Marital stress - need advice/support people!!
Nov 26th 2003, 4:11 am
#61
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: London, UK
Posts: 36
Originally posted by Elaine M
Argonaut,
I've been following your thread with interest as I'm also an accountant, in the public sector though (CIPFA accountant working in central govt).
It's never occurred to me that I won't get a job in Adelaide when I get there next year, but I'm aware I may need to do a couple of exams and convert my qualification to the Australian Institute if I want to get into the traditional roles such as taxation.
You should have no problem when you have tax experience; even if you have to do the exams it should be a doddle for you as you're used to reading/assimilating/applying the rules. They may be different rules but the principle is the same.
I'm also older than you by 6 years or so, a single parent and heading for a smaller city which is known for having fewer job opportunities.
You can guess what's coming next: Go for it - as others have said, you can always come back.
Personally, although I'm 100% committed to staying in Aus, I'm planning to ask permission to take extended unpaid leave from my job here just in case eveything goes pear-shaped or my family circumstances change.
I hope things work out for you, however you decide.
Good luck,
Elaine
Argonaut,
I've been following your thread with interest as I'm also an accountant, in the public sector though (CIPFA accountant working in central govt).
It's never occurred to me that I won't get a job in Adelaide when I get there next year, but I'm aware I may need to do a couple of exams and convert my qualification to the Australian Institute if I want to get into the traditional roles such as taxation.
You should have no problem when you have tax experience; even if you have to do the exams it should be a doddle for you as you're used to reading/assimilating/applying the rules. They may be different rules but the principle is the same.
I'm also older than you by 6 years or so, a single parent and heading for a smaller city which is known for having fewer job opportunities.
You can guess what's coming next: Go for it - as others have said, you can always come back.
Personally, although I'm 100% committed to staying in Aus, I'm planning to ask permission to take extended unpaid leave from my job here just in case eveything goes pear-shaped or my family circumstances change.
I hope things work out for you, however you decide.
Good luck,
Elaine
Just wish Oz wasn't SO DAMN FAR AWAY from the rest of the world! Oh, well - there's always 'National Geographic' channel on Sky!
Nov 26th 2003, 9:14 am
#62
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hey Argonaut
You sound a little like me. I'm only 28 but I've already started to buy into the whole UK ethos of "must have mortgage", "must start pension", "must get married", "must work like a b*st*rd 'cos someone younger will come out of uni and take my job"!!!! And I'm only 28 for christs sake.
Hmmmm, just read that again - I'm not that bad but it's the way things are going.
I've just posted to this forum (see the thread entitled introduction) and you are basically suffering from nerves. How do i know this - because I am too!!!!!
I made my 'introduction' post at about 6:00pm uk time and I was all gung-ho, I'm moving to Oz.
It's now 9:00pm and I'm crapping myself trying to think of anything I can to talk me out of it. And that is the main problem - I'm thinking too much about it. I met a guy the other day who had moved from Oz to the UK. He advised me that the way he dealt with it was to not think about it too much. Maybe that's easier said than done but it is helping me (a little!).
The other thing I've been thinking about (and I know this is a little morbid) is of people who haven't got my opportunties. By that I mean people I have known who have, for one reason or another, passed away. They ranged in age from 20 to 34. I think about the fact that you can plan for old age all you like but there is nothing written in stone that says you are going to get there. And if you move to Oz it doesn't have to be forever - Qantas flights go both ways!!
It sometimes amazes me how some people live. The people that don't know where they'll be in 6 months time and just go with the flow. I meet a lot of those types of people and I truly admire them. They're able to achieve their dreams and live for the moment.
And if you are still unconvinced then can I suggest you listen to a song by The Coral entitled Bill McCai. Might not be the best idea to base a life changing decision on a song but it could give you an idea of how you will feel if you don't grab every opportunity that comes your way.
One other thing - where and when did you do your parachute jump. I'm in the UK - got about 550 jumps under my belt so far. One of the criteria for choosing a place to live in Oz is that it has to be near a DropZone
You sound a little like me. I'm only 28 but I've already started to buy into the whole UK ethos of "must have mortgage", "must start pension", "must get married", "must work like a b*st*rd 'cos someone younger will come out of uni and take my job"!!!! And I'm only 28 for christs sake.
