Originally Posted by cheri-pie

I've worried about not making any friends when we move but I'm sure things will be fine. The kids will make new friends at school and hubby will make friends from work, its just me that will find it lonely. But I intend to join a gym and do lots of classes etc so I can get fit whilst trying to find friends

The OP is right, if you make an effort to get on with people then surely you can't go far wrong.

I've moved about a lot in UK and have not got any friends that I've known for more than 3 or 4 years and we don't currently live anywhere near our families so it shouldn't be difficult for us to up and leave - can't bloody wait!

I think we will all definately be OK, Australia is such a friendly place. We met lots of nice people on our reccie and that was only 2 weeks! Have still kept in touch with some as well

Cheri x

Originally Posted by michellemac

Good post!

D'uh - you'd think it was obvious wouldn't you . I've lived in Australia for the first 22 years of my life and UK for the last 10 years of my life. I like both countries but Australia is home and wins on our current standards of what we want to do with our life.

What I've found amazing are these posters who post about Australians being thick/insular/shallow/cliquey etc. Do people honestly think that Australia is the only place in the world where this is true of *some* of the people who live there? Do people honestly the wonder why some posters get "defensive" when told that they, their friends and family (as Australians) are thick and stupid?

It stands to reason - as you've said - that if it's taken you years to develop friends beyond the superficial level, then it's going to take the same amount of time to do so when you move countries. I also think that the later in life you try and develop deep friendships, the more difficult it is to do, Childhood friendships seem to have a different quality to ones we make as adults (in my own expereince anyway).

I have some generalisations I could make about English people but they don't apply to so many of the people I know here in England that I would never tar them with the same brush. None of the people I met in my first two years of living in the UK are people I am in touch with now,and yes, they were superficial frienships but hey,they were the first people I came across when i got here! It was only when i settled into a "proper house" and got a "proper job" that I found friendships that have lasted a good long while. I have some wonderful English friends, none of whom, are thick or stupid (although one of them is deeply, deeply unfashionale ) but I can tell you I've met a fair few ignorant, insular, stupid, unfashionable and moronic people in both Australia AND the UK (sadly they seem to be populating the entire world at a rapid rate... ).

edited to add - (being postive as well!) that I've also met a lot of wise, intelligent, well-travelled, friendly people who I could listen to for hours, whose opinions I value, in both countries who come from all over the world.

Michelle

Originally Posted by nickyc

This is the sanest post I've read on this forum for days.
You are, of course, 100% correct.

Anyone who can label the population of an entire country as 'unfriendly' or 'superficial' or 'shallow' or whatever - only demonstrates their own lack of maturity.

Originally Posted by chels

I think some people forget how hard it is to make friends as you grow older and leave behind your golden opportunities in the past to build a social network - school, university, first job etc - when you were with other people who had no friends or significant partners to fall back on and so wanted to make an effort too to make friends.

I've found it hard to make friends over here because my (Australian) work colleagues have established social networks and didn't want to socialise with other work colleagues - they saw enough of them during the day/week! I have found they don't want to go out for drinks with work colleagues, preferring instead to go home and hit the beach or relax with their families.

And work is my main avenue for meeting new (Australian) people and making friends. Me and the other half have tried joining evening classes, going to the pub for trivia nights, latching on to people who show even the vaguest desire to spend more time with us (we're probably starting to look desperate now!). But still, it comes to a weekend and we usually don't have people to socialise with in the evenings like we used to back in England.

We'll keep trying - we plan to get a dog (everyone has dogs round here, bound to make friends at puppy training classes) and hopefully have children soon so that will open new avenues for us. OH finds it particularly hard, as he always found it easy to make friends back in England due to a set of fortunate circumstances over the years.

Originally Posted by michellemac

What I've found amazing are these posters who post about Australians being thick/insular/shallow/cliquey etc. Do people honestly think that Australia is the only place in the world where this is true of *some* of the people who live there? Do people honestly the wonder why some posters get "defensive" when told that they, their friends and family (as Australians) are thick and stupid?

Originally Posted by kiwichild

We construct English in such a way that it can at times appear to be ambiguous. If someone labels aussies or kiwis or poms etc etc it can generally be assumed that:

1. they are talking from their own personal experience

2. and making an assessment based on the interactions they have had from people from that group.

No one in their right mind would come out and state that an entire nation is such and such. Some polls or questions are framed in such a way that an answer can appear to be a generalisation.

Originally Posted by Gibbo

From your many posts I assume you have lived in Australia and availed yourself of the Australian education system and yet your posts seem to be anti- Australian. Ofcourse this is only my opinion. The post I have quoted, again my opinion, implies that all nationalities on this board have no concept of the English language ie they do not understand that the written word can be interpreted in different ways. It is very difficult to read our own posts in an objective way, thus making it difficult for us to understand why we might appear to to be portraying ourselves as being superior to others. Just my thoughts.