T&P

Moving over to NSW in October.

Have hubbies family over there and know one or two people in the locality but not very well - my concern is about meeting new people and making friends.

My current circle of friends in UK largely consists of people I have met in different life stages ie: secondary school/university/work etc.

I have to admit my main concern is being lonely. I have a wonderful husband and family but....................I need my own friends.

I am interested in how those already in Australia have fared on this front. Have you made many good friends. If so how did you meet?

I will be working part time from home so won't meet people through work unless I get another part time job locally which is definately something I may think about.

I am planning on taking some courses out there and perhaps they will offer an opportunity to meet people.

We will also hopefully start a family in a year or two and am hoping that this is a life change that will introduce me to more people.

Interested to hear others experiences.

T x

Vegemite Kids

Hi there,

we've been in Perth nearly 3 months now and made quite a few friends. Mainly through our neighbours (we are lucky and have really great neighbours) but also recently met a few folk folk from on here that could become good friends hopefully. Havent started working yet (to busy enjoying being a Lady of Leisure ) but hopefully will also meet some potential friends then also.

Cos I have been in so many countries (14 in the last 24 years) I know how difficult it is to make good friends in the short term (takes years to build a proper friendship) but so far I have to say its been a lot easier than many other countries. The fact that OZ is english speaking helps - nothing worse than trying to make new friends when you dont speak the lingo

podgypossum

Make no mistake...getting a new network of friends is hard work, especially if you dont have kids to get involved with school/social events where you meet new people. But here in Adelaide we have set up our website and many of us have really made the effort to help and support eahc other, and i think this is the key. I spent 2 very lonely years in NZ and swore i would not let this happen here.

We have been talking abouthtis subject on our forum recently, and come to the conclusion that the problems many face is the fact that they have lived most of their lives in a "comfort zone" of friends and family built up siince chilhood which can make you very lazy or ill equipped in searching out and making new friends. We tend to fill our lives with people who are form the same socio economic group or have just "been around" for years. One of the good things about doind a big move like tis is it forces you to broaden your horizons and re assess the kind of people you want in your life.
A couple of us have been very pleasnatly surprised that we have made friends with people we would never have thought we had anything in common with, and its been a real eye opener.

My advice for those still to come or are finding it difficult...maybe you need to re assess your criteria for friends and friendship or social activities and soread hte net a bit wider...might not work for everyone but it has worked for me and many others i have spoken to.

Another thing too...if you are prepared to put yourself out for other people and give before receiving, then friends tend to build up without you realising it.

T&P

Thankyou both for your experience/advice.

I fall under the category of someone who has been living in the comfort zone of having friends that I have had for years.

I have missed lots of opportunities to form new friendships in UK due mainly to lack of confidence really. I really regret that.

I know that moving to a new country won't change me and make me super confident but I have promised myself that if any opportunities arise to meet new people I will grab them. I owe this to myself.

Any others out there with experiences to share?

T x

Siren & Brian

Well said podgy!!

I myself have made a variety of friends that I suppose I never would have thought possible "back home".

Kids do help... a lot of the people I have met are Mum's of my kids friends. Add to that neighbors and of course expats (I have been very lucky to meet some GREAT women from the forum, inclucing Mairi Maggy and Jopaulss. I'm looking forward to meeting more at the expat meet next weekend.

Nothing opens more avenues of conversation then having something in common and nothing KEEPS those conversations going like differences.

Maybe try some group sport... tennis, aerobics, yoga, whatever intrests you. Or classes of some kind. Volunteer work will benefit the community and your social life!
There are so many ways to meet people.. you just need to put yourself out there.

Siren

podgypossum

There is also a very sad and sinister side to not putting yourself out there ...you can end up not WANTING to meet people and it becomes a vicious circle.... i would advise that even if you are feeling really down and not "up for it" in accepting social invites or starting new ventures to make friends, you really need to force yourself...i am not niave enough to think that everyone you meet you will like, but i do feel new people should be given more of a chance in your life...afterall..if we are feeling insecure and not very confident ourselves,then it stands to reason that many others will be the same...

what area of Aus are you going to T&P? I am sure there must be others feeling just like you are. Maybe you can get yourself some new mates before you even get there!!