Hmmmm, just read that again - I'm not that bad but it's the way things are going.
I've just posted to this forum (see the thread entitled introduction) and you are basically suffering from nerves. How do i know this - because I am too!!!!!
I made my 'introduction' post at about 6:00pm uk time and I was all gung-ho, I'm moving to Oz.
It's now 9:00pm and I'm crapping myself trying to think of anything I can to talk me out of it. And that is the main problem - I'm thinking too much about it. I met a guy the other day who had moved from Oz to the UK. He advised me that the way he dealt with it was to not think about it too much. Maybe that's easier said than done but it is helping me (a little!).
The other thing I've been thinking about (and I know this is a little morbid) is of people who haven't got my opportunties. By that I mean people I have known who have, for one reason or another, passed away. They ranged in age from 20 to 34. I think about the fact that you can plan for old age all you like but there is nothing written in stone that says you are going to get there. And if you move to Oz it doesn't have to be forever - Qantas flights go both ways!!
It sometimes amazes me how some people live. The people that don't know where they'll be in 6 months time and just go with the flow. I meet a lot of those types of people and I truly admire them. They're able to achieve their dreams and live for the moment.
And if you are still unconvinced then can I suggest you listen to a song by The Coral entitled Bill McCai. Might not be the best idea to base a life changing decision on a song but it could give you an idea of how you will feel if you don't grab every opportunity that comes your way.
One other thing - where and when did you do your parachute jump. I'm in the UK - got about 550 jumps under my belt so far. One of the criteria for choosing a place to live in Oz is that it has to be near a DropZone
Nov 26th 2003, 9:27 am
#63
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: London, UK
Posts: 36
Originally posted by Spectre
Hey Argonaut
You sound a little like me. I'm only 28 but I've already started to buy into the whole UK ethos of "must have mortgage", "must start pension", "must get married", "must work like a b*st*rd 'cos someone younger will come out of uni and take my job"!!!! And I'm only 28 for christs sake.
Hmmmm, just read that again - I'm not that bad but it's the way things are going.
I've just posted to this forum (see the thread entitled introduction) and you are basically suffering from nerves. How do i know this - because I am too!!!!!
I made my 'introduction' post at about 6:00pm uk time and I was all gung-ho, I'm moving to Oz.
It's now 9:00pm and I'm crapping myself trying to think of anything I can to talk me out of it. And that is the main problem - I'm thinking too much about it. I met a guy the other day who had moved from Oz to the UK. He advised me that the way he dealt with it was to not think about it too much. Maybe that's easier said than done but it is helping me (a little!).
The other thing I've been thinking about (and I know this is a little morbid) is of people who haven't got my opportunties. By that I mean people I have known who have, for one reason or another, passed away. They ranged in age from 20 to 34. I think about the fact that you can plan for old age all you like but there is nothing written in stone that says you are going to get there. And if you move to Oz it doesn't have to be forever - Qantas flights go both ways!!
It sometimes amazes me how some people live. The people that don't know where they'll be in 6 months time and just go with the flow. I meet a lot of those types of people and I truly admire them. They're able to achieve their dreams and live for the moment.
And if you are still unconvinced then can I suggest you listen to a song by The Coral entitled Bill McCai. Might not be the best idea to base a life changing decision on a song but it could give you an idea of how you will feel if you don't grab every opportunity that comes your way.
One other thing - where and when did you do your parachute jump. I'm in the UK - got about 550 jumps under my belt so far. One of the criteria for choosing a place to live in Oz is that it has to be near a DropZone
Hey Argonaut
You sound a little like me. I'm only 28 but I've already started to buy into the whole UK ethos of "must have mortgage", "must start pension", "must get married", "must work like a b*st*rd 'cos someone younger will come out of uni and take my job"!!!! And I'm only 28 for christs sake.
Hmmmm, just read that again - I'm not that bad but it's the way things are going.
I've just posted to this forum (see the thread entitled introduction) and you are basically suffering from nerves. How do i know this - because I am too!!!!!
I made my 'introduction' post at about 6:00pm uk time and I was all gung-ho, I'm moving to Oz.
