Matt06

hello,

just appreciate any advice or anything.

xxx

matthew

Shakmaty

Are you taking the piss?

Matt06

No, im not, maybe a should have rephrased it differently... it does seem a bit harsh. i just meant like to distance myself from them a LITTLE bit, so that the goodby is easier...

know what i mean?

matt

Shakmaty

Your true friends are just that, and distance makes no difference. If they are true friends, you'll keep in touch. The wierd thing is that when you leave you'll find out who your true friends are, and that might surprise you

Goodbyes aren't easy, but they can be as much a celebration of the friendships you've made as a commiseration of the friendships you're losing. Depends which way you look at things?

CathnPaul

The first answer was a bit strong shakmaty...your second reply is more likely the answer the OP could have done with. I agree, true friendships dont break off when you move.

My friends are just that...best friends regardless of where they are.

seasprite

We found that as soon as we talked about moving some of our friends stopped socialsing as much and didnt put any effort in. It worked both ways though! I think it was an automatic thing, not pre mediatated. But those people were our "now" friends who we know more through circumstance ie;playgroup parents, neighbours etc.
Our proper old friends remain the same and always will. Some of them we only see once a year in the uk or once in 5 years and it doesn't make any difference, they are still " true".
Advice, well I personally have distanced myself a bit, but then I am not a "coffee and chat girl" anyway.Have been the same with my old friends, and family too. We are flying out on 4.11 and I still dont feel it is real, so I will find it easily surreal to say my goodbyes!

rebnatoli

When a good friend of mine moved to Wales a few years ago I was worried about how the kids and I would get on when she went as we saw each other most days. So I decided to try and distance myself from them a bit hoping to lessen the probs when she moved - in retrospect this was a huge mistake - we have stayed in touch and visited each other (OK so not so easy with Oz!) and when we talked about that stage she thought she had done something wrong and started seeing some other friends which upset me at the time too! I personally think just carry on as normal - good friends will keep in touch and even the ones that wont are still fun to socialise with until you go. It will be bad enough missing people once you have gone without making yourself miserable now.

Matt06

Wow, i didnt really expect that much advice in one day...lol! thanks everyone for the reasureance and advice, i really appreciate it.

Thanks

xxx

matt

Babycatcher

I like this quote: 'Many friends go in and out of our lives but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart'...
This is true for me - sometimes your truest friends are the ones you least expect. Have lots and lots of fun with all your friends, take good memories with you and leave them with good memories too.

I have had an Ozzie teenager living with me for the last year and she gets on msn regularly and we have a cheap calling deal and she is still close to all her 'true' friends.
Be true to you! And Live Life....

ljj

I know what you mean. I was horrified that a friend of mine when we told them about our plans to move here said to me. I'd like to have your son round more to play as our children get on so well but you will be leaving in the next 12-18 months and I don't want my son to get too attached to yours and then be left alone!

I have heard that when moving here on a temporary visa never tell people that as they may not want to take the time to form a friendship if you are only here for a few years. Say initially it will be for 3 years but you are hoping to stay indefinitely. Especially if you have kids. Of course you will get people that are lovely through and through but it's good to err on the side of caution.

LJJ

hedgehog-girl

Why on earth would you want to distance yourself from your friends when you are sooooo going to need them when you move. Don't you think you will be phoning them every 5 minutes for support until you settle in?

I understand you want to make it easier for when you go, but don't distance yourself or you won't have them visiting you or making time for you when you go back to the UK for visits.

RichP

Have you ever moved away before?

Friends are friends, no matter what distance.

RichP

Just read you were 16.

All the best to you.

Stay in touch, you will need them.

Hutch

Normally it's the friends you're leaving behind that do the distancing - pretty standard way of coping with it. Certainly happened to us, but as has been mentioned, it's sure as hell a good way of finding out who your real mates are.

Shakmaty

Actually I think my first answer may have woken the OP up to what he was saying. When he replied sensibly I gave him a sensible answer, which has been backed up by others. Friendship is not something to be thrown away, it is something that each person should treasure.