill. Its killing me. . I just cant find the yellow L badges anywhere grrrrrrrrrrr

Vim Fuego

Agree with all that, life has to kick in at some point and if you take away your old support network then it can be very hard even if you have contacts here.

I joined a cricket team and that has kept me sane through the inevitable new marriage/fatherhood turbulance ... I can recommend joining a team sports club to anyone arriving. Doesn't matter which sport or how good you are.

kerryandgordon

thats another thing, Gordon Loves cricket (he played in England in Premiership). But we cant even find a decent one where we are. He has been to one in Redbank But thats rubbish

Wendy

Bunnings, Big W, K Mart, Target or some supermarkets to name a few

I'd scare off the rest of the team I'm doing a homestudy course - keeps me busy plus helps me get a job (when I can be arsed looking for one )

kerryandgordon

l i find jobs too easy, im lucky like that. I kind of just walked into the one im in now