It's now 9:00pm and I'm crapping myself trying to think of anything I can to talk me out of it. And that is the main problem - I'm thinking too much about it. I met a guy the other day who had moved from Oz to the UK. He advised me that the way he dealt with it was to not think about it too much. Maybe that's easier said than done but it is helping me (a little!).
The other thing I've been thinking about (and I know this is a little morbid) is of people who haven't got my opportunties. By that I mean people I have known who have, for one reason or another, passed away. They ranged in age from 20 to 34. I think about the fact that you can plan for old age all you like but there is nothing written in stone that says you are going to get there. And if you move to Oz it doesn't have to be forever - Qantas flights go both ways!!
It sometimes amazes me how some people live. The people that don't know where they'll be in 6 months time and just go with the flow. I meet a lot of those types of people and I truly admire them. They're able to achieve their dreams and live for the moment.
And if you are still unconvinced then can I suggest you listen to a song by The Coral entitled Bill McCai. Might not be the best idea to base a life changing decision on a song but it could give you an idea of how you will feel if you don't grab every opportunity that comes your way.
One other thing - where and when did you do your parachute jump. I'm in the UK - got about 550 jumps under my belt so far. One of the criteria for choosing a place to live in Oz is that it has to be near a DropZone
Thanks for the comments and support. Certainly, nerves and fear of the unknown have a lot to do with it. My parachute jump was nothing really - about 13 years ago, static line jump to raise money for the Cancer Research Campaign (from Biggin Hill).
Nov 26th 2003, 4:55 pm
#64
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Thailand
Posts: 57
Originally posted by argonaut
...ahhhh....curse of the phantom posts strikes again!!
Thanks for the comments and support. Certainly, nerves and fear of the unknown have a lot to do with it. My parachute jump was nothing really - about 13 years ago, static line jump to raise money for the Cancer Research Campaign (from Biggin Hill).
...ahhhh....curse of the phantom posts strikes again!!
Thanks for the comments and support. Certainly, nerves and fear of the unknown have a lot to do with it. My parachute jump was nothing really - about 13 years ago, static line jump to raise money for the Cancer Research Campaign (from Biggin Hill).
Have been reading the thread with interest...I would say just go for it...100,000 dollars plus a year will buy you a very nice comfy lifestyle in OZ and make your wife happy....
I understand your wife totally...I have been away from Australia for 10 years and I am totally homesick and want to go home...Now just waiting for my (Thai) husbands visa to be approved and we will be off...If my husband was absolutely against living in Australia I think it would spell the end of our marriage...As I have lived/endured 5 years in his country now its his turn to try out mine...Sit down and have a heart to heart with u wife is my advice...Chloe...
Nov 26th 2003, 4:59 pm
#65
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 11,149
Originally posted by chloet
Hi A,
Have been reading the thread with interest...I would say just go for it...100,000 dollars plus a year will buy you a very nice comfy lifestyle in OZ and make your wife happy....
I understand your wife totally...I have been away from Australia for 10 years and I am totally homesick and want to go home...Now just waiting for my (Thai) husbands visa to be approved and we will be off...If my husband was absolutely against living in Australia I think it would spell the end of our marriage...As I have lived/endured 5 years in his country now its his turn to try out mine...Sit down and have a heart to heart with u wife is my advice...Chloe...
Hi A,
Have been reading the thread with interest...I would say just go for it...100,000 dollars plus a year will buy you a very nice comfy lifestyle in OZ and make your wife happy....
I understand your wife totally...I have been away from Australia for 10 years and I am totally homesick and want to go home...Now just waiting for my (Thai) husbands visa to be approved and we will be off...If my husband was absolutely against living in Australia I think it would spell the end of our marriage...As I have lived/endured 5 years in his country now its his turn to try out mine...Sit down and have a heart to heart with u wife is my advice...Chloe...
BTW where are you in Thailand?
Nov 26th 2003, 5:05 pm
#66
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Thailand
Posts: 57
Hi There,
Well lets cross that bridge when we come to it....But if he does want to come back here to live it will create some problems as I dont ever want to live on a permanent basis here again...Holidays (and Thailand is closer than the UK) are fine but we live a very Thai lifestyle here and it is not a very comfortable one...Lets hope my hubby loves Australia and fits in...!!! Fingers crossed...