T&P

We are off to Lithgow in the Blue Mountains NSW. About 2hr drive from Sydney.

I guess the nearest place that others will be going is Sydney.

T x

Britishaussie

I can understand your concerns too. My parents went over to Australia in search of new opportunities, nearly 40 years ago. In that time they had me and my sister and brother, but my mother was so lonely, after 4 years she wanted to go back home, and more or less dragged my somewhat reluctant dad back, with three young children in tow. She warned me recently that the worst thing for me if I go to live there will be the loneliness, but I am of a different opinion. She had no transport, they lived in Whyalla ('nuff said) and my dad worked long hours but he was happy to stay. Her argument was that he could make friends at work while she was stuck at home and would have gone mad had it not been for her neighbour (who she is still in touch with).

However, a few years ago my husband got a job in Belgium and we moved out there for a time. I didn't work and was in danger of suffering the same thing - but my husband made some good friends at work - all Dutch speaking so to begin with it was a bit difficult till we learned to speak the lingo, though they all spoke good English - and I made friends with a lady a few doors down who was Danish and married to a Belgian. We had quite an active social life and regularly met up with our friends, went out, entertained etc, so it just proves you can do it if you make the effort. We had no children at the time so I didn't get to meet other mums but it wasn't an issue at the time, though it will be now we have a son. We are still in touch with our Belgian friends and regularly see them, which is great because we see them more than we see some of our own friends here in the UK. It's definitely right about the comfort zone thing - I'm just glad we did it because it widened our interests and circle of friends and we know that when we get to Australia we will probably be all right - we have friends there but they're nowhere near where we're planning to live so we'll have to make new ones. If you go in with the right attitude from the beginning you will probably not be so lonely - Podgypossum, you are right - if you don't make the effort to begin with it gets more and more difficult. T - try and get out of the house to work if you can, being stuck at home in an unfamiliar place can exacerbate the situation. Where are you going to?

Britishaussie

LITHGOW??? Brilliant! What are you going to do there? We're more than likely going to the Blue Mountains too (once we get the visa sorted) and looked at Katoomba, Blackheath, Wentworth Falls etc. We thought Lithgow might be a bit far out but the house prices are cheaper. Please post your thoughts on this (in another thread if you like or send me a PM) - I've not seen anybody else in the forum show an interest in that area (mind you, not been a member for long) - they all seem to want to go to Perth or Brisbane where the sun is. We're not beach people at all. Anyway, when/if we get there, we could maybe meet up!

T&P

Hi Britishaussie

I can't believe it - someone else may be moving to the Blue Mountains!!!!

Hurrahhhhhhhhhhh

I have pm'd you!

T x

Britishaussie

I thought I was the only one! Been reluctant to mention it in case I was shouted down - not in a nasty way, I hasten to add - it's just that everyone else seems to want to go to the "popular" areas, not one person so far apart from you has even mentioned the Blue Mountains! Will read your PM ...

podgypossum

Ahhhhhhhhhh....i feel all warm inside ...a new friendship blossoms...

why isnt there any soppy stupid love and hearts smilies on here.... ?

(hmmmm..dont answer that)

maggy

Do what we did

new to perth and put a post on this site inviting new folks over for coffee.

So far have made good friends with Mairi, jopaulss, and siren we all meet up at each others houses for coffee and a good blether.

Would not have met them had it not been for this site.

Its a great way to meet people as we are all in the same situation so we have things in common to talk about.

Iv been here 6 weeks and have been so used to my support network with friends back in Scotland.

We were very close and I was worried about building new relationships.

we all have to start somewhere, get yourself out there and introduce yourself to people.

I now class my new friends as mates and we have a great time chilling together and having a bloody good laugh.

All the best

dont worry

Mags

xx

Wol

Do you know much about Lithgow?

T&P

I have spent a total of 7 weeks there.

My husband is from LIthgow.

Why do you ask?

T