life turned upside down
Dec 11th 2003, 7:33 pm
#1
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life turned upside down
has anyone found their lives completely turned upside down in unexpected ways by their move? I think that i have changed in so many ways - and not always for the better.
Dec 11th 2003, 7:44 pm
#2
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Joined: Apr 2003
Location: was Lancashire now Perth
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My parents are no longer speaking to me which I wasn't quite expecting
Claire
Claire
Dec 11th 2003, 8:05 pm
#3
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Location: New Plymouth, NZ
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Re: life turned upside down
Originally posted by miss brodie
has anyone found their lives completely turned upside down in unexpected ways by their move? I think that i have changed in so many ways - and not always for the better.
has anyone found their lives completely turned upside down in unexpected ways by their move? I think that i have changed in so many ways - and not always for the better.
In what ways, Miss Brodie?
We are heading out to your neck of the woods ( well, New Plymouth) in Feb so it would be interesting to hear about your experiences.
Dec 12th 2003, 7:15 pm
#4
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All the stuff you expereince - great and not so great - can make big impacts on your life. Sometimes i feel really sad that I seem to have wasted big chunks of my life to date by not makng a move far sooner. All the new people i have met and the new stuff i have done can also prove very confusing in tems of your personal identity and it becomes a lot less clear what you are really about. I have been turned upside down by some of the Kiwis i have met and there are strains oin my relationship with my Brit partner that i never thought possible in the UK.
Dec 12th 2003, 7:19 pm
#5
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Originally posted by miss brodie
All the stuff you expereince - great and not so great - can make big impacts on your life. Sometimes i feel really sad that I seem to have wasted big chunks of my life to date by not makng a move far sooner. All the new people i have met and the new stuff i have done can also prove very confusing in tems of your personal identity and it becomes a lot less clear what you are really about. I have been turned upside down by some of the Kiwis i have met and there are strains oin my relationship with my Brit partner that i never thought possible in the UK.
All the stuff you expereince - great and not so great - can make big impacts on your life. Sometimes i feel really sad that I seem to have wasted big chunks of my life to date by not makng a move far sooner. All the new people i have met and the new stuff i have done can also prove very confusing in tems of your personal identity and it becomes a lot less clear what you are really about. I have been turned upside down by some of the Kiwis i have met and there are strains oin my relationship with my Brit partner that i never thought possible in the UK.
Dec 13th 2003, 5:38 am
#6
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Originally posted by claireg3
My parents are no longer speaking to me which I wasn't quite expecting
Claire
My parents are no longer speaking to me which I wasn't quite expecting
Claire
That is not altogether a bad thing you know. I wish my parents were not speaking to me!
My parents visited me a couple of years ago. Because they "Came such a long way" they stayed for over a month. I lost every weekend to carting them around, had to take time off work, took one of them to see a Doctor, etc etc.
Had I been in England I would only have to see them once a month!
Don't worry about it; aged parents can be a real pain in the backside.
Dec 13th 2003, 6:34 am
#7
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Originally posted by Goodpubmisser
That is not altogether a bad thing you know. I wish my parents were not speaking to me!
My parents visited me a couple of years ago. Because they "Came such a long way" they stayed for over a month. I lost every weekend to carting them around, had to take time off work, took one of them to see a Doctor, etc etc.
Had I been in England I would only have to see them once a month!
Don't worry about it; aged parents can be a real pain in the backside.
That is not altogether a bad thing you know. I wish my parents were not speaking to me!
My parents visited me a couple of years ago. Because they "Came such a long way" they stayed for over a month. I lost every weekend to carting them around, had to take time off work, took one of them to see a Doctor, etc etc.
Had I been in England I would only have to see them once a month!
Don't worry about it; aged parents can be a real pain in the backside.
Dec 13th 2003, 9:28 am
#8
Life's next chapter is?
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: NW England...for now.
Posts: 942
Re: life turned upside down
Originally posted by miss brodie
has anyone found their lives completely turned upside down in unexpected ways by their move? I think that i have changed in so many ways - and not always for the better.
has anyone found their lives completely turned upside down in unexpected ways by their move? I think that i have changed in so many ways - and not always for the better.
Yup....where do I start...£15,000 loss and a near divorce to return to the UK next month....so you could say it was not for the better.....
Dec 13th 2003, 12:12 pm
#9
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Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Back in UK
Posts: 750
Originally posted by miss brodie
All the stuff you expereince - great and not so great - can make big impacts on your life. Sometimes i feel really sad that I seem to have wasted big chunks of my life to date by not makng a move far sooner. All the new people i have met and the new stuff i have done can also prove very confusing in tems of your personal identity and it becomes a lot less clear what you are really about. I have been turned upside down by some of the Kiwis i have met and there are strains oin my relationship with my Brit partner that i never thought possible in the UK.