We are in Bangkok... Chloe...
Well lets cross that bridge when we come to it....But if he does want to come back here to live it will create some problems as I dont ever want to live on a permanent basis here again...Holidays (and Thailand is closer than the UK) are fine but we live a very Thai lifestyle here and it is not a very comfortable one...Lets hope my hubby loves Australia and fits in...!!! Fingers crossed...
We are in Bangkok... Chloe...
Nov 26th 2003, 6:55 pm
#67
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Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posts: 345
Re: Marital stress - need advice re: emigration people!!
Originally posted by argonaut
Been lurking in this forum for a while now but now need an objective view from everyone on a BIG dilemma I'm facing.
My problem is that I'm 36 years old, British (brought up in London) but my wife's Australian, 29 years old (brought up in Sydney). We've lived in London for the last 7 years since getting married, but my wife's been getting more homesick each year (parents and sister in Oz) and is now insisting on moving to Melbourne (where her parents are building a house)!
I am a Chartered Accountant (tax specialist) and therefore will be paid a cr@p salary in Melbourne. I'm 36. We have a nice house (though nothing palatial lke you can get in Oz!), two nice cars and I have a well paid job with a final salary pension scheme. Now is NOT the time for me to be uprooting and trying to start over!!
My wife will be a qualified primary school teacher soon and would earn maybe $40k in Oz, me maybe $70k. If we have a $250k mortgage (no kids yet), is this enough to have a COMFORTABLE life with a UK holiday every other year? I don't want to have to struggle financially at this stage of my life and what happens if we DO have kids and she stops work for a few years? Also, I'd lose a lucrative UK pension. In the UK, if she didn't work, we'd still manage quite well (still run both cars and still have the nice house).
Advice please - I'm getting depressed about the arguments with the wife, but she misses her family and obviously can't help that.
Thanks for reading, anyway.
Been lurking in this forum for a while now but now need an objective view from everyone on a BIG dilemma I'm facing.
My problem is that I'm 36 years old, British (brought up in London) but my wife's Australian, 29 years old (brought up in Sydney). We've lived in London for the last 7 years since getting married, but my wife's been getting more homesick each year (parents and sister in Oz) and is now insisting on moving to Melbourne (where her parents are building a house)!
I am a Chartered Accountant (tax specialist) and therefore will be paid a cr@p salary in Melbourne. I'm 36. We have a nice house (though nothing palatial lke you can get in Oz!), two nice cars and I have a well paid job with a final salary pension scheme. Now is NOT the time for me to be uprooting and trying to start over!!
My wife will be a qualified primary school teacher soon and would earn maybe $40k in Oz, me maybe $70k. If we have a $250k mortgage (no kids yet), is this enough to have a COMFORTABLE life with a UK holiday every other year? I don't want to have to struggle financially at this stage of my life and what happens if we DO have kids and she stops work for a few years? Also, I'd lose a lucrative UK pension. In the UK, if she didn't work, we'd still manage quite well (still run both cars and still have the nice house).
Advice please - I'm getting depressed about the arguments with the wife, but she misses her family and obviously can't help that.
Thanks for reading, anyway.
You will NOT be able to afford a palatial house in Melbourne. (We're on a combined income of 180K per year and can't afford a palatial house in Adelaide which is a hell of a lot cheaper than Melbourne). Unless ofcourse you have lots of equity in your existing house already.
However you will probably earn more than 70K and will probably get a company car as well - company cars are much more common here than in the UK and usually include all running costs, which is a pretty huge saving each month.
Nov 26th 2003, 8:04 pm
#68
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Originally posted by Spectre
And if you are still unconvinced then can I suggest you listen to a song by The Coral entitled Bill McCai. Might not be the best idea to base a life changing decision on a song but it could give you an idea of how you will feel if you don't grab every opportunity that comes your way.
And if you are still unconvinced then can I suggest you listen to a song by The Coral entitled Bill McCai. Might not be the best idea to base a life changing decision on a song but it could give you an idea of how you will feel if you don't grab every opportunity that comes your way.
