British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Australia (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/)
-   -   Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread.. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/lets-have-top-tips-thread-250834/)

whisky Aug 26th 2004 2:38 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
What about 'yer, yer no' when asking a question. I never know what the answer is :D

Whisky

jayr Aug 26th 2004 2:55 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
Prepare for sending back pesents to the UK by buying very small and lightweight gifts for your friends and family. Alternatively, buy them what you wanted to get and hand over the same amount again in cash to represent postage.

Practice for conversations with your UK rellies by asking them to commence every conversation with "What time is it there? Really? At night? But it's morning here? Is it dark? Is it still the same day? You're in winter? But it's summer here, is it August there or not?"

Practice fooling those relatives who you have no wish to talk to by beginning every conversation "Hello, oh it's you. Sorry, it's three in the morning, I'll call you later."

Prepare for the different timings of Mother's Day and Father's Day by finding the one shop which stocks cards for the UK dates and sending your mother a card with some soppy dog on front and a crap verse and your father one with a fishing rod on front. Alternatively, remember to buy a Father's Day card in September and do not lose it until June.

Avoid ever having to apologise for forgetting birthdays by saying "Really, I posted it three weeks ago and you still haven't got it?" before popping out to the shops and getting a card.

hevs Aug 26th 2004 3:14 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 

Originally Posted by JulesandChris
Update your CD collection to aussie standards before you come.
Visit Woolies and search through the bargain bins for any rock albums from before 1999.

Then play say four a day on repeat to get the feel of an aussie radio station (but don't forget to shout wanker, bastard, shit and piss reguarly for true simulation)

Ceri Aug 26th 2004 3:21 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 

Originally Posted by jayr
Prepare for sending back pesents to the UK .

Jayr .. Good idea!!!!. I would have never thought of sending the local peasants or" pesents" back to the uk . Now that is a good thought for my next gift home to send to my mum-in-law

whisky Aug 26th 2004 3:22 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 

Originally Posted by renth
Are you a mindreader? I was just thinking that this very morning!

No I don't think so, not unless all these people have read my mind on this thread.
Had a real laugh on here this morning reading these threads. All very true, and good to have a laugh about.

Whisky

whisky Aug 26th 2004 3:24 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
Don't do as I did, and throw your good brollies away in the UK thinking that you will never need them.

Whisky :rolleyes:

hevs Aug 26th 2004 3:29 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
Also be aware that your new Australian friends WILL NOT like you bagging their country, at all. They will not get sarcasm, irony or blatant piss taking in any form, well unless its of you of course :D

PS. Disclaimer *all of my comments in this thread are just observations of the differnece and/or simarlarities of our two countries and they are ment in a light hearted manner. Any peeps who are offended then i wholeheartedly appologise and advise them to get over themselves :D *

PPS, i am still really loving it here and refered to it as "home" the other day :eek:

whisky Aug 26th 2004 3:40 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
Why to everyones (including mine) feet start looking like dried out crocodiles skin, no matter how much creaming you do. :scared: :eek:

Whisky

Ceri Aug 26th 2004 3:40 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
Prepare for the fluctuating prices of Iceberg lettuce ( you've got to throw a lettuce in here lol ) .. run around all stores trying to find the cheapest ones.. so you can shout whoo hoo I bought an iceberg at 98 cents today.
then moan when it reaches $2.99 it's high peak of price.

sprinkle sugar on your bread to get used to the bread with sugar in it.

vegetarians : start eating environmental, recycled cardboard, (which is killed in a humane way of course) just to get you used to the lack of veggie food in supermarkets.

Innyjim Aug 26th 2004 3:45 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
Just as the wife gets home from work, pour a large pot of boiling chilli over you head and shout, "The dinner's on me tonight darling !"
How we laughed on the way to the Burns Unit !

whisky Aug 26th 2004 3:50 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 

Originally Posted by Innyjim
Just as the wife gets home from work, pour a large pot of boiling chilli over you head and shout, "The dinner's on me tonight darling !"
How we laughed on the way to the Burns Unit !

:D :D :scared: :eek:

Whisky

Ceri Aug 26th 2004 3:59 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 

Originally Posted by Innyjim
Just as the wife gets home from work, pour a large pot of boiling chilli over you head and shout, "The dinner's on me tonight darling !"
How we laughed on the way to the Burns Unit !

LOL .. don't be stupid now.. LOL!~!!!! ( I love it!) just spat my coffee out

Badge Aug 26th 2004 4:01 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 

Originally Posted by hevs
ill really loving it here and refered to it as "home" the other day :eek:

me too. BTW - for all you newbies - just got back from Lunch pissing myself laughing. Australians do have a sense of humour - its like anywhere else in the world people are funny, others aren't. One of our blokes is very dry..

BM

Badge Aug 26th 2004 4:07 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 

Originally Posted by JulesandChris
Visit Woolies and search through the bargain bins for any rock albums from before 1999.

Can I suggest that 1989 would be more appropriate..(!)

gedge Aug 26th 2004 4:12 pm

Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
 
Get used to never 'having a coffee' again.
Try some of these instead -
long black
short black
flat white
cappuccino
skinny cap
expresso
iced
mocha
mochaccino
babyccino
mugaccino
extra shot
with hazlenut
with caramel
malloccino
ristretto
latte
velvet latte
vienna
doppio
affogato
macchiato decafe with soy milk

... or make up your own words it doesn't matter.


All times are GMT -12. The time now is 3:24 am.

Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.