All the stuff you expereince - great and not so great - can make big impacts on your life. Sometimes i feel really sad that I seem to have wasted big chunks of my life to date by not makng a move far sooner. All the new people i have met and the new stuff i have done can also prove very confusing in tems of your personal identity and it becomes a lot less clear what you are really about. I have been turned upside down by some of the Kiwis i have met and there are strains oin my relationship with my Brit partner that i never thought possible in the UK.
If it makes you feel any better you are not alone in experiencing the pressure that migration can have on a relationship. It is a very stressful time, even the new exciting good changes create their own stress but then with the move itself finding somewhere to live, work etc its STRESS OVERLOAD.
Maybe take some time off together, away from the current stress, it can be scary but if your relationship was sound before the move you should be okay hopefully to get it back on an even keel.
very best of luck.
Donna
Dec 13th 2003, 4:30 pm
#10
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,666
I really dont think anyone can make such huge changes in their life and not be changed or affected by it.
I have left UK for over 2yrs now, and i am a totally different person. I admit that the first year was a really rough ride for me personally. I even became depressed for a while and thought i wouldnt make it. I am very lucky that i have a strong, loving and supportive husband who really helped me through it all.
Looking back, i am glad i experienced it. It gave me a chance to re assess who i am, single out and identify what my goals were, and make changes which really turned my life around. The fact that i didnt know many people, and didnt have family and friends distracting me meant i could really focus on ME for the first time in my life.
Big changes and progress are a long hard road, but once you sort it all out in your own mind, you'll be flying!!
I wish you good luck in sorting things out.. if you need a sympathetic ear just holler!!
I have left UK for over 2yrs now, and i am a totally different person. I admit that the first year was a really rough ride for me personally. I even became depressed for a while and thought i wouldnt make it. I am very lucky that i have a strong, loving and supportive husband who really helped me through it all.
Looking back, i am glad i experienced it. It gave me a chance to re assess who i am, single out and identify what my goals were, and make changes which really turned my life around. The fact that i didnt know many people, and didnt have family and friends distracting me meant i could really focus on ME for the first time in my life.
Big changes and progress are a long hard road, but once you sort it all out in your own mind, you'll be flying!!
I wish you good luck in sorting things out.. if you need a sympathetic ear just holler!!
Dec 14th 2003, 1:18 am
#11
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Originally posted by welshboybilly
but they are your parents and probably took time off work once or twice when you were a wee lad, no doubt they also paid a few visits to the doctor with you, how can you be so harsh?
but they are your parents and probably took time off work once or twice when you were a wee lad, no doubt they also paid a few visits to the doctor with you, how can you be so harsh?
Ever watched Seinfield? Try putting up with George's parents for a month.
On a rating scale I would say my parents come in slightly worse than Gerry's but better than Georges.
I love my parents but that does not mean that I want extensive contact with them. As I said had I stayed in Britain I would just have to have Sunday lunch with them once a month and visit them for in hospital while they are having hip and knee replacements.
This is one aspect to living in Australia that you will have to get used to - when peole visit you from Britain they stay for a long, long time.
Dec 14th 2003, 3:30 am
#12
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Originally posted by Goodpubmisser
and visit them for in hospital while they are having hip and knee replacements.
and visit them for in hospital while they are having hip and knee replacements.
you made me chuckle with that one
Dec 14th 2003, 9:04 am
#13
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Re: life turned upside down
Originally posted by miss brodie
has anyone found their lives completely turned upside down in unexpected ways by their move?
has anyone found their lives completely turned upside down in unexpected ways by their move?
Dec 14th 2003, 9:59 am
#14
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Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Woodcroft, 25 kms south of Adelaide South Australia
Posts: 281
Emigrating puts an enormous strain on personal relationships, particularly if you have no close relatives already here. You become totally isolated and have to make all your decisions without the benefit of advice from trusted friends and family. I know I certainly fell into an huge depression that lasted for some years.
As for people visiting, my parents came over once for 6 weeks and that was lovely, but when my sister has stayed we have always ended up arguing. So much so that once she flew home after just a few days and now she and her husband will not stay unless they are in a motel/hotel and have their own hire car. It works so much better that way!
As for people visiting, my parents came over once for 6 weeks and that was lovely, but when my sister has stayed we have always ended up arguing. So much so that once she flew home after just a few days and now she and her husband will not stay unless they are in a motel/hotel and have their own hire car. It works so much better that way!
