Thought I'd let you read the poem my mum wrote when I left UK for OZ. It made me cry.

I TRIED NOT TO CRY
'Mum, I've got something to tell you.'
I could see by your expression
It was something I wouldn't want to hear.
I waited while you searched for the right words.
For God's sake tell me, I thought, as
All kinds of awful things went through my mind.
Then the words came. Tumbled out.
Hard, like stones clattering to the ground.
'Mum - we're emigrating to Australia.'
I stood dumb, as you listed your reasons.
A better standard of living; smaller mortgage;
Your husband could lighten his workload.
Endless sunshine. I tried not to cry.
As the months went by you made your plans,
And I prayed they'd come to nothing.
You loved us too much to leave us, I thought.
But in the end I had to accept you were going.
Thousands of miles from us, how would I cope?
I was about to lose my best friend.
No more girly moments with you and my granddaughter.
Christmases would never be the same.
Then I had another thought - you wouldn't be there when I died.
Silly, I know, and maybe selfish. But that's how I felt.
You're gone now, and we miss you so much it hurts.
Did you know Dad cried all the way home from the airport?
'We're only 24 hours away,' you tell us.
Might as well be the other side of the moon
We haven't the means to jet across the world.
We wish you success and happiness in the life you've chosen.
But how can we fill the empty space you left behind.

Thats lovely, and good for you for still going through with it, it sounds like you have lovely parents.

I have and love them very much but I have to live my life how I want to, not how anyone else wants me too. My mum understands and agrees with me but she finds it hard cos I am her favourite and we were very close. But she will be coming out to visit because I will be buying the tickets!

THAT MADE ME CRY TOO. my mum wrote something for us too, but i could not read it for months, and so did my daughter, i broke my heart, why do we put ourselves through this, well maybe its because we want the best for our family, Denise

That must have been so hard to read Meelie. I think near enough everyone on BE can empathise with your position. Its not easy - we all know. Quite often in life though many of the things worth having never do come easy! Stay strong and good luck with your new adventure. Love & best wishes, Trev.xx

Very touching words!! Makes you realise how they feel It is such a hard time to deal with!!

Roni

I cried buckets!!!! It's all your worried thoughts confirmed....
It must have been hard, and so brave of you. Good luck

Trouble is with emigrating is that it tests relationships to the max.

It will test your parents because they will be forced to admit they love you so much that they must be willing to let you go.

It will test yours because you will be putting into practise everything they have taught you which enables you to take this huge step in the first place.

It hurts like hell for all parties, but in order to love someone, you must let them go because your heart will always belong to them.

You don't lose them really, they just reside in another place, not an impossible place, just one further away.

But a good relationship cannot be cut - no matter what the distance.

Lovely poem.

sat crying!!!!! too right, all parents must go through similar feelings which are hard all around, but steves picky made me smile!!

So sad what we have to do in order to get a better life, ive got all this to come in the next couple of months with my Mum.

Paula.

Oh Lord Im crying too. I dont know if I can do this to my dear Mum. It was the bit about not being there when she dies that got me. Im choked.

That got too me too as it has crossed my mind more than once

Thanks everyone. Everytime I read it I cry but then I seem to cry so easily as I miss everyone so much. The hardest thing with emigrating is leaving those you love behind and having to make new friendships. I've told my mum she will have to come visit and if she comes here then I can devote my time solely to her. At least she can see me on webcam too which she calls her Meelie fix.

You cannot think this way because you simply don't know what is in store. You *might* get knocked over by a bus and killed next week, or next month.

I held back from doing things in my life so I could be there for my mum, and I still wasn't there for her when she died. It came too suddenly and too unexpectedly. You can't live your life for your parents or anyone else, and you can't build your future on *maybes* and *whatifs*. You will end up full of regrets if you do. Parents bring kids into the world, guide them through childhood and adolescence, and then let them go to make their own way. Dealing with the pain of that is the dilemma of the parents, not the kids.

We don't own our kids - we're just here to hopefully steer them in the right direction on the path of Life. Then they have to fulfill their own destinies. And whether we like it or not, we have to sit back and watch without criticism or complaint. And pick up the pieces if necessary.

To keep someone, you have to let them go. And it is the hardest thing in the